I didn’t know if that meant what Kieran had claimed—that Casteel and I were heartmates, but it did mean something. What that changed for me—for us—I also didn’t know.

I took a breath. It went nowhere, and it felt like the floor was moving—the whole world was shifting under me, even though I was sitting. “I’m going to do it.”

“I’m half-afraid to ask what it is you’re going to do.”

Folding my arms across my chest, I rolled my eyes. “I’m going to offer myself up…for dinner basically. To Casteel,” I tacked on.

“As dinner?”

“Basically.” I peeked at Kieran, and I could tell he was trying not to laugh.

“Only a part of me is surprised, but I’m relieved.” And it did seem like his shoulders looked less hunched. “He needs you.”

I’d just returned to the rooms Casteel and I had been given, hoping he’d returned, when Alastir knocked on the main door.

Letting him inside, I told myself not to stress over Casteel’s continued absence. He had to be okay…ish, and it was still pretty early in the morning.

Alastir was dressed in an outfit far more suited for the temperate weather, wearing only a white button-down shirt and breeches. I was half-tempted to cut the sleeves off the sweater, even though it remained cool in the rooms.

“I won’t take up too much of your time,” he said, sitting on the edge of the settee as he brushed back a lock of hair from his face. “I just wanted to check in on you after hearing that you had a far more eventful trip here than I.”

I sat across from him in one of the thickly cushioned armchairs. “Most of it was rather uneventful up until I learned of the Dead Bones Clan with firsthand experience.”

“I couldn’t believe when Casteel told me they had attacked your group,” he responded, and the measure of relief that came with that was ridiculous. He had to have spoken with Alastir this morning. “To be honest, I figured they were mostly gone by now.”

“Well, they are definitely a few members short now.” The image of Casteel tossing the men from the trees filled my mind. “I still can’t believe the Ascended have either allowed them to live out there or don’t know about them.” I glanced around, shaking my head. “Part of me can’t even believe they don’t know about this. I was shocked when I saw it.”

“Solis is a powerful kingdom, but they are also an arrogant one. I don’t believe they even considered once that Atlantia might quietly take back some of their lands.”

“Casteel had once said something similar—about their arrogance.”

He nodded. “Did Casteel not tell you about Spessa’s End? How he hopes to eventually move hundreds here?”

I nibbled on my lip, unsure if I should lie or not, but I decided that doing so would be silly. It was clear I had no idea. “He hadn’t yet.”

A slight frown pulled at his lips. “I honestly expected he would. Reclaiming Spessa’s End is incredibly important to him and the kingdom. And, it was entirely his idea. Something he convinced his father and mother of.”

Irritation reared its head again, but so did something heavier. Embarrassed because this seemed like something a fiancée should know about, I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. “I’m sure he planned to tell me, but with everything going on…”

Alastir nodded, but I could see the skepticism in his gaze. “I’m sure he would’ve, and that it was a simple oversight. Not an issue of trust or inattentiveness.”

I stiffened, having not even thought of an issue of trust, but…but that would make sense, wouldn’t it? What was being done here in Spessa’s End would be highly coveted information to the Ascended. If they found out, it could mean yet another raid on the town, the destruction of what they were building here—whatever that was. I wasn’t exactly sure since I’d only caught glimpses of it. Was that why Casteel hadn’t shared any information until I was far enough away from the Ascended that I was no longer a risk to Spessa’s End if I were captured or if I…reneged on our deal? Did he think I would ever say something that would put innocent people in harm’s way?

Innocent people I had assumed were guilty not all that long ago.

Unsettled by my thoughts, I asked Alastir about his trip. From there, he spoke of the upcoming journey. I relaxed as he talked. It was his voice and his raspy laugh, so familiar and so like Vikter’s. There was a calming quality to it, and I was so grateful for his visit that when it became clear that he would soon be leaving, I wanted to find an excuse for him to stay.

“There was another reason I wanted to speak with you,” he said as he leaned in. “When I spoke with Casteel this morning, he appeared…well, as if he were strung too tight. Then I learned that he’d been wounded when your group was set upon by the Dead Bones Clan.”

Keeping my face blank, I nodded. “He was wounded.”

“I don’t know how much you know about Atlantians and their needs or customs like the Joining, or what happens when they choose to be with someone, but he may need to feed. And with you not being accustomed to the Atlantian ways, I wanted to make sure you knew,” he said, his gentle smile creasing the skin at the corners of his eyes.

There was a sudden knot in my throat, and I almost launched myself at the poor man, but I somehow managed not to repeat that awkward moment. “I know he needs to feed. He will.” I felt my cheeks heat. “But what is the Joining?”

Alastir’s eyes widened. “He didn’t tell you?”

My shoulders started to slump. “Should he have?”

“I would think so.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “It may be expected, especially since you’re not a full-blooded Atlantian, but it—well, it wouldn’t exactly be the easiest of conversations with someone who didn’t grow up in Atlantia.” He started to stand. “And it’s one I was eternally grateful I never needed to explain to my daughter.”

“Wait.” I lifted a hand. “What is it?”

“You should ask Casteel.”

“You should tell me since you brought it up,” I pointed out. “What is this thing? The Joining?”

Alastir was still for a moment, and then he closed his eyes. “This is going to be an incredibly awkward conversation.”

I started to grin. “Now, I’m really interested.”

“And you will likely change your tune fairly quickly.” He rubbed his chin. “Gods, he probably never told you because of your background.”

“My background?” My brows rose. “As the Maiden?”

He nodded. “In your own words, you said you were quite sheltered, but even if you weren’t, what you’re about to hear would have come as a shock.”

“Okay?” Curiosity burned through me.

“The Joining is a very old tradition—one that isn’t often done. And thank the gods for that.” His upper lip curled in distaste. “It’s quite crass.”

Now was probably not a good time to admit that I was even more curious.

“When a bonded elemental takes on a partner, the bond can be extended to that person. It requires an exchange of blood between the three—or the four if the partner is also bonded. And the exchange of blood…well, it is quite…” He cleared his throat as his cheeks flushed. “It can become very intimate. In a way that would most likely make you very uncomfortable.”

There were many times in my life that I was shocked by something. The last several weeks had been one surprise after another, but this…

Even as sheltered as I was, I had a pretty good idea of what Alastir was trying to say thanks to Miss Willa Colyns’ diary. “Do you mean sex?”

His face was as red as mine felt. “Unfortunately.”

I stared at him, mouth open, but I had absolutely no words.

“But,” he said quickly, “like I said, it is a very old tradition, and while some of my younger brothers and sisters are far more open to the archaic traditions, it’s not one often practiced these days for…well, for obvious reasons.”

“I…” I felt hot and cold at the same time. “But you said that it may be expected since I’m not a full-blooded Atlantian. Why?”

“Why?” He blinked at me, and then his expression smoothed out. “Penellaphe, my dear, have you and Casteel not discussed the future? At all?”

The look in his expression caused acid to pool in my stomach. It was one of parental patience, the kind when a child was in over his or her head and needed an adult to rescue them.

“You will age, and while Casteel will also, he will do so in a way that, in eighty years, he will look the same and—”

“And I will be old and gray if I even survive that long,” I cut in, and then lied through my teeth. “We’ve talked about that.”

His gaze searched mine. “The Joining would not only ensure that the wolven would be duty-bound to protect your life, but the bond would tie your life to the elemental and the wolven. You would live as long as the wolven did, however long that may be.”

Yet again, I was utterly speechless. So many things raced through my mind, but what came to the forefront was the fact that I knew why Casteel had never mentioned this. Tension crept into my muscles, and the heaviness in my chest felt suffocating. There was no need for this…this thing to take place. No matter what Kieran thought, Casteel didn’t plan for us to remain married.

Chapter 25

The realization had a far more chilling effect than it should, and it was all Kieran’s stupid heartmates conversation’s fault.

And come to think of it, why in the hell hadn’t Kieran brought this up?

Then I thought of having this conversation with Kieran, and I wanted to take a wire brush to my brain. As handsome as I believed Kieran to be, I just…I couldn’t even begin to imagine doing something like that with him.