Maddoc’s eyes meet mine right as Royce whispers, “Maddoc don’t sleep.” He laughs lightly like it’s a silly superpower.

It’s not, but you can’t fault Royce for thinking so.

People who can lay their heads down and fall asleep with ease don’t understand the struggle or how bad those of us who can’t wish we could.

They don’t know what it’s like to lay awake at night and replay minutes of your life, wondering what you could or should have done differently. Or how you could be better at something or fearing what comes next. Sometimes it’s even as simple as playing a movie back in your head, anything to fill the hours.

Time is not your friend when your mind is at the point of exhaustion.

Maddoc’s eyes bounce between mine.

So, big man doesn’t normally sleep well, yet I know for a fact he did each time I’ve shared sheets with him. Something unwelcome settles in my chest so I look away.

“What’s up for today?” Royce asks and Maddoc breaks our stare.

“Shooting hoops with Richards at noon, he needs to clean up his free throws,” Maddoc tells him.

“I’m there.” Royce nods.

“I’ll come by after if you’re still out,” Captain adds.

Maddoc nods, but nobody says what “after” is referring to.

I don’t ask.

“You’re coming with us, Raven.”

I fill a plate and move for the table. “Can’t wait.” I roll my eyes.

There’s no way I’ll be able to get out alone to talk to Bass today and be able to slip out for a fight this weekend. I have no fucking choice but to give my mom the money I saved from my last two fights, which will leave me low but not completely dry. I’ll already have to pull some shit just to meet her and hand it over.

After breakfast, everyone disappears into their rooms to change and we meet back at the door a few minutes later.

Royce and Maddoc are donned in basketball shorts and tank tops – hot. As. Fuck. But Captain, he’s got a gym bag over his shoulder, yes, but he’s wearing nice jeans and a fresh white shirt. He’s sporting a fresh shave and his hair is on point, a nice little sideswipe, but the swaggy kind. Not revenge of the nerds.

“You look good.” I let my eyes trail over him, before meeting his. “Hot date?”

A small grin finds his lips. “See you later, Raven.”

I nod, not at all sure that’s a yes or a no.

When I turn to the others, I find Maddoc frowning.

“What?”

“Change.”

“Change...” I trail off and then I get it and I cross my arms. “Funny. Are we going or not?”

“We’re going.” His eyes narrow. “After you change.”

“Say it.”

“Say what?” he forces out through clenched teeth.

“Tell me what’s wrong with what I have on if you want me to change. Learn to use your words instead of that mean mug you’ve perfected, big man.”

“Fine. Your tights are outlining every inch of your calves, thighs, ass, and pussy. I don’t want my teammates, or anyone else on the courts, to know the shape of your cunt.”

Caught off guard at his bluntness, a laugh escapes me. “I...” I laugh harder and Royce joins in. “I got nothing to say back to that. They’re leggings, not tights by the way, but yeah okay. Since you did as I asked, I’ll entertain your bossiness. This time.”

I run upstairs and pull some baggy sweats over my leggings and run back down.

“Man, RaeRae.” Royce shakes his head and Maddoc curses, throwing the front door open harder than necessary as he steps out.

I raise my arms as to ask ‘what.’

“Maddoc is trippin’. It’s not what you wear, it’s how you wear it.”

He holds the door open for me to slip through. “And how do I wear it?”

“With a plump ass and a ‘fuck you too.’”

I laugh and move for the SUV calling, “Shotgun,” with a wink.

And the boy actually pouts as he climbs in.

I put my seat belt on but spin in the seat to look back at him. “Come on, Royce, don’t be a baby about it. Consider this game on for an epic battle of the throne that is, a heated leather seat in Maddoc’s ride.”

He says nothing, still seeming put out, so I face forward again.

Maddoc keeps side glancing me, but I pretend not to notice.

He wants to know what I’m thinking, to confirm if I’m as perceptive as he assumes. I am, and now the front seat doesn’t feel so good.

Maddoc climbs out right away and heads straight for the guys waiting – something tells me it was purposeful.

I unbuckle and climb over the center console, dropping next to Royce as he ties his shoe.

He glances at me quickly. “What’s up, RaeRae, ready to watch us drive on these fools?”

“Royce.”

“Hmm?” He drops his foot and looks up, and when he does his features tighten a bit.

“You don’t like being alone.”

He opens his mouth, but clamps it shut and looks out the front windshield. “I like it ‘bout as much as you do.”

My head draws back. “I don’t mind it.”

He scoffs and glares my way. “Come on, Raven. You’re used to it, sure, you don’t mind it, fine. But do you like it?” He climbs out, looking back at me quickly. “No. You don’t. And it’s a lie if you tell yourself different.” And then the door slams.

With a sigh, I lay across the back seat ‘cause fuck this shit now.

He’s half wrong. I never minded being alone, but that was before I knew what having someone there looked like. And stupid me, I’m accidentally starting to like it.

A couple hours pass before Captain’s SUV pulls up beside this one.

I quickly shove open my door and knock on his passenger one before he can even shut off the engine.

The lock pops and I climb inside.

“What’s up, Raven?” He rubs his hand over his eyebrow, and I note the defeated look in his eyes.

While I do want to know what happened, I have to be selfish right now.

“I need a ride.”

His posture stiffens, and he eyes me a moment before it hits him. “Raven ...” He starts to shake his head, but I shift toward him.

“Look, it’s either one of you takes me or I blow this bitch and things go down a helluva allot differently. Say no all you want, but that’ll only be your words. Not my actions.”

“Why you doin’ this?”

“I have to.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not talking about where you’re wanting to go or why. I mean, why you doing this, coming to me when you know you should be talking to Maddoc right now.”

“What difference does it make?” I grow defensive and he frowns.

“Raven, you need to stop acting like the two of you aren’t happening.”

Unease stirs in my stomach and I glare. I ignore his direct comment and fire back with a different truth. “You think I want any of you, let alone Maddoc, anywhere near my mother? She’s fucking cancer, Captain, a damn contagious kind if such a thing exists. She’s literally toxic. Maddoc will ask questions, demand answers and likely hand her her own ass. I need someone who will let me handle her.”