I ground my jaw as I tried to figure out how to end it. I miss you? This is killing me? I’m sorry for not being the guy need?

Instead, I just stuttered, “Okay, yeah . . . see—uh . . . see you.”

Walking back into the waiting room, I saw Kash was out of Rachel’s room and sitting next to his work partner, and went over to introduce myself. I didn’t like that my sister had gotten engaged without me ever meeting the guy, and I really didn’t like that he’d been keeping the fact that he was an undercover cop from her, but I knew for Rachel’s sake I needed to try to be nice. I cleared my throat when I stepped up to him, and when he looked up at me, I had to clear it again to make sure I’d be okay to speak after the message I’d just left.

“Eli Jenkins,” I said as I offered my hand. “Thank you for saving her. She’s always been like a sister.” Kash didn’t respond. “You’re her fiancé, right?”

Pain covered his face, but he still didn’t respond.

Dropping my hand, I took a step back. “I’m sure it’s been a long day for you. We can talk later. I just wanted to say thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I would do anything for her.” He licked his lips and his eyes darted to her door. “Watch out for her, okay?”

For some reason, I knew he didn’t mean right now. And while I didn’t know what had just happened in that room, I knew it hadn’t been good. Nodding, I walked quickly into Rachel’s room to see her straining to keep her cries silent.

“Are you hurting?” I asked as I went to the chair near her bed.

She nodded before shaking her head. “I don’t need pain medicine . . . I need the other half of my soul back.”

I shakily sat in the chair and grabbed her hand. She tightened both hands around mine as I sat there staring at nothing.

My soul.

The ache in my chest and body somehow grew, and I knew—I knew then what I’d lost.

I hadn’t just lost my wingman and best friend . . . I’d lost the only girl who could touch my soul.

September 7, 2013

Paisley

RELAXING INTO BRETT’S side as we walked out of the theater, I smiled up at him as he talked about the movie we’d just seen. I could listen to him talk all day about anything. His green eyes and full lips were always extremely expressive—the British accent was just the cherry on top.

He’d moved to the United States to go to college, and had never left—now staying here on a worker’s visa. Not even a foot taller than me, with lean muscles compared to Eli’s bulky build, and a little bit of a hipster edge to the way he dressed—he was Eli’s complete opposite. And I thanked God that not one thing about Brett reminded me of him.

“So . . .”

I raised an eyebrow and giggled against his lips when he stole a kiss. “So?”

“What next, birthday girl?”

“Oh, so you didn’t have this whole day planned?” I teased.

“I did.” I made a face and rolled my eyes. “I do!” he reiterated on a laugh. “But if there was something you wanted to do first, then I want to make that happen. My plans for you can wait.”

“Really?” I skipped a step in front of him and turned so I was in his arms and walking backward. “And what do your plans include?”

“Your apartment.”

“Mine?”

He nodded. “And us.”

“Generally a good thing not to be alone on my birthday.”

Brett smiled and pressed his lips softly against mine. “And something else I can’t tell you about yet.”

“Seriously?” I asked when I pulled away.

“Yes, seriously. I can’t give away all my secrets yet.”

I narrowed my eyes and he did the same. “Fine! Fine, take me to my apartment. I want to see what you have planned for us, and there’s really nothing else I want to do today.”

He smiled and turned to pull me toward the parking lot.

The entire way back I tried to guess what it was, or what we might be doing. Some of my guesses earned me an eye roll, others loud laughs, and the rest heated stares that seemed to change the air between us in his car. But apparently, I was still way off.

“Yes, Paisley, clothes are staying on,” he repeated again as I pushed my key into the lock. “But keep bringing some of that up, and I’ll have to reconsider.”

I sent him a teasing grin as I opened the door. I’d known whatever he wanted to do here had nothing to do with our clothes since we’d both talked about trying to go slow with our relationship. But the way his green eyes darkened when I’d mention it was quickly becoming one of my favorite things, and it was hard not to keep bringing it up to see that reaction out of him.

“Happy birthday!”

I screamed and jumped back into Brett’s arms when the shouts from my friends nearly gave me a heart attack—and almost made me pee myself if I’m being honest.

He wrapped an arm around my waist and pushed me forward when I hadn’t moved. Bending down so his lips were next to my ear, he whispered, “Happy birthday, Paisley.”

Goose bumps covered my arms from the way his low voice curled around my name, and I looked up to kiss his jaw before stepping away into the waiting arms of my friends.

I was hugged, kissed on the cheek, and picked up dozens of times. But my eyes had never stopped moving—had never stopped looking for a tall guy built like a god, with short blond hair and perfect blue eyes. Even as I looked for him, I somehow knew he wouldn’t be there, though. Not just because we hadn’t talked in over a week, but I was sure my body would know when he was close again.

Looking over to Kristen and Jason in silent question as Brett pulled me into his arms again, both shook their heads faintly, and I nodded mine in acknowledgment.

“Surprise?” Brett offered.

I pushed on his stomach before wrapping my arms around his waist. “I guessed this.”

“Well, of course you did. But it’s not like I could just tell you. That would have ruined the best reaction I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh God, I don’t even want to know what I looked like.”

“Adorable.”

“Charmer?”

His lips tilted up in the most perfect crooked smile. “Absolutely.”

“Thank you for this.”

He jerked his head toward my living room. “Come on, let’s enjoy your day, shall we?”

“HE HASN’T EVEN called you?” Kristen asked hours later. “It’s your birthday. I just don’t see him being like this,” she mumbled mostly to herself.

Everyone except Brett, Kristen, and Jason had just left; and before I could question them about the obvious missing guest once Brett was in the bathroom, Jason brought him up.

I sighed as I grabbed a cupcake out of the container and started tearing off the top. “Oh well.”

“Has he said anything to you, babe?” Kristen asked.

Jason shrugged. “He’s been quiet. Not talking to anyone really. His door is usually shut, but he didn’t show up again yesterday. I tried calling him early this morning about your party—it went straight to voice mail.”

An uneasy feeling unfurled in my stomach, and apparently Kristen’s too. “Should we be worried about him?” she asked as she tried to conceal her fear.