I hope I’m not crossing the line when I tell you your ex has lost it. What was she thinking trying to use you as a reference? If you two had gotten off on good terms, I would understand, but from the little you told me, that doesn’t seem like the case.

For the record, I’ve been a female for twenty-three years and I still don’t understand myself half the time. Good luck.

Hope you’re okay.

-Ruby

From: [email protected]

Date: November 9, 2008 2:51 p.m.

To: [email protected]

Subject: Yes

Ruby,

Sorry for the delay again. We had another blackout. It’s been a rough week.

I think we’re good to say we can talk about body… stuff at this point. :]

I’ve got peeing into water bottles mastered. I could teach a class on doing it without standing up. Winters in Afghanistan are no joke, your brother was right. You don’t roll out of your warm cot to pee outside there.

You and your costumes. Some of us watched The Dark Knight and I caught myself looking at what all the actors wore. I’m blaming you.

#4 is more than twenty years younger than your mom? Your dad has got to be jealous. I would. She must be a hell of a woman.

Good call on him not letting your sister have any. I bet they drug test her, right? I haven’t had special brownies since high school. If your brother brings some for Christmas, I’ll have to live through you. Record it. I wouldn’t call the cops on you.

Don’t apologize about my birth mom. She hasn’t been in my life for twenty years.

I have two best friends. The one I mentioned I’ve known since seventh grade, that’s about eighteen years. My other best friend, I met freshman year of high school.

I haven’t heard of The Cloud Collision, but I like the name.

I know what cosplay is. Which characters did you do? I’ve always wanted to go to one of the big conventions they have. Why did you start taking aikido classes? The only kind of festivals I’ve ever been to have been music ones… remember the stepping in crap accident… but I’ve only been to two, and one was in Germany. It was… wild.

I don’t know what my ex was on writing me that. She has other people she could ask… I don’t get it. You ever had any exes do stupid stuff like that? Say yes, I wouldn’t mind knowing someone else has had it worse than me sometimes. Every girl I’ve ever dated has been the devil. My best friend says I’m a magnet for the crazy ones and liars.

Hope you’re all right.

-Aaron

From: [email protected]

Date: November 10, 2008 12:05 a.m.

To: [email protected]

Subject: Hi

Aaron,

I’m sorry about the blackout. I hope it wasn’t someone you know again.

What’s your tent situation like? My brother told me once, and this was a years ago when everyone was in the Middle East, that a lot of reservists who were stationed where he was had to sleep outside because there wasn’t enough room. He’d complain about how bad the mosquitoes and the mice were. Yuck. I just picture them crawling all over you while you’re sleeping on the floor.

I’m stupidly pleased at you appreciating the wardrobe for Batman. I remember reading the designer had to make her own material for the suit. It’s dorky, but I think that is so mind-blowing. I like movies where I can enjoy those details.

My mom is a hell of a woman. I’ll send you a picture as long as you promise not to become my new stepdad. I like #4.

Lol! I’ll have my phone on me Thanksgiving Day just in case anything goes down worth recording. I’m sure it will. To answer your question about drug testing, yes, my little sister does get tested. She’s paranoid and only takes aspirin and basic antibiotics whenever she gets sick.

So are all three of you BFFs? What do they do?

I love cosplay. I’ve done a lot of costumes, but my favorites were during my Fifth Element phase. Have you seen it? I’ve always wanted to go to the big conventions too! I’ve only been to local ones. The only reason why I started taking aikido was because I was bored and this gym by my mom’s house was having a New Years’ deal. I got my older sister to do it with me, but she quit after a few months. I’ve never been into sports; if I see a ball anywhere close by, I’m going to turn around and walk the other way, but I like martial arts.

Aren’t those festivals in Germany insane and just packed with people? How long was your tour there?

How long were you and your ex together?

^^ You don’t have to answer that. As for you being a magnet for crazy girls and liars, I don’t want to say you only have yourself to blame, but you’re the one who decided to date them, right? :) I’m messing with you. Kind of. I’d think you were full of crap about the kind of women you attract, but my oldest brother is the same way. My older sister says he gets all the “batshit crazy” ones, and it’s true. He’s had his car keyed three times by three different women. My niece’s mom is the devil. He’s had stalkers. You guys either like the crazy or need a new radar.