He shifted the car into a higher gear and then clutched at the steering wheel. “I thought I found something that would help her. That would keep her alive.”

He was quiet long enough that I finally asked, “What was wrong with her?”

“Lou Gehrig’s disease. Her body was wasting away.”

I closed my eyes and shivered. “What happened? You said you thought you’d found something that could help her?”

“I did, it would have slowed the disease, maybe bought me enough time to find a cure. But it wasn’t to be. Santos found out about her, and . . . he turned her. Not to help me; he knew she didn’t want to be a vampire. She was furious because he told her I asked him to do it.” He didn’t look at me once. “The first morning of her new life she sat at the edge of the water as the sun rose.”

I closed my eyes, grief tearing through my chest for him. “I am so sorry, Remo.”

“It’s not your fault. But maybe . . . you can see just how hard it is for me to see you in these situations. I lost her because I wasn’t with her. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice.”

We drove in silence the rest of the way, hoping to get to the ferry terminal for the last sailing. Each mile drove the tension between us higher as I struggled to know what he really felt. Did he love me? Or was it just that I reminded him of a girl he’d really loved and lost?

As we drove up to the docks we were guided onto the ferry. We were one of the only cars; it was going to be a light load. That it was even still running was a surprise, but then again, it was the only way on and off Whidbey Island.

“You all know that the hospital is overrun?” The attendant peered into the car. He wore a mask over his nose and mouth, which muffled his words. “You’re taking your lives into your hands by going.”

“I think we’ll manage just fine.” Remo flashed his teeth. The attendant backed up and waved us on.

As soon as the car was parked and the blocks were set under the tires by the attendant, I was out of the vehicle and running for the stairs that would take me to the top deck. I needed fresh air, away from the intoxicating cinnamon and honey that was Remo. I hit the railing hard, bending it a little as I leaned over the edge, sucking in big lungfuls of fresh, salty ocean air. Slowly, my heart eased its rapid beat, and I stared at the water below . . .

Remo . . . his past was as messed up as mine. But where did I fit into his future? Would he defy protocol to be with me, or did he really mean it about this being the last time we worked together? Did he care at all? The questions swirled in my head like the water below the boat.

Ernie cleared his throat as he sat on the railing next to me. “You know, he’s hurting too.”

“It’s just so stupid. Who cares if we’re breaking rules? I mean, no one gets hurt, he doesn’t have to feed as much if he takes my blood. I . . . I love him, Ernie. I thought love was supposed to be enough? But what if he doesn’t love me?” My hair whipped up between us, a mass of black strands. Ernie sighed and shook his head.

“I’m supposed to tell you that love conquers all, but that’s not always the case.” He shrugged. “I mean, you’d have to convince Aphrodite to help you out if you were going to somehow get through this. She’s got the kind of influence that could change the rules of the heart.”

I snorted. “Even I know the chances of that are zero to none.”

He grunted. “Yeah. Sorry. She can be a real twat.”

I laughed, horrified at the term, but still it broke a little of the tension. “I understand his position; I wouldn’t risk my family for him either. If I had to, I’d let him go to keep them safe. I do understand. I just . . . it just sucks.”

Ernie laughed, but it wasn’t mean. “That’s because both of you are grown-ups. Idiot teenagers like Romeo and Juliet throw their lives, and their families’ lives, away for supposed instant love. Grown-ups look at the reality.”

“Did you really just compare us to Romeo and Juliet?” Remo said as he stepped up beside me. Damn him and his lack of a heartbeat. Between that and the sound of the waves smashing against the boat, there was no way I could hear him sneak up behind me. He leaned against me, his chest to my back, his arms circling around me. He put his chin on my shoulder, and I leaned my head into him.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Ernie winked at me. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

I put my hands over Remo’s, sorting through my thoughts for the right words. “I’m not sorry. No matter what, I’ll never believe that love is wrong. Even with Roger . . . it helped save me from the Firstamentalists. Even if it did end badly. And I won’t regret you either. No matter what happens.”

“I will never regret you either, Alena.” His mouth was next to my ear, and I leaned into it, wondering if this would be our last few hours together. I could feel the end coming; I just wished I knew how it would happen.

He kissed my cheek, and we stared out at the water together. The waves rose and fell as the wind picked up, and the cry of the gulls above us seemed to echo off the water below. Minutes passed, and in that time there was a sense of peace that I knew wouldn’t last. But I held on to the illusion of it anyway. I could pretend that we were on a date. That we would be okay. That we were safe.

A hump of water slipped upward in between the waves, and I stared at it, squinting. “Do you see that? Is that a killer whale?” They weren’t unheard of in the water between Seattle and Whidbey Island. But I’d never seen one quite that big.