Hours later, I had downed no less than ten shots and six or seven beers, not to mention the pain killer that B had given me before we left, but I found that my thoughts kept traveling back to Scarlett. I was finding it impossible to drink her out of my system. Actually, the drunker I got, the more I wanted to talk to her. I didn’t know what the fuck had happened, but I felt like if I could see her… talk to her… touch her… that I could fix whatever had happened, remind her of what we had and what he had done to her.

Unable to resist the temptation any longer, I snuck off to the bathroom and tried calling her, but her voicemail picked up on the first ring. Feeling defeated and hopeless, I rejoined my crew at the bar and ordered more shots. I clearly needed more to drink because I was still able to walk without falling over. I just wanted to drink until I remembered nothing.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

FRIENDS

River of Deceit ~ Mad Season

I’ll Be There For You ~ Boyce Avenue

I Will Remember You ~ Sarah McLachlan

SCARLETT

When we got back to Ash’s house, both Jess and Meg were there waiting for us. Jess instantly pulled me into a warm, welcoming embrace as soon as we walked through the door, and Meg followed suit. They both told me that I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted, and that they were both available if I needed a female to talk to about anything. We were all extremely emotional due to the nature of the day, I thanked them and then followed Ash back to his room. He cleared out some space in his closet for me to unpack some of my things. I tried arguing with him that I could just leave it all in my bags until I figured out where I was going, but he insisted that I not live out of a suitcase.

When he picked my phone up off of his desk and handed it to me, I looked down at it as it was a bomb about to explode in my hand. I didn’t even know where to start, who to call first, what I was going to say. Ash wished me good luck and left me in the room alone, shutting the door behind him. I sat down on the bed with a sigh of trepidation and turned it on.

I figured my parents were probably the safest bet. I didn’t have to tell them about the Max issue, and they would think I was just upset about Evie. The conversation with my mom went exactly as I thought it would- she told me that I needed to face my problems instead of running away from them, but that she was happy I was okay. I didn’t tell her about my lack of a home, I figured it was best to tackle that in a different phone call. After hanging up with her, I decided to call Mina. I was conquering the phone calls from easiest to hardest.

Mina answered on the first ring, and after making sure that I was physically okay, she went into a fifteen minute long lecture about worrying her and that I was giving her added stress on the week of her wedding and that she was going to kick my ass when she saw me. I apologized profusely for causing her additional anxiety during her wedding week, and told her that I still needed to talk to both Max and Mason to settle some things, but that I would definitely be at the wedding on Saturday. She told me that I could bring Ash with me if I wanted to, which really caught me off guard, but then I realized that she knew I was with him from his phone call to her before we left. I knew that she had a ton of questions she wanted to ask me, but held back with the interrogation, giving me the time to tell her what had happened on my own.

The next call was going to be awful. I didn’t even know what to say to Max. Where did I begin? What had he been going through over the past several days? Had he told anyone? Had he told Mason? God, I had made such a mess of things. Finding his name under my favorites, I touched it and held the ringing phone up to my ear.

“Scarlett,” he answered apprehensively.

“Max,” I replied with equal hesitation in my voice.

“We need to talk.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to do this over the phone. I need to see you. Can you meet me?”

“Yeah, I’ve got to call Mase first. Have you talked to him?”

“No, I’ve only talked to Mina, but not about…” his voice trailed off.

“The usual? An hour?”

“Okay, see you then. It’s gonna be okay, Scarlett. We’re gonna be okay.”

I hung up the phone not feeling much better about things. Mina was still happy with me, but she hadn’t yet found out what I had done, so that was subject to change. I had spoken with Max, but nothing had been resolved. At least I knew he wasn’t completely disgusted with me. But the most difficult call was the one that had my hands shaking and my chest feeling so tight I was sure I was going to have a heart attack.

I touched the first name on my screen and waited for Mason to answer. The phone rang and rang. His voicemail picked up after the fifth ring, and hearing his voice, even on a recording, brought tears to my eyes. My heart broke for us… for what we had shared, for what we could’ve had, for what we had both thrown away.

“Hey Mase, it’s me... Scarlett. I’m back in Houston. Give me a call when you can talk.”

MAX

I got to the Chocolate Bar about twenty minutes before I was supposed to meet Scarlett, but I was so anxious to see her, to talk to her. I felt absolutely awful about what had happened and I knew that I couldn’t put it to rest until we hashed it out. On top of that, it was the first year anniversary of Evie’s death. All day I had been a fucking wreck… looking at pictures of us, remembering the times we had spent together, beating myself up for what had happened with Scarlett.

I was happy to see our usual table open and I sat down, trying to calm my nerves before she arrived. I had no fucking clue what I was supposed to say, how we were gonna fix the situation we had gotten ourselves into. I just want to forget the whole thing had ever happened, just erase the whole night from my memory, but unfortunately, that just wasn’t possible.

Scarlett walked in about five minutes after I did, she obviously was eager to get this conversation over with as well. I wondered how her talk with Rat had gone, I truly felt awful for the situation she was in. Mina had told me that he had come looking for her but that Ash had called her saying he was taking her away… I just didn’t know what in the world was happening, but felt I responsible for it all. I should’ve fucking known better. I should’ve never gotten so drunk, knowing that we were both mentally and emotionally unstable.

She approached the table looking nervous and unsure of herself. I stood up and went to her, pulling her into my arms, and giving her the biggest hug I could possibly give. I knew that she most likely blamed herself, and I hated that she had to carry any more guilt than she already lived with.

“Scarlett, it’s gonna be alright, I promise,” I said.

“What did we do Max?” she asked.

“I don’t know, but we can figure it out. Come on sit down.”

I led her by the elbow to the chair and then sat down across the table from her. I couldn’t help but smile at the pink hoodie that she had on… always something pink. Where Evie always had on something red, Scarlett was always pink. Even though she didn’t realize it, she was a toned down version of Evie, much like pink was of red.

We spent the next hour and a half talking about what had happened leading up to the previous Friday night in my apartment. She told me about the conversation that she and Mason had shared during the afternoon and then the phone call with Bentley later that night. A combination of her insecurities in their relationship and the alcohol she had consumed that night had led her to assume that Mase had chosen Bentley over her, but I wasn’t so sure that was the case.

“Have you talked to him?”

“No. I called him earlier, but I got his voicemail.”

I put my head in my hands; I couldn’t believe what a mess we had created. I hadn’t taken any of his calls. I wanted him to talk to her first, I didn’t think it was my place to tell him, but I did want him to know. Whatever the end result, I wasn’t a person that was cool with lies and deceit.

“You have to keep trying him. Have you thought about going to Austin?”

“No! I just got home from California a couple of hours ago.”

“California? What the hell were you doing in California?” I was completely lost at this point.

“The night after I left your apartment, I freaked out and Ash picked me up.”

“Yeah, I knew that part. Mina told me you were with him. But how does California play into all of this?”

“He took me to his sister’s house for a couple of days to get away from everything. We just got back today.”

“Ahhh… so you haven’t spoken with Mason since last Friday afternoon?” The more of the story I heard, the more I wondered what all had happened between Rat and Bentley… something just wasn’t adding up… especially after the frantic messages that he had left on my voicemail.

“No… I ran away like I always do. I just wanted everyone and everything to go away.”

“And you called Ash?”

“Yeah… I don’t know. He had left this inspirational book on my car earlier in the day to help me through the whole Evie thing, and in the middle of my meltdown, I saw the book in my car and called him.”

“And…” I had a bad feeling I knew where this story was heading. An already distraught and broken Scarlett in a romantic setting with the guy who she thought was possibly her soul mate… God, this was all my fucking fault. I knew better, I could see it unraveling in front of my eyes that night, but I just couldn’t fucking stop it. It had been so long… and it wasn’t just because she occasionally reminded me of Evie by the things she did or said, but because she was… well, she was just her… sweet, beautiful, unassuming Scarlett. I knew she was hurting, that she felt abandoned by Mason… shit, I had felt that emptiness for a year. But I should’ve stopped it before it became the fucking mess that it had become.

“Like I said, he took me to his sister’s house where I was able to calm down a bit. There wasn’t much I could do without talking to you or Mase, and I didn’t have my phone to call either of you.”

“What happened with you and Ash?” I had to ask even though I was scared of the answer.

“Nothing. Nothing happened. He was just a good friend to me. We cleared the air between us about everything that had happened, and I told him about everything that happened with Mason and Bentley and you.”

She looked up at me with huge crocodile tears in her eyes. I reached across the table and grabbed her hands in mine. “I. Am. So. Sorry. I never wanted to cause you any trouble. We were both feeling lonely and needing to feel loved.”

That’s when the tears began falling fast and furiously down her cheeks. I used my thumb to help wipe them away, but continued with what I needed to say to her. “Scarlett, look at me.”

Looking at her face broke my heart even more than it already was, I hated myself. “I do love you. Just like I know you love me. But we both know it’s different. It doesn’t make us awful people for what happened; it makes us human. It’s only natural for two people who adore each other as much as we do, to want to comfort one another when we feel like we did. We took it too far. We got caught up in the alcohol and in the moment, and we just didn’t stop it when we should have. We don’t have to let it ruin us though. I’m still Max and you are still Scarlett and we are still best friends. I’ll still be here for you for whatever you need, just like I know you will be here for me. Right?”