“Oh God,” she whispered.

I lifted her once more and carried her over to the bed where I gently put her down before I stretched out beside her. Val’s breathing was coming in harsh gasps, her eyes darting back and force as she succumbed to shock. I touched her cheeks, forcing her to look at me. “Shh, Val. It’s okay.”

“I killed him,” she croaked over and over again.

“Val, look at me.”

She did and the sorrow in her green eyes stirred emotions in me I hadn’t felt in a long time. “You did what was right. You did what you had to do to protect me. I won’t ever forget it. Never.” I stroked her cheeks, meaning every word. Despite how horrible of a husband I’d been for Valentina, she’d chosen me.

“I told you that you could trust me.”

“I know, and I do.”

“Did you get the names of the other traitors?”

I nodded. “Yes. I’m fairly sure. Enzo and a few others are taking care of the less important rats right now.”

“What…what did you do to Antonio?”

“He’s dead, Val.”

“I know, but what did you do to him?”

“If it’s any consolation for you, I focused my main attention on Raffaele. Antonio got a quicker death than any other traitor.” It wasn’t a lie. Raffaele suffered even more, but it wasn’t the truth Valentina had asked for. It was the one she deserved. She needed to be happy and I wouldn’t burden her with Antonio’s cruel death.

“Thank you.”

I regarded her pale face, her trembling lips, her wide eyes. “Val, you’re worrying me.”

Val kissed me, tasting of tears and her very own enticing sweetness. My brows pulled together, not sure what to make of her behavior. “Please,” she whispered. “Make love to me. Just today. I know you don’t love me. Pretend, just for tonight. Hold me in your arms for once.”

I had been fueled by self-hatred when I’d dealt with Antonio and Raffaele, but that was nothing in comparison to what I felt now. I deserved tenfold of the pain I’d caused them.

“God, Val,” I rasped and kissed her.

I shoved my self-hatred aside and focused on giving Val what she deserved, what I wanted to give her. For the first time, I allowed myself to take my time kissing Val, to pour my own need into her. Val softened under my touch as I caressed her shoulder, her arm and side, doing what I should have done the first time I’d taken her.

I got rid of my shirt and hugged Val to my chest, stroking her hair and kissing her face. I took my time stroking every inch of her smooth skin until I finally slipped my hand between her legs, finding her wet but not as aroused as usual. After a few minutes of kissing and caresses, Valentina was writhing beneath me and my own need called loudly to me, but I didn’t let it deter me. This wasn’t about my own desires. This was about my step toward redemption, redeeming myself toward my wife in the only way I was capable of at the moment. I undressed and molded our bodies together. I slid into Valentina slowly, watching her face closely, taking pleasure in the way her lips parted and she moaned.

I cupped her face, locking gazes before I started to move.

And this felt like a piece of my heart, which had been shattered at Carla’s death, molded together, as if I could finally let the past drop, step for step, and allow Valentina into my heart where she belonged.

She was a beautiful, kind woman, one I didn’t deserve, but I swore to myself to be a better husband, a better man for her.

“I should have made love to you before,” I rasped, and my heart lurched realizing this was exactly that. Lovemaking. I was falling for Valentina. My body and heart were unable to resist her, and I’d fought this useless battle for far too long.

During an early morning meeting with my captains—minus Tommaso who hadn’t showed up—to discuss the traitor situation, my phone rang. It was one of the men I’d sent out to check on Tommaso. “Did you find him?”

“He’s dead. We found him only in his underpants on the living room floor of his house. His wife freaked out on us.”

“Where’s she now?”

“Still in hysterics in the kitchen.”

“Take her to her parents.”

I hung up then called the doc and sent him over to take a look at the body. I knew what he’d find. I’d never asked Val to hand over the vial with poison that Antonio had given her. She must have given it to Bibiano so she could kill her husband.

Giovanni, Rocco and my Captains regarded me curiously. “Tommaso’s been found dead.”

“Did the traitors kill him?” Giovanni asked.

“We don’t know yet. Let’s postpone this meeting. We discussed the most important aspects of the matter. I need to deal with this.”

I stood and everyone did the same.

I walked out of Rocco’s office and crossed the entrance hall. Steps rang out behind me. I turned. Rocco. “Did Antonio or Raffaele reveal plans to kill someone else?”

I gritted my teeth as I considered my reply. It would cast suspicion on Bibiana if Tommaso’s death couldn’t be linked to the coup. Val would be absolutely heartbroken if something happened to Bibiana. I wouldn’t hurt her. But she’d be shunned. She’d have to leave our circles at the very least, cast out from everything she knew.

“They mentioned that they had planned to kill more loyal followers but they died before I could extract more details from them.”

Rocco frowned. I was usually good at making sure people remained alive long enough to reveal all their secrets, but yesterday had been a catastrophic day and even I wasn’t beyond failure. Hopefully that would placate him. He nodded, but his eyes remained curious.

On my way back home, the doc called, telling me what I’d suspected: Tommaso had been poisoned.

The moment I saw Val, anger rose in me. She should have confided in me before doing something this foolish. If Bibiana had acted suspicious, Tommaso might have anticipated her plan and killed her in a rage. She would have revealed Val’s involvement under duress and then I’d have to deal with Tommaso to keep Val out of the line of fire. Not that the current situation was much better.

“Valentina, I’d like to talk to you,” I gritted out and stalked into my office, glaring out of the window.

Val’s heels clicked on the floor. I turned around to her. Worry swam in her eyes. She was a clever woman. She knew something was off.

“Tommaso didn’t show up at the meeting today.”

Val actually played dumb, something that didn’t suit her at all. She tried to deny everything, which was futile. When she realized she couldn’t fool me she finally admitted to giving Bibiana the poison without a flicker of remorse. “I would do it again. I don’t regret freeing Bibi of that cruel bastard. I only regret that I had to go behind your back, but you left me no choice.”

“I left you no choice? You can’t go around killing my men!”

“He deserved it. You should have seen what he did to Bibi. You should have wanted to kill him for how he treated an innocent woman, wife or not.”

“If I killed every man in the Outfit who treated women badly, I’d be left with half of my soldiers. This is a life of brutality and cruelty, and many soldiers don’t understand that as Made Men we should protect our family from it, and not unleash our anger on them. They know I don’t approve of their actions. That’s all I can do.” It was a sad truth. I despised many of my men for how they treated their wives. In fights I usually made sure to save these men last, but I couldn’t outright kill them.