“Then Mexican it is,” I said with a huge smile. “Let me go change, I’ll be ready in two seconds!”

I felt lighter than I had in a long time. Eli had always had a calming effect on me and I was so thankful for it now. He’d seemed to be more mature than other guys his age when we were growing up, and he had this silent intensity about him that I had clung to after my parents had died. He knew words wouldn’t help in those hard times and his presence alone had helped me more than anyone else could have until I was given my journal. But even in times that were happy, like now, that intensity rolled off him and washed over me, making it feel like a huge weight had been lifted. The anniversary of my parents’ death and the Blake situation were forgotten. Complete peace.

Until three hours into our drinking and eating, anyway.

“Hey, so I heard Blake was in Austin.”

I froze and Candice eyed me warily before downing the rest of her margarita. I grabbed my beer and followed suit.

“Got in touch with him this afternoon. I’m supposed to go meet up with him in about half an hour. I told him I’d bring you two with me.”

This wasn’t happening. “Um . . .”

“I’m game!” Candice said, and nudged Eli’s side. “I haven’t seen him since school let out anyway. I miss him.”

Eli laughed and drained his beer. “I haven’t seen him since all that shit went down with Jenn. He left for the air force right after.”

My heart rate had kicked up, but at the mention of Blake’s girlfriend before he moved away, it halted. I hadn’t known anything bad happened between the two of them. I just remembered hating her for being with Blake. She’d been tall, with long, dark hair and blue eyes. I remembered not understanding why he would like her and not me; the only thing she had that I didn’t was boobs. “What—um . . .” I cleared my voice and tried to sound as uninterested as I could in my questioning. “What went down between Blake and Jenn? I thought they were happy before he left.”

Candice’s eyes narrowed at me. She knew I was searching. Eli shook his head and stretched his arms over his head before responding. “They had been happy. Jenn was attacked by some guys walking home from a party one night, ended up in the hospital . . . she was really f**ked up. I went with Blake to wait for her to wake up, and when she did she didn’t want to talk to him. It tore him up. He kept trying to talk to her and see her, and she refused to. She and her family moved away the week after she got out of the hospital. Blake had to leave for boot camp right after.”

I’d officially stopped breathing.

Was Blake the one who attacked her? Is that why she didn’t want to see him? I glanced over to Candice to see her shaking her head at me. She wasn’t glaring anymore, but she looked disappointed in me. Like she knew exactly where my train of thought had gone and was upset I was still putting the blame on her cousin who could do no wrong.

Eli handed his card to our waiter and drummed his hands against the tabletop. “So does that sound good? We’re gonna meet him in the bar of the hotel I’m staying in. I can get you girls a room.”

“No.”

“Rach”—Eli smirked—“I’m not gonna be able to drive the two of you back to your place after. Unless you want him to meet us at your apartment?”

“No!” I said too loudly, and people at the surrounding tables looked awkwardly at us. “I don’t want to go. I’ll just go back to the apartment.”

“What? Rachel, why?”

Candice cleared her throat and straightened her spine. “Rachel can’t stand Blake.”

Eli laughed softly. “Right. You only had the biggest crush on him growing up.”

My eyebrows shot up. “You knew about that?”

“Who didn’t know about that? You weren’t exactly subtle about your feelings for him.” His expression darkened suddenly. “I could’ve killed him for that.”

Wait . . . What?! “Killed him for what? For me having a crush on him? It’s not like it was his fault.” Oh my God, was I really sitting here defending Blake West for anything?

“No,” he snorted. “I was making fun of him because he never dated or hooked up with anyone. He told me he was just waiting for you to get older, that he was going to marry you someday. I thought he was joking at first, but I was wrong. Do you remember when Blake got in that fight and his nose got broken?” When Candice and I both nodded, he continued. “That was because of that. Dad had to pull me off him.”

“You beat him up because he wanted to be with me?” I wanted to pull Eli away and tell him everything that had happened. Candice didn’t believe me, but Eli would.

“Of course I did. You were like my sister, but it wasn’t just that. You were only twelve at the time and he was . . . what, seventeen? It was f**king disgusting.”

So that was why Blake had started ignoring me. I’ll never forget the way he looked after that fight. I had run up to him wanting to take care of him and began fawning all over him. He’d pushed me away and started dating Jenn not long after. I still saw him all the time since he was always with Eli, but it was like I didn’t exist to him anymore after that. I’d been hurt, but not discouraged in my quest to win his affection.

Chills spread through my body. Eli’s words made everything that had happened with Blake so much worse. And the fact that Jenn had been an older version of me was now incredibly disturbing. “Um . . . well. Things changed. I grew up. And I don’t like the person he’s become.”