There was so much suffering in his voice and I want to tell him that that probably isn’t the case, that I’m sure his mother is okay and that his father had nothing to do with it. But we’d both know I was lying because there’s a good chance that might be the case, considering all the horrible things Stephan has done.

“There’s this rock at the back of the castle that hides a secret entryway to the basement,” he tells me in a state of self-torture. “Laylen should be able to lift the rock up so you guys can get in… no one knows it’s there but me.” He hands me the Sword of Immortality. “And this will hopefully protect you if you run into my father.”

I take the sword from him, feeling the heavy weight of it. “You’re giving me something that might kill your father?”

He shrugs, his eyes swimming in a sea of pain. “I want you to be able to protect yourself—you’re what’s most important.” He pauses. “But can you promise me something? That if anything happens at all, if anything even remotely bad looks like it will happen, you’ll come right back.”

I place the sword on the floor beside my feet. “Alex, I can’t—”

He places a hand over my mouth like I did to him earlier. “I know you feel like you need to save her. And I completely understand that. But you also need to understand that you might be the one person who can save the world. So if it all comes down to it, you’re going to have to save yourself.” I know there is more to it than that, but he isn’t going to say it.

So I nod, giving him what he wants, even though it’s not the truth. “Okay, I promise.”

He lowers his hand from my lips and starts tapping his foot against the floor. “I should be the one going with you.”

“No, you shouldn’t. Aislin needs you. I—I didn’t know that about your mother. No one should be alone in the world.”

It gets quiet and my thoughts drift back to my old life filled with loneliness and desolation. All those years with no one. All those years feeling empty. All those years where I didn’t know there was so much more to life. Heartache. Longing. Happiness. Sadness. God, there’s so much more. And as dangerous as my new life is, I would never trade it back. I never want to go back to that ever. I just hope I get the chance to live life without the star.

“Gemma,” Alex says almost as if he’s in pain as he slants toward me. “I can’t help myself… when it comes to you and putting you in harm’s way it’s like I have to fight this desperate compulsion to save you. It’s why I gave you the locket, why I tried to run from my father, why I intercepted the memoria extracto, why I stabbed myself with a needle and killed myself to bring you back. I know you erased the last part, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

I want to point out that now he’s remembering things that never technically happened again, but he silences me with a brush of his lips. It starts out innocent, but when my hands slide up the front of his lean chest, he grabs onto my h*ps as his tongue slides deep into my mouth and he lays me back on the bed. He tastes like mint and smells like cologne, his body bringing me warmth as it covers mine. My back arches into him as my insides quiver with need. I feel out of control in a forbidden way.

“Alex,” I say breathlessly as his hand travels up my shirt toward my breast. “We have to stop… it’s becoming too… too…” I groan as his hand wanders under my bra and he pinches my nipple. “Much…”

“I know.” He groans against my mouth as he cups my breast. “But it’s so f**king hard.” His body falls between my legs and I grind up against him.

“But we’re going to end up killing each other…” Another grind of my h*ps and then another. God, I’d almost take being dead just to feel this one more time. “If we don’t stop…” I know what I am putting out there, that we were heading toward feelings of love. It is a blunt move on my part, but it gets him to stop.

He pushes back, looking down at me, an arm on each side of my head. “I know.” His brow’s furrow at his own words. Then he gets up and leaves the room as if nothing happened.

***

Everyone decides it’s best to clear out the Praesidium for the moment, so that I can foresee in the privacy of the house. Alex takes care of it while I head for the living room. Laylen gives me a wary look when I walk out into the living room, carrying the Sword of Immortality, as if I might do something stupid like trip over my feet and stab him.

“You sure you should be carrying that?” he questions with amusement and a bit of fear. He’s changed his clothes, but is still wearing his typical black jeans and shirt, studded belt and leather wrist band, and boots.

“I promise I’ll be super careful,” I say with as much humor as I can muster up. “And try not to stab you.”

“Gee thanks,” he teases, nudging me with his shoulder, seeming more at ease then he did at Stasha’s house.

I smile at him and start to shut my eyes, telling my heart to calm down as I get ready to foresee us out of here

“Wait!”

My eyes open as Aislin comes running into the room and stops in front of me. “I have something for you to help you see in the dark.”

I think she’s going to give me a flashlight or a lantern, but instead she whispers, “Iuvo vos animadverto,” under her breath, then she puts her hand in front of her mouth and blows something sparkly in my face.

I drop the sword on the ground in reaction and press my hands against my eyes. “Oh my God! What the hell was that?”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. I probably should have warned you first,” Aislin apologizes. “I was just so excited that I finally figured out how to do the spell correctly.”

I rub my eyes and blink against the burning sensation. “Okay, what spell was it though?”

She beams. “Night vision.” She dusts her hands off. “So you don’t have to stumble around in the dark blindly when you get to the castle.”

“What about Laylen?” I ask, picking up the sword from off the floor.

“He doesn’t need it,” she tells me, giving Laylen a once over, looking at him in a way that I look at Alex sometimes and I remember how she told me they use to date. I wonder if she still has feelings for him? “He already has night vision.”

Laylen doesn’t reciprocate the look, I think still carrying around too much pain from her abandoning him in his time of need. “We should go,” he says and Aislin looks hurt. “Are you sure you’re going to be okay with this thing?” he asks, nodding at the sword. “It just about landed on my foot.”

I thread my fingers through Laylen’s and take a deep breath. “I’ve got this. Trust me.” I actually sound confident, although I don’t feel that way.

I don’t bother looking at Alex, knowing it’ll make it harder to leave. But I can feel him watching me from across the room, arms folded, as he sinks into the shadows. Then I shut my eyes and do what I need to do. I picture the lake, the forest circling it, the grey-stone castle in the background. And then suddenly I’m falling with Laylen by my side.

Chapter 13

I manage to land without falling, but that might be because I use Laylen’s arm for support. Once we’re both settled on the ground out in the forest just a little ways from the castle, I glance up at the sky. The full moon shines vividly, silver speckles of stars and the darkness surrounds us, but I can see as clearly as if it were day.

“Amazing,” I say, touching the corner of my eye.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Laylen states, playfully prodding me in the side.

I nod, lowering my hand. Silence encloses us and for a moment we just stare at each other, feelings connected to the bite attempting to fight to the surface. We’re alone.

“We should get going,” I finally say.

He nods, unable to take his eyes off me. “Yeah, we should.”

I nod again and then start hiking through the trees toward the castle and Laylen follows my lead. Twigs and leaves crunch under our shoes, the cool air nips at my skin, and the silence is driving me mad.

“Why did you go to Stasha’s?” I ask, attempting to break the silence. “She doesn’t seem like a very good person.”

“Yeah, but neither am I.”

“Don’t say that,” I tell him. “You’re a good person. You’re here with me and you don’t have to be.”

His expression is guarded. “Maybe I have an alternative motive.” His gaze flicks to my neck where my pulse is throbbing.

“Don’t do that,” I say. “Don’t pretend you’re bad because you think everyone thinks you are.”

He gives me a hard look but then sighs. “I was standing outside of the Red Dragon, debating whether I wanted to go in or not, when Stasha showed up out of the blue. I think she hangs out there sometimes, but she didn’t want to admit it, so she pretended to be wandering around the area. She asked me if I wanted to go back to her house and I went with her because the only other option I had was going inside the Red Dragon.”

I zip up my jacket. “Well, I’m glad you left with her then, even if she is a lunatic.”

He chuckles and for a split second, some of his pain alleviates. “That she is.”

“You know, Aislin was upset the whole time you were gone,” I tell him. “She cried a lot.”

“Aislin always cries,” Laylen says, shoving a branch blocking his path. “She’s been that way forever.”

“Yeah, I know, but she still cares about you. I can tell.”

“I know.”

“Have you… Have you ever thought about forgiving her?”

He shakes his head. “I’m not ready to do that yet.”

I nod. “Okay, I understand.”

“What about you? Did you cry while I was gone?” he asks it so casually, but his tone portrays the mere opposite. Tension builds and the vein on my neck throbs. I can’t help but think about what it feels like when he sinks his fangs into my skin… drinks my blood… sheer ecstasy.

“Oh, yeah, I cried until my tears ran out,” I joke, trying to break the tension. “In fact, I locked myself in my room and refused to leave until someone found you.”

He’s reluctant at first to go with the joke but gives in and smiles. “I knew you secretly had feelings for me. I’m glad you finally admitted it.”

I laugh and he swings his arm around me, pulling me close to him. “Honestly, I could be okay with this.” He brushes his lips across the top of my forehead, spreading heat to my toes, but a different kind of heat than Alex’s touch brings. What that means, though, I have no idea. “Just you and me.”

Part of me agrees with him that I could stay like this forever. Just Laylen and me. No electricity reminding me of what I was and what I could never be. No worry about falling in love with someone that could lead to my death and his. Life would be simpler if I just fell in love with Laylen and he loved me back. The problem is, though, I know from the silence on the back of my neck that it isn’t happening, at least not at this moment.

As we reach the edge of the forest, Laylen steers us behind a large oak tree as the lights glowing from the castle windows light up the dark. “Okay, we’re probably just going to have to make a run for the back.” He peeks around the corner of the tree trunk and out into the area in front of the castle, which is a long, wide, stretch of grass, where anyone can see us if they’re looking out. “I don’t see anyone outside… And I think I see the rock Alex was talking about.” He looks over his shoulder at me. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? Because I can just do it. It might be better for you to stay here.”

I shake my head. “No way. She’s my mom and this is my thing. I need to do this. Everyone’s always taking care of me and protecting me all the time and I’m getting tired of it. Besides,” I raise the sword, “I have this.”

He inches back from the sharp tip of the blade. “Alright, then let’s go.”

We charge out from the trees and race across the dewy grass toward the castle. I trip over a rock, but catch myself, but Laylen takes that as a cue that I need help. He grabs me by the arm and effortlessly lifts me up and throws me onto his back.

“I should have done this in the first place,” he says, then speeds up so fast that everything becomes blurry and incoherent. I try to keep the sword away from him for the rest of the journey, holding my breath for most of the way and only breathe freely again when he stops and sets me back down on the ground in front of a gigantic rock.

“I’m guessing this is it,” Laylen says, then presses his hands to the rock and easily shoves it aside. Beneath it is a hole burrowing deep into the ground. Even with my night vision, I can’t see the bottom.

“How far of a drop is it?” I wonder, leaning over cautiously and peering down into it.

He shrugs. “There’s only one way to find out.” Then without warning, he jumps down into it.

“Laylen,” I hiss, kneeling down by the edge. “Are you okay?”

“Go ahead and jump,” he calls out. “It’s not too far and I’ll catch you.”

I glance back at the castle and the trees, then slide my legs into the hole. Without any hesitation, I jump in, knowing if I dither, I’ll psych myself out. Gripping onto the sword handle, I fall into the darkness, but not for too long and then I’m safe in Laylen’s arms.

“Holy shit,” I breathe against his chest as I clasp my arms tightly around his neck and squeeze my legs against his hips. “That was nerve racking.”