I clutched the envelope to my chest. Hardly any time had passed since we left The Shade and I already found the ache within me overwhelming. I wasn’t supposed to feel that way. I was supposed to be thankful that I was one of the few humans who actually made it out of The Shade, but no… all I could think about was how much I wanted to go back.

“Sofia?”

Ben’s voice from behind me caused me to jump back, startled. I quickly wiped the tears away from my face.

“What’s that?”

“It’s… just… it’s… nothing…”

“How could it be nothing? Let me see.” He stepped beside me and gestured for me to hand him over the envelope.

“Don’t get mad.” I handed it over to him, afraid of what his reaction would be – especially over the photo, with me smiling and looking straight at the camera, while Derek’s eyes were set on me.

I could sense Ben tense when he saw what was inside. He handed it right back to me, almost as if he was disgusted by it. “Where did you get that?”

“It came with the backpack.”

“I don’t understand how you can trust him.”

“He saved me so many times… I…”

“Don’t you get it, Sofia? You wouldn’t need saving if it weren’t for him!” The outburst was a first in a long time. I couldn’t remember seeing Ben direct that much anger at anyone before. Calming down after breathing in and out for a couple of seconds, he eventually said, “It was Derek. He was the vampire who killed Eliza.”

His words came like a punch in the gut, knocking the wind right out of me. It wasn’t like I wasn’t aware that it was possible, but placing a name to the victim made the thought come to life. I remembered the night Derek came to the penthouse, blood dripping from his lips, how menacing he looked…

“You don’t seem surprised.”

“Some of the other vampires offer up their slaves to him… for him to feed on…”

“Did he ever feed on you?”

“No… never…”

“So what exactly are you saying, Sofia? As long as you’re safe and taken care of, it’s fine that he’s a murderer who feeds off of other people?”

“No, Ben. It’s not like that. You don’t know him like I do… You haven’t seen him struggle to take control…” My reasoning seemed hollow in the light of Ben’s accusations.

“How on earth can you turn a blind eye to these things, Sofia? Since when did you become the kind of person who stood by, comfortably perched in some penthouse, sleeping with the enemy while people are being murdered all around you?”

“I never slept with Derek in the way you’re implying.”

He gave me a wry laugh. “Right, but that really isn’t the point, is it? If the vampire prince suddenly shows up - right here and right now - takes you in his arms and kisses you full on the mouth, would you resist?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out.

“I thought so,” he smiled bitterly. “You’re too blinded by your infatuation with him to see him for what he really is.” He eyed the envelope I was still clutching with both my hands. “He’s a monster.”

He turned back to the bedroom, but continued to speak. “Home is in California with the family who supported you and raised you for the past eight years. You don’t need their witch’s ring to find your way there. We make the drive back home first thing tomorrow.”

That night, Ben made a call to his parents, informing them where we were. The only explanation he gave them was that we wanted a taste of independence and decided to run away.

I feared that we would have to make one lie after another in order to cover up that story, but I didn’t want to worry much about it. The only lie that was circling my mind was the one I kept telling myself. I wanted Ben to be wrong about Derek and about how I simply turned a blind eye to what he’d been doing, but I knew he was right.

I didn’t know if it was self-preservation or something more than that, but back at The Shade, I wrapped myself in this little bubble, secured by Derek’s protection and unfounded fondness of me. I’d seen how other human captives were treated by other vampires, and never bothered to help. I simply thanked the powers that be that it wasn’t me. I was selfish and blind. I was so wrapped up in my fear and my own survival, I failed to look at the bigger picture. I failed to look at the immensity of the darkness that permeated The Shade.

It was logical and natural to hate the island the way Ben did. I was threatened multiple times while I was there. I was held captive. I was almost raped and killed. A friend of mine was murdered. I had every reason to hate The Shade and want to destroy it.

But I didn’t. And I couldn’t understand why.

CHAPTER 11: LUCAS

Breathless, Claudia and I rolled to our sides on her king-sized canopy bed. I pulled my arm from beneath her bare form, so I could sit over the edge of the bed and reach toward the table where I laid a pack of cigarettes. I propped myself up, leaning my back against the bed’s headboard before lighting up a cigarette.

I could feel Claudia’s eyes on me. She was often the girl I ran to whenever I needed a quick tumble in the bed. She served her purpose well. Of course, the entire time we were screwing each other, it wasn’t really Claudia on my mind. It was Sofia.

My brother’s slave managed to etch herself permanently on my subconscious from the very moment I first laid eyes on her and found myself wanting her – only to realize that she could never be mine. When I finally got a taste of her blood, I was a lost cause. I couldn’t get her out of my head. The fragile little twig.