When I slowly open my eyes, the black spots are still dancing in my vision and now everything in front of me is blurry. My heart is beating so fast I’m afraid it might explode. I need to calm the fuck down. Freaking out isn’t going to make this any better.

The tingling in my hands and arms has gotten worse and when I lift one hand from the table to try and shake the feeling away, I feel my body start to list to the side. I quickly grab the table again, holding onto it for dear life. My hands start shaking so hard against the table that I hear packages of cookies and paper cups filled with juice start to bounce around on top. The black spots at the edge of my vision have turned into bright bursts of light that make my head feel like it’s in a vice.

“Ma’am, are you alright?”

I hear a voice speaking next to me, but I can’t make any words form to answer whoever it is. This isn’t normal and I know immediately that something is seriously wrong with me.

My heart beats faster and faster and I break out in a cold sweat. I can feel every inch of my body shaking and I grit my teeth to try and make it stop. I look around frantically, opening my mouth to try and scream for someone to help, but the blurry shapes in front of me suddenly swirl and the world tilts on its axis. I feel myself falling and then everything around me goes black.

Fucking woman. She’s going to be the goddamn death of me.

Today was supposed to be a nice, carefree day. One where I could wander through the park, try my hand at a few carnival games to win some prizes for my nieces and nephews, maybe give some oxygen to a few old folks who got overheated and avoid thinking about the shit storm brewing around me. I just wanted one day where my dick wasn’t fighting with my brain over the maddening woman standing fifty feet in front of me, smiling at some douchebag.

Fucking smiling when all she does is snarl at me like a pit bull.

I don’t know who the dude is since all I can see is his back, but I immediately hate the cocksucker for making her laugh. Plus, he’s got a kid. I can’t compete with a cute motherfucking kid. I didn’t even know Phina liked kids. Obviously, she saves her hatred just for me. I came here today wanting to take my mind off of this annoying woman who clearly wants to fuck me, but doesn’t want to speak to me or even like me. I figured it was just a case of lust roaring through my veins and it would go away eventually. It’s not like I thought she had any redeeming fucking qualities. She’s full of piss and vinegar, won’t let anyone close to her aside from Finnley and enjoys pissing me off, going by the extra wide smile she shoots in my direction as she heads towards the truck parked behind my rig when she’s finished talking to the dickhead dad.

I just HAD to go and act like a creepy fucking stalker, following her around all morning and watching her work from a safe enough distance that she couldn’t see me, but I could see and hear everything she said and did.

Seraphina Giordano is sweet. Not just sweet, but kind and thoughtful with a sense of humor. She made funny faces and told silly jokes to every kid who came up to her tent, she charmed every old man who volunteered to give blood and gave hugs to every woman who picked up a pamphlet from her table. When a particularly nervous little boy stood off to the side and watched through the open door of the donation truck as his mother gave blood, Phina pulled him closer, got down to his level and softly explained everything her co-worker was doing to his mother so he wouldn’t be afraid of what was happening to her. Ten minutes after they left the area, the little boy came running back with a fistful of dandelions he’d picked from the grass and thrust them into Phina’s hands. She made a huge production out of smelling the flowers and telling him they were the most beautiful things she’d ever seen, before bending down and giving him a big kiss on the cheek.

Who the fuck IS this woman?

Thank God Collin and Finnley weren’t around to witness my pathetic behavior. As soon as they got here this morning, I sent them on their way to check out the tents and get some food, telling them I had work to do and would meet up with them later. They didn’t need to know that my ‘work’ including figuring out the maddening woman walking towards me.

I continue to glare at her as she puts a little extra sway in her hips while she goes up the steps of the truck and disappears inside. Glancing back to the spot where she stood with that motherfucker and his kid, I see they’ve disappeared into the crowd and I’ve lost my chance to find out who he is. Jesus, I really am a fucking stalker. What the hell was I going to do, walk up to him and threaten him in front of his daughter? “Hey, dick fuck, I don’t know you, but you’re never allowed to make that woman smile again. That smile is for me, and me alone.”

I’ve lost my goddamn mind.

My crazy thoughts are interrupted by a little boy with a splinter in his thumb, a man who thought he was having a heart attack, which thankfully turned out to be indigestion from one too many chili dogs, and at least ten people asking me for directions. Before I know it, an hour has gone by and I hear the swoosh of the truck door parked behind me opening. I watch as Phina steps down from the truck, smiles and waves at the nurse standing on the bottom step and walks over to the cookie and juice table they have set up right next to the truck. She places her hands on top of the table and drops her head between her shoulders. I’ve been keeping an eye on everyone giving platelet donations today and, for the most part, everyone reacts the same. They’re a little off-kilter for a few minutes and then they’re fine. I see Phina lift one hand from the table and can see it shaking erratically from here.