I couldn’t tell her what I really thought—I wouldn’t even if I could. Instead, I took a deep, refreshing breath, grinned down at her, and stepped away.

“I… I think you’ll be fine.”

Me, on the other hand, I wasn’t too sure about anymore.

Seven

Faith

Wow. I’d finally had a taste of what I’d been missing and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be the same again. I couldn’t even believe I’d been so open about wanting to kiss Finn. Maybe having an excuse to do so made it easier, but once my lips were on his and he kissed me back, I was changed. When he stepped away from me and went back to work on his poster, I knew I was a different girl.

I’d only been kissed once in my life, but I was positive no other kiss would top that one. I may never be more than a friend to Finn, and I may live a boring life until I’m married to someone equally boring, but at least I had that moment. It was almost as if Finn’s kiss had given me the courage to face the uneventful life that was laid before me.

Things got weird then. Finn stayed quiet while I made posters for the car wash. At one point my dad came in and asked if Finn could come in on an off day and help with cleaning the rock patch out front for a new parking lot the church was getting. He agreed, which meant I’d be going to church on a Thursday after school instead of doing homework. It was strange actually being excited about going there.

The following day I went to the church with my dad. I lied again and said there was stuff I needed to do in the kids’ room. In reality, I sat at the window and watched as Finn helped shovel the rocks into a big container the church rented.

Every now and again, he’d use his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face and I’d get a view of his stomach. He was so beautiful—sculpted by the hand of God. There could be no other reason for such perfection. He might be a full-blown sinner, but his eyes were made of heaven and when he looked at me, there was warmth that I’d never known.

I’d been so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even realize when Finn disappeared. I stood on tiptoes and angled my head in different directions trying to see where he went, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Do you always stalk people from the church windows?” he whispered from behind me.

I spun around so quickly that I lost my balance and he had to catch me. His body felt hot against mine and his drenched T-shirt stuck to the front of my simple white blouse.

“I… I wasn’t,” I stuttered

“Uh-huh. So you always sit at the windows for an hour, staring out?” he slid his arm down my side and I felt it in my knees.

“I wasn’t,” I said clearly.

“Okay, if you say so, but let me ask you something. Do you like looking at me, Faith?”

His eyes slipped to my mouth and I sucked in an excited breath. I silently begged that he would kiss me again. I ached to feel his mouth on my mine. I liked the way he was looking at me and the way he felt so close against my body.

I was going to go straight to hell when I took my last breath. What kind of person sat in a church room and fantasized about a man? I had to admit it to myself; I was definitely fantasizing about Finn.

“I wa—” I started.

He ran his thumb across my lips, stopping my words. His eyes penetrated mine as he took slow, deep breaths. He moved his other hand, adjusting it on my ribs.

“Don’t say you weren’t. You were. I saw you. And you know what? I liked it. I liked it almost as much as I like looking at you.”

I swallowed the moan that rose in my throat.

“You like looking at me?” The words barely came out.

His fingers spread into my hair, making my scalp tingle.

“Very much. As happy as I am that I won’t have to come back to this church in a couple of weeks, I’m sad that I won’t be able to look at you anymore. You make coming here tolerable.”

His words were too much, too sweet, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes and melt into him once his hand started massaging the back of my hairline. He was giving me something I hadn’t known I needed. I’d never needed to be close to someone else. I’d never needed pretty words. I’d accepted my future of being stuck with a man of God who was passionate as a stick. But Finn had me rethinking that future. Maybe I wasn’t as wholesome and good as Daddy said I was. Maybe I was more sinner than I realized and maybe I liked being that way.

He pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth and I waited for him to press them against my lips again, but the kiss never came. Slowly I opened my eyes to find him staring back at me with a confused look on his face. He shook his head a bit and then stepped away. My body felt too heavy and I almost dropped from the extra weight on my knees.