“You look like shit,” Luca said.

Matteo nodded. “My tenth espresso and I’m still not awake. Drank too much last night.”

“You were trashed,” Luca said. “I’d have had your tongue cut out for some of the things you said to Aria if you weren’t my brother.”

Matteo grinned at me. “I hope Luca didn’t do half of the things I suggested.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. Matteo still made me nervous. He exchanged a look with Luca, who ran a thumb over my side, making me jump.

“Quite a work of art you presented us,” Matteo said with a nod toward the back of the room where the sheets were draped over a kind of coat rack for better display.

I tensed. What did he mean?

But Luca didn’t look worried, instead he shook his head. Salvatore Vitiello and my father were waving at us to join them and it would have been impolite to make them wait any longer. Father rose when we arrived at the table and wrapped me in his arms. I was surprised by this open display of affection. He touched the back of my head and whispered, “I’m proud of you.”

I gave him a forced smile when we pulled apart. Proud for what? For losing my virginity? For spreading my legs?

Salvatore put a hand on my and Luca’s shoulders, and gave us a smile. “I hope we can expect small Vitiello’s soon.”

I managed not to let my shock show. Hadn’t Luca mentioned that I was on birth control?

“I want to enjoy Aria alone for a long while. And with the Bratva closing in, I wouldn’t want to have children to worry over,” Luca said tightly. There was no word to describe how relieved I was about Luca’s words. I really wasn’t ready for children. I had already enough changes thrown my way without the added bonus of a baby.

His father nodded. “Yes, yes, of course. Understandable.”

After that they launched into a conversation about the Bratva and it became pretty clear I was dismissed. I slipped out of Luca’s grasp and walked toward the women. Gianna met me halfway. “Disgusting,” she muttered with a scowl toward the sheets.

“I know.”

I looked around, but couldn’t see Fabiano or Lily. “Where are—”

“Upstairs in their room with Umberto. Mother didn’t want them to be there for the reveal of the sheets.” She leaned in conspiratorially. “I’m so glad you’re finally here. Those women have been sharing their bloody sheet stories for hours. What the fuck is wrong with the New York Familia? If I hear one more word about it, I’m going to give them a real bloodbath.”

“Now that I’m here, I doubt they’ll be talking about anything but the bloody sheets over there,” I muttered. It turned out I was right. Almost every woman felt the need to hug me and offer me words of advice that only made me nervous. It’ll get better. Sometimes it takes a bit for a woman to be comfortable. And the best: Believe me it took me years to enjoy it.

Mother kept her distance. I wasn’t sure why. Valentina didn’t say anything as she wrapped her arms around me, just touched her palm to my cheek and smiled, before stepping back to make room for another woman. Mother stood with her hands clasped in front of her, disapproval written across her face. I was glad she wasn’t sharing stories of her wedding night with Father. I stepped toward her and she pulled me into a tight hug. Like my father she wasn’t an overly affectionate person but I was glad for her closeness. “”I wish I could have protected you from all this,” she whispered before pulling back. There was a flicker of guilt on her face. I nodded. I didn’t blame her. What could she have done? Father wouldn’t have let her talk him out of the agreement.

“Luca can’t stop watching you. You must have left quite an impression on him,” Luca’s stepmother said teasingly.

I turned to her and smiled politely. Luca probably just wanted to make sure I didn’t give away our secret by accident. From the corner of my eye, I saw the door at the back open and Lily slink in, followed by Fabiano. They’d probably used Umberto’s toilet break to get away. Gianna made a face when our brother stopped in front of the sheets.

I excused myself and walked over to them with Gianna at my heels. Mother was wrapped up in overly polite conversation with Luca’s stepmother.

“What are you doing here, you little Monster?” Gianna asked, grasping Fabiano’s shoulders.

“Why’s there blood on the sheets?” he half shouted. “Has someone been killed?”

Gianna burst into laughter while Lily looked honestly distressed by the sight of the sheets. I supposed it burst her bubble of fairy tale princes and lovemaking under the stars. The men at the table behind us also started laughing, and Fabiano’s face scrunched up in anger. Although he was only eight, he had a temper. I hoped he’d calm down soon, or he’d get in trouble once he was initiated. Gianna ruffled his hair.

“Are you going to New York with Luca?” Fabiano asked suddenly.

I bit my lip. “Yeah.”

“But I want you to come home with us.”

I blinked, trying to hide my anguish over hearing him say that. “I know.”

Lily tore her eyes away from the sheets for a moment. “Won’t you go on a honeymoon?”

“Not right now. The Russians and the Taiwanese are giving Luca trouble.”

Fabiano nodded as if he understood, and maybe he did. With every year that passed he’d learn more of the dark world he lived in.

“Stop staring at the sheets,” Gianna said in a low voice, but Lily seemed too caught up in the sight.

Her face scrunched up. “I think I’m going to be sick.” I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and steered her outside. She shook in my grip.

“Hold it back,” I ordered as we half ran out of the room, everyone’s eyes following us. We stumbled into the hall. “Where’s the bathroom?” This mansion had too many rooms.

Romero motioned us to the end of the hall and opened a door, then closed it when we were inside. I held Lily’s hair as she threw up in the toilet bowl, then made her sit down on the ground. I wiped her face with a wet towel and a bit of soap. “I still feel strange.”

“Put your head between your knees.” I crouched before her. “What’s the matter?”

She gave a small shrug.

“I’ll get you some tea.” I straightened.

“Don’t let Romero see me like this.”

“Romero isn’t…” I trailed off. Lily obviously had a crush on him. It was futile, but I could at least allow her that small fantasy, when the sight of the sheets had already distressed her so much. “I’ll keep him out,” I promised instead and slipped out of the bathroom.

Romero and Luca waited in front of it.

“Is your sister okay?” Luca asked. Was he actually concerned or only polite?

“The sheets made her queasy.”

Romero’s expression darkened. “They shouldn’t allow young girls to witness something like that. It’ll only scare them.” He glanced at Luca as if catching himself. But Luca waved dismissively. “You are right.”

“Lily needs some tea.”

“I can get it for her, and stay with her so you can return to your guests,” Romero suggested.