Fuck.

She wanted me as badly as I wanted her and the waiting was driving us both crazy.

It would take one good yank of my hands to break the three loops of chains. My arms tensed, preparing to release myself, so I could pin her beneath me. But I swallowed the need. Right now, there existed an equality between us. Zel believed she was safer and in turn might let me do more things to her than if she feared for her life the entire time.

I knew no matter what happened, I would sooner kill myself than her. My self-control would prevail. It had to.

Raising my eyes to lock with hers, I murmured, “I want to lick you.”

Her eyes flared wide; her toned tummy tightened.

When she didn’t move, I cocked my head. “Let me taste you, and I’ll gladly let you touch my back. But I’m not going anywhere until you obey me. Come here.”

She shook her head, a blush covering her cheeks. “I can’t. How would you—”

Logistics seemed simple to me. “You have to sit on my face, Zel.” I couldn’t stop the small smile and the thrill in my stomach at the thought of her presenting herself to me. She’d have to willing expose herself and hold herself in place while I pleasured her.

“Move. Now. I won’t ask again.”

The order in my voice made her slowly slink up the bed, eyes filling with shyness. Her body heat scorched mine, but she carefully avoided all contact. When her knees were parallel to my shoulders, she looked at me. “I can’t. It’s just—too graphic.”

“You want to touch me. I want to taste you. Straddle my mouth, Hazel.”

Her eyes snapped closed before a hesitant leg branched out and she positioned herself above me.

She towered above me, looking like my ruler, my queen. Her br**sts sat perky and perfect while the contours of her stomach guided me to the sweetest looking pu**y I’d ever seen.

My voice thickened and my c**k jerked, expelling a small bead of pr**cum, desperately needing more.

“You look f**king stunning.” I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her pink flesh or her toned thighs, keeping her hovering just out of reach.

Her skin was flushed and she jumped a mile as I quickly stretched up and lassoed my bound hands up over her head, letting my forearms rest on her thighs, imprisoning her.

Her eyes flashed with trepidation as she reared back, ready to fight.

I pressed down, forcing her legs to splay, closer and closer to my face. “I promise I won’t hurt you.” My voice rang with brusque sincerity. “Please. Trust me.”

It took a moment, but her legs relaxed and she closed her eyes. Obeying, but not believing.

I licked my lips, putting possessive pressure on her h*ps with my forearms. She allowed me to pull her down. Down and down until her legs spread to deliver her wetness to my tongue.

The moment her heat touched my mouth, I forgot who I f**king was. I forgot my name, my family, my past, my trials. I was completely f**king hers through and through.

It didn’t matter I didn’t know what to do; the instant my tongue swept along her folds Zel arched forward and her hands slammed against the bronze bedhead behind me. A moan tore through her throat almost making me come with no other stimulation.

Her musky sweet taste electrified my mouth, and I had to have more. Spearing my tongue, I flicked her clit, dragging more pants from her.

I adored making her tremble. I loved every second of bringing her pleasure. The conditioning stayed at a bearable level thanks to her wrapping her hands around the gnarly tree of the bedhead.

“Fuck,” I growled as I swept my tongue downward and entered her. The wetness short circuited my brain until I couldn’t stop increasing my rhythm. I tongue-fucked her with no remorse, groaning, thrusting my hips. I craved her in every inch of my body.

My world swam with completely new sensations. I’d never tasted anything like it. Never felt the urge to turn feral, but sweet. With a questing tongue, I swept upward again, swirling around her clit.

Her entire body jerked. She went from tense with stress to trembling with need in a second flat.

“I’m going to touch you, Fox. I can’t help it,” she panted.

I shook my head, rasping my unshaven cheeks against her delicate inner thighs. I nipped her sensitive flesh, thrilling at the low mewls escaping her.

“I have to. Please,” she moaned loudly as I tongued her entrance again, diving deep and hard.

Breaking away, I looked upward, my vision hazy with lust. My voice was hardly recognisable as I groaned, “I wasn’t saying no to touching me. You can. I was saying no to calling me Fox.”

Her eyes flew open, and I drowned in her green perfection. Confusion and questions darted like minnows in her gaze.

Pressing on her legs, I brought her entire pu**y to my mouth and sucked hungrily, savagely.

My tongue delved deep, deep inside her and my c**k lurched—hurting with the need to f**k her. I wanted to climb inside this woman and never f**king leave.

Her thighs quivered as I nipped possessively on her clit. She threw her head back, moaning, “I’m going to come. Oh, my God, I’m going—I’m coming. I’m coming.”

Gathering my stomach muscles, I arched upright, pressing hard into her. My tongue drove deep, plunging in and out of her delicious taste. The first ripple of muscle caught me completely by surprise, but then her hands landed on my head, clutching fiercely at my hair, pulling, yanking as her h*ps rode my mouth.

White noise hissed in my ears. My muscles burned with the need to obey.

My eyes snapped closed as a roar of conditioning held me hostage. My body twisted, preparing to shove her off and away, but I battled through it. I concentrated on other things—better things. I concentrated on her coming undone in my hands, liquid flowing while I kissed and worshiped her. The release seemed to transfer from her to me, making me throb harder, wanting the same explosion she’d enjoyed.

On and on her muscles contracted around my tongue. Only once the final tremor settled did she open her eyes.

“Wow,” she whispered, eyes fogged with passion.

I smiled, loving the feeling of her wetness on my lips and chin. “I owed you. What you gave me the night you sucked me off was amazing. I hope I returned the favour okay.”

She laughed once. “It was more than okay.”

With aching shoulders, I brought my bound hands up her back and over her head, freeing her, but her hands never left the sanctuary of my hair. She dug the pads of her fingertips into my scalp, sending tingles down my spine.

I used the energy and strength of the conditioning for my own purpose this time. In a move too fast for Zel to fight against, I toppled her from my chin to my h*ps and captured her face in my chained hands.

She sucked in a shocked breath before I slammed my mouth against hers, bruising both of us in a ruthless kiss.

My tongue darted past her lips with fierce hunger. Her body went from rigid and ready to fight, to liquid and malleable.

I bit her, forcing her to surrender. With a shudder, she sprawled on top of me, her straddled thighs unlatching around my hips.

We both froze as her wet heat brushed against my rock-hard cock.

Our eyes locked. I couldn’t wait any longer.

“Fuck it.” I thrust upward, filling her in one stroke. My eyes lost all ability to see as I sank deep into her heat. My head swelled with pressure, my body went taut with overwhelming need.

She cried out as her forehead crashed onto my shoulder. Her entire body lay on top of mine. The white noise grew louder, filling with screeches and shouted orders. My legs jerked as I tried to ignore.

No.

My hands opened and closed, desperate to wrap around her throat. My feet scrabbled for purchase on the sheets ready to propel her off me, so I could kill her.

But her sharp teeth sank into my shoulder as her h*ps went from stationery to rocking. She brought me back to her—she brought me back from the dark place and gave me f**king light in the form of connection and sweet, sweet emotion.

My muscles churned. I focused on the heat of her around my c**k and the taste of her inside my mouth. I stayed grounded. I stayed with her.

“Fuck, Fox. Yes. Oh, God.” Zel kept her eyes tightly closed, riding me as frantically as I thrust into her. We both chased a goal, intent on arriving as fast and as explosively as possible.

“Call me Roan, goddammit. I want you to call me Roan.”

Her eyes flew open, lips dancing with a smile. Her hands delved back into my hair, holding me in place to kiss me just as hungrily as I’d kissed her. “Roan,” she whispered against my mouth.

My c**k lurched as my heart cracked wide open and presented itself on a golden f**king platter for her to take. There was nothing left. I was hers.

“Roan. God, oh...”

My heart pounded, loving my first name on her lips. It felt as if it opened another part of me, and I forgot for a moment that I wasn’t cured. I wasn’t normal, I wasn’t safe.

My hands jerked, breaking one link.

I opened my eyes, terrified that I’d gone too far. I wrangled the conditioning into submission. Zel sat upright, placing her hands on my chest. The pressure of her touch sent my brain reeling into darkness, but I gritted my teeth, forcing myself to stay with her.

“Concentrate on me. On us. Don’t leave me, Roan. Don’t leave me.” Her h*ps rocked harder, her pu**y stroking my entire length.

“I’m with you,” I groaned, throwing my head back as the first line of fire shot up my c**k and spurted into Zel. The instant I started coming, Zel unravelled.

A surge of power grabbed my muscles and I yanked my wrists apart. Silver links strained, fighting my strength, but they didn’t stand a chance.

With a gentle pinging, the chain snapped free and slithered off my wrists.

“No—wait.” Zel froze.

Grabbing her waist with fierce fingers, I pressed her hard, driving upward. “I’m fine. Really. Don’t stop. Don’t stop f**king me, Zel.”

Her face held two battling desires: wanting to continue and wanting to run. Eventually wanting to continue won and she allowed me to rock her hips, propelling upward.

Together we thrust and ground against each other, taking and giving and f**king. The last band of release gave me something new. Gone was the violent urge to fill her, now I wanted to wrap her in clouds and protect her from everything. I felt almost weightless, buoyant.

Complete.

I gathered her to me in the gentlest hug I could manage.

Her arms came around my neck, pressing her br**sts against me. My heart exploded with tenderness. I never thought I could receive such a sought after gift.

Such a simple thing, but it changed my world.

The first time I’d hugged anyone since Vasily.

The first time I’d allowed anyone to hug me back.

“Tell me why you’re naked, operative.”

I hung my head, avoiding looking at my dangling cock. “Because I fell asleep with no clothes on, sir.”

“And now you’ll preform the mission with no protection while your white ass glows for your victim to see. You’re a prime target. I doubt you’ll make it back alive tonight.”

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.”

The rest of the cadets looked at me with a mix of smugness and pity. Six of us had been selected for tonight’s mission. All of them wore black. Everyone but me.

The commander presented us with our customary hunting knife, half-moon blades, and gun with silencer. He pointed toward the awaiting van that would drive us to the kill site.

I fumbled with the three weapons. With no place to store, I had to figure out a way to hold them.

My handler smirked. “You were always too bold, Fox. Tonight you’ll learn the hard way.”

And he was right.

That night I was shot in my ass running away from the security guards of the diplomat I’d murdered. His blood covered my bare skin, mingling with my own from the bullet wound.

Vasily was the one who helped clean and dress my wound. Only eight-years-old, but adapt at triage already.

Never again did I sleep naked. I would never make that mistake twice.

I shot upright, blinking, panicking.

No light.

Nothing but compressing, smothering darkness.

My eyes flew to the window where the stars and moon mocked me. You fell asleep before the sun was here to protect you. It’s our turn to make you suffer.

I fell backward, screaming as the memory of killing my brother—the one I tried so hard to avoid—crashed over me with a tidal wave of misery.

“Roan. Please—” Vasily’s face was streaked with tears, his nose streaming with mucus. My handler marched beside me, digging a cattle prod into my side while I dragged my baby brother along with a hard grip around his neck.

“Let me go. I promise I won’t say anything. I promise, Roan.”

My black heart had died back at the training camp, and my eyes were dry as a bone.

I knew where we were going, and I knew I would die beside my brother—either tonight or tomorrow or the day after. It didn’t matter. We were both doomed.

The moment we arrived at the pit, my handler pressed the trigger and sent a huge bolt of electricity through my body. My fingers locked involuntarily around Vasily’s neck, and we plummeted to the floor of the three metre deep pit.

My body weight crushed Vasily’s leg, breaking it in two places. His wails and screams scared wolves and owls far away from our grave.

They left us there for three days.

Starving, freezing, huddling together for warmth and catching snowflakes on our tongue for hydration, Vasily grew weaker every day. His lungs rattled with liquid, coughing and rasping with pneumonia.

Even if by some miracle I found a way out of there, he would die anyway.

So I did the only thing I could for my brother.

I kissed his cheeks and tasted his tears and we hugged goodbye with promises of finding each other in another life.