“Why? You can go on a date. You’re allowed to have a life, Summer. You’re only going to be young once. Nothing wrong with having a little fun.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me. I toss a french fry at her.

“Hey. Don’t waste those.”

“I can’t go on dates and have fun. I have Colby. He’s had enough instability in his life.”

“People date while raising kids.” She has a point, but I’m already texting Colten that I can’t make it tonight. “Hey Colt.” I jerk my head up sure Eden is messing with me. Nope. There stands Colten next to our table. Which is just my luck. Great.

“Hey Eden. How are things?” he asks her, but he’s staring down at me.

“Same ole same. You want to join us?”

I’m going to murder her. I kick her under the table.

“Sorry, I was about to text you.”

“That’s okay.” He gives me a smile as his phone starts to ring. “It’s the store. I’ve got to get this.” Then he winks at me before walking away, killing any hope that he had something to ask me about the store. It was stupid of me to think it was that to begin with.

“I want to murder you.”

“Yeah, I got that. Your whole face went pale. I don’t get it. He’s so handsome.”

“My hands are full.”

Eden’s eyes soften. “I know that, but you gotta have some you time. Go out and have fun.”

I think about Kale. As thrown off as I was in the kitchen the other night, it had all been a rush. I never felt so alive. Yet as fast as it was there it was gone again.

“I have fun with you.” I pick up a fry. I should be having more fun, but I keep thinking about what Kale might be doing. Will he notice that I left him dinner before I left? Not that he eats them anyway. Maybe he’ll miss that I’m not roaming the halls of his home rambling on or singing?

Doubtful.

“I’ve missed you too. You have to come into town more often. Are they keeping you that busy out there?”

“I’ve been settling in is all.” It’s partly true. I think part of it is because I know if I’m not there I won’t have a chance to run into Kale. I am turning into one of those girls that chases after a man. One that turned down a blowjob. I know I don’t know a lot of things, but I thought it was a fact that men rarely do that. “Do men turn down blowjobs?”

Eden almost spits out soda. “What?”

“Just a question.”

“A pretty random one. You got some good book recs or what are you reading over there?” I snort a laugh. “No, men don’t turn down blowjobs unless they are committed or not into you. Even then I still think they’d be down for one.”

I know he was into it by how hard he was for me. The way his hand had tightened in my hair and how his voice managed to get rougher had also clued me into that. Still, insecurity has me questioning myself for a moment. He’s scared of me. It’s almost laughable. I can’t bring myself to kill a bug. I’ll capture it and set it free if I find one in the house. But Kale is scared of me. It’s laughable.

Part of me thinks I should leave the man alone. Is that what he really wants? I know it’s not what I want. I can’t help myself when it comes to Kale. I want to slip into the darkness with him to have a taste of his world before I pull him into the light of mine.

It’s a bad idea. I am toying with something that might not only get me hurt but can ultimately lead to me losing the one place that’s felt like a safe haven. I should let it go. I’m just not sure I can.

13

Kale

I’m in my studio when the alarm chimes that there is someone at the gate. Summer left earlier with her brother to go meet some friends. She left me food, but I threw it in the trash. Despite saying that she was never going to cook for me again, she left me food. I threw it in the trash, but she expected that. As she was wrapping up the plate of meatloaf, she said this was the last meal she would make for me. I don’t believe her.

The security monitor shows Colby sitting in the backseat of the car. I open the gates and allow him in. Summer told me—not directly but through the monitor system—that she’d be away tonight. I didn’t like it, but short of locking her in a tower, I didn’t have much choice.

Summer talked to herself all day, but when I turned the speaker system up I realized she was addressing me. I’m not sure if she knows that I’m watching her or she did it unconsciously. It wasn’t anything important, just kind of a narration of what she was going to do, how she didn’t like to clean certain things, how she liked order, how raising Colby on her own was tough.

I think the last admission sort of slipped out because she got quiet suddenly and her face got serious.

Colby arrives at the side door. “I don’t think I can let you in. Summer says the old man we work for is real sensitive.”

Old man? I nearly choke on my saliva. Is that how she sees me? How lowering. I’m not even thirty.

“I don’t want either of you guys getting in trouble,” the woman says she leans out of the driver’s side window.

Where is Summer? The kid lets himself in and proceeds to the kitchen. He pulls out an ice cream snack I didn’t know we had and wanders through the house. I watch them for a while as he investigates the different rooms. He hasn’t found all of them yet, and since I don’t have anything really too high, I don’t stop him. I was a curious kid too. While he’s exploring, I text Tina.

Me: What’s summers cell phone no?

Tina: you aren’t going to fire her bc she went on a date

A what?

Me: what?!

Tina: oh you didn’t know? She’s on a dinner date at Len’s with Colten her old boss I guess bc she’s not an employee of his she thinks it’s ok. Maybe that’s why she came to work for you

I didn’t know I could become so angry so fast. I close the forge and pull off my fireproof gloves, tossing them onto table. Usually, I like the privacy of it, but right now I think it’s too fucking far from the garage. In the time that it takes me to cross the lawn and reach my car, Summer could have her clothes off.

I’m halfway down the drive when I remember Colby. I can’t leave the fucking kid alone. I slam the car into reverse and back up the drive, dust kicking up the entire way. I leave the car running and the door open as I leap up the front stairs.

“Colby!” I shout. Where is that kid? “Colby!”

“Yeah?” A small head pops out of the library. What do those two people like so much about that room? That’s a mystery I’ll have to solve later.

“Come on. We’re going to get your sister.”

I turn on my heel but realize he’s not following me. I spin around and bark, “Let’s go.”

“Uh, what happened to your face?” the kid asks.

In my rush to get to Summer, I forgot about my face. “None of your damn business. Move it.”

My sharp tone prods him into gear. He runs to catch up. He has to jog to match my long strides, but that doesn’t stop his mouth from moving. “You look like a Marvel villain,” he informs me.