“What is wrong with you?” I cry as soon as the door slams behind me.

“You wanted the real me,” he growls, stalking across the room, and pulling a cigarette from the packet on a desk. “This is it.”

“You rape women!”

He spins towards me, his eyes wild. He looks like heaven and hell all mixed in one perfect package right now. His eyes are blazing with rage, and his entire body is stiff and hard, but his lips are moist and soft, and his eyes are so blue with rage, they’re breathtaking. He’s everything that’s perfect, and everything that’s fucked up.

“What did you say?” he breathes.

“I said, you rape women?”

“I don’t fucking rape anyone,” he roars, slamming his fist down on the desk.

“Then you like the idea of raping them?”

He storms over toward me, but I take a wobbly step back.

“Don’t you touch me, Axel. Don’t you lay your hands upon me, not until you tell me what the hell I just saw.”

“I don’t need to explain anything to you. When are you going to get that?”

I reach out, and I shove at his chest, hard. “You do need to explain things to me. You owe me that.”

“I owe you nothing,” he roars.

“You killed my father. You owe me a goddamned explanation. You owe me the chance to move on without all this baggage.”

“Your fucking father was a scum bag, and he deserved what he got.”

I slap him, hard. He reels backward, and then gathers his footing and lunges towards me. His body hits mine with force, and sends me flying back into the nearby wall. Then he’s pressed against me, one hand flat on my chest, holding me there, and the other above my head, pressing to the wall.

“So help me God, Meadow, you’re walking a fine line.”

“So hurt me, Axel,” I yell. “Hurt me. Make me pay. Do whatever it is you feel the need to do. You’re not going to answer me. You’re not going to give me what I want. So go ahead. I don’t care. Show me what you are. Show me what demons eat you inside. Nothing you do will bother me. You want to be sucked off by a girl who doesn’t want it, huh? Is that what you need to make you feel good inside? Is that what I have to do to get some sort of emotion from you?”

I shove at his chest, and he takes a few steps back. Then I drop to my knees in front of him. I lash out, taking hold of his jeans and yanking them down. He grabs my hair, pulling my head back harshly. “Don’t,” he rasps.

“Try and stop me, Axel.”

He keeps a firm grip in my hair, but I fight him. I take hold of his jeans, and I pull hard, bringing his hips towards me. Then I yank them down. A pained cry leaves his lips when I wrap one hand around his cock, and I tear the condom off before beginning to stroke. The piercings graze my fingers as I move my hands with hard, determined strokes.

“Stop...” he pants.

“But you want this,” I cry, feeling tears well in my eyes. “You won’t let me have you any other way. You want me to fight. You want my mouth on your cock, and you want me to hate it, isn’t that right? Isn’t that how this works? Well, I hate it, Axel, I fucking hate it.”

Then I lower my head, and I wrap my lips around his cock, taking him deep with one movement. His pained hiss fills the room, and his hips buck, filling my mouth even further. Salty tears run down my face, and I can taste them as my head bobs up and down, swallowing him deep into the back of my throat. I choke on a sob as I wrap my fingers around the base of his cock, and begin stroking.

This is so fucked up.

So beautifully fucked up.

And I feel like I belong here, on the ground...like this...broken.

“Meadow,” he practically chokes. “Stop.”

“No,” I cry, taking him deeper, sliding my hands down to cup his firm, warm balls.

I look up, and he’s shaking his head from side to side, agony in his features. He’s hurting. This is a situation he’s been in before, and the idea of that has a mortified sob wrenching from my throat. I slide my hand back further, until I feel the soft flesh between his balls and his ass. I press in there, and his ragged cries grow louder.

“Fuck, please,” he begs, tugging my head back.

I fight against him, and keep my mouth closed over his cock while pressing my finger into that soft skin. I feel his cock swell in my mouth, and with one final press he comes, with a gush that shoots into the back of my throat. Warm salty liquid fills my mouth, and his pained bellows fill the room. Tears burn my eyes as I take all of him, and then I let him go, slumping down onto the floor.

He doesn’t look at me as he turns, and charges out of the room.

What the fuck did I just do?

Did I just break something that was already so broken?

CHAPTER 13

MEADOW

Jump my sweet, accept defeat.

My fingers tremble as I take hold of the door handle. I shove it open, and blink through the blurring in my vision. I need to find Axel. What I did back there...it was so cold...so heartless. I walk down the halls, and my head is spinning from the drugs that were clearly put in my drink earlier. I run into Jax in the hall, and his eyes are frantic. When he sees me, he storms over and grips my shoulders.

“Where the fuck is he?”

What.

“I don’t...”

“Where the fuck is Axel?”

Oh God, he’s gone.

“I don’t...know...”

“He’s gone, we’re on lockdown, and he’s gone. What the fuck happened?”