He’s aching on the inside, and it’s vibrating through his very being, and for some reason, this boy in front of me feels the need to hide it. To hide himself. Hide from himself behind these people who could never truly love him because they don’t know him like I do.

He’s a fraud in his own skin.

He’s going to make this hurt.

I can see it in his lonely, broken boy eyes.

I guess this is where it all falls apart.

The saying goes nothing lasts forever, but that saying is a damn lie, because pain does.

Pain lasts a lifetime.

Here comes mine.

Royce

“I don’t know why you’re here when you’re not wanted or allowed,” I force out. “Leave.”

Her shoulders fall, but she keeps that little lift of her mouth in place. “I can’t. Not until you talk to me.”

“I’ve got nothing to say to you. If I did, I’d have called you. I didn’t.” I force myself a step back.

Goddamn it, she’s close.

Too close.

Not close enough.

Before I realize it, I’m reaching for her, but I sloppily pull back, growling as I spin away from her. “I said go. Group home girls aren’t allowed here.”

“Good thing I’m far from one of those.”

“Not anymore.” I spit onto the floor, glancing over my shoulder. “You’re as worthless here as you were where you came from. They had no use for you, and neither do I.”

Fucking kill me.

My insides burn as if someone shot me with a syringe full of their best cut venom, but still I add, “Go back to your aunt, you’re no longer wanted here.” I barely get the last few words out before I’m forced to swallow the vomit beginning to rise.

My veins burn, my throat’s closing, but it’s nothing compared to the jagged blade slicing down my torso at her next words.

“Your hand did some damage.”

My palm flies to my ribs, holding them in place, fighting the sting, soothing the ache. I plant my fucking feet, steel my trembling jaw, and force myself to spin, to face my demon head-on—the marking on my girl’s left temple.

My shoulders fall, the weakness in me showing itself to the one girl I wish I was strong for.

“B—”

“I only said that to get your attention,” she rushes out. “I... lost my sight. ”

Her words are making no sense to me, and mine are a harsh lie. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

“I’m trying to tell you this wasn’t your fault. I’m going blind, Royce. I blacked out,” she whispers, and my mind screams, my head spinning, fighting to understand past the alcohol swimming in my veins.

Is she lying so I’ll give in?

I can’t give in, especially if this is true.

Bass said she’d fall into darkness in our world. Did he mean it literally and I was too much of a dick to realize this?

Will she really lose her ability to see when she’s spent the last four years seeing nothing at all?

Four years wasted. Her spirit dimming with her sight.

She shifts closer, and her nearness burns as much as the distance had. “This wasn’t your fault,” she affirms. “But the hurt that followed when I watched you walk away, that was.”

Cause I’m a piece of shit.

And I’m about to become an even bigger one.

I draw up another rancid laugh and this one damn near knocks me on my ass. “You say this shit, tell your little lies, like I’m supposed to care. Newsflash. I don’t. Not about how you feel, not about what you’re going through, not about you.”

Lie, lie, fucking painful ass lie.

Silence, cold and dark, threatens to swallow us.

I should let it, but don’t know how.

I tell myself to walk away, but my feet refuse to move, so fuck it. I get in her face.

“I should take you right here, right now, give you a little goodbye present so I can send you on your way. We both know I don’t have to like you to fuck you.”

“No,” she whispers, her hand coming up to touch my chest, but I jerk away. “You don’t, but you would have to love me to take my virginity like you did, because Royce Brayshaw doesn’t touch virgins otherwise.”

I try to speak, to snap back, but my throat’s officially clogged.

My Brielle.

My baby.

She can never be mine. I’ll destroy her.

Proof is the angry red mark staring back at me.

“Call me a fool,” I whisper hatefully. “‘Cause what a rookie mistake that was. Now look at you, standing here expecting more, like you’re special. Like you weren’t just a body to be played with, for me to fuck the second I decided I wanted to... and you gave, didn’t you? Right when I said go, just like the rest of them.”

She runs her tongue over her teeth, flicking her eyes away to conceal her hurt briefly only to bring them right back.

Pure agony burns in my gut, melts my defenses, and threatens to swallow my resolve.

I want to tell her that I didn’t fuck her, that I worship her body, want to treat it like a fucking temple, bring her as close to the stars as I can, knowing how much she loves the sight of them. How I want to set us both aflame, over and over and over again. And then do it again, but I can’t say any of that, because I’m bad for her.

Bad, period.

Everyone knows it, so she must too, right?

Realize that girls rope me in because they want to fuck me, ‘cause I’m the disposable asshole who can make them feel good for a night or two, but that’s it. They keep Cap. They want Maddoc, they settle for me.

Nobody wants to keep me.

The fuckup.

The bad guy with bad intentions.

Do what you do best, Royce. Push, but you better push fucking hard, ‘cause if she comes to you, it’s over. Settled.

And way too fucking selfish.

“Come on now, little Bishop. Don’t stand there looking so helpless. You had to know what was happening here. We talked about what playing dumb makes you look like.”

Her chest begins to rise and fall in short pants, her lungs refusing to share the same air as me, the bastard who hurt her. Who is hurting her now.

“I know what you’re doing,” she rasps. “And you can kiss my ass if you think this will work, but go ahead, Playboy. Break me if you dare.”

Her big, turquoise eyes holding mine and waiting for more bile to make its way up and out.

I force myself not to look away, not to flinch. “I needed to catch Coach Von in the act.” My shoulder lifts, but I hardly feel the move. “He had it coming after everything with Enoch and his girl, the girls he likely hurt before her. Took longer than I thought, but you finally did something useful, fell right in. I mean, come on, you’re so desperate to feel wanted you even volunteered for the dirty little role.”

A fucking knife, right through the heart.

Her face caves, a sharp huff pushing past her nostrils.

“Royce,” Captain snaps.

I ignore him, frowning at her, but I’m not really looking at her, I can’t.

I focus on my peripheral.

“You were nothing but a game piece, one I had to track, bring in, and mold into the perfect little part. And it worked. Why you think I tested you out first?” I force a foul fuckin’ laugh, welcoming the rotten taste in my throat. “Why you think I put molly in your drink the first night here? To see how much work I had to put in to blind you. I was shootin’ for figuratively, but man, maybe I’m better than I thought, yeah, since you ‘lost your sight’?” I speak as mocking as I can muster, tip my head, and wish for a fucking sword to chop it from my body. “But it took a whole lot of work, didn’t it?”