“What do you need?” she asked him.

His knees came up and he found an even deeper part of her body that sparked an unexpected groan. “More from you,” he told her. “One more for you.”

“I’m—” She was going to say done, but he thrust his hips again and picked up speed and a second more intense orgasm washed over her as his strangled moan told her he’d found his release with her.

She collapsed on top of him as they slowly made their way back to earth.

Erin tucked her head in the space between his shoulder and his chin. “Where have you been all my life?”

He waved a victorious hand in the air. “Yes. Mission accomplished.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

They’d moved to her bed. His T-shirt covered her a little too much, and Matt had pulled his boxers on so he could be present in their conversation and not keenly aware that he was completely naked while she was all kinds of hot in his shirt.

The moment they’d caught their breath, Erin announced how hungry she was.

He didn’t point out that they’d just had dinner. He followed her into her kitchen and helped make sandwiches, and when those were done, she heated up brownies.

Matt waved the bit of chocolate goodness in the air. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

She sat cross-legged on her bed while he lounged against the headboard. “How so?” she asked between bites.

“You warmed them up. This takes the madness to a new level.”

He loved her smile. “I don’t know why I’m so hungry.”

He dropped a hand on her naked thigh. “I have a guess.”

“These are pretty good, huh?”

Apparently Erin liked to eat . . . after. Matt found himself fascinated with how much she was enjoying her food. “I think you might want to patent the recipe and make money off of them.”

“You mean like Betty Crocker?”

He looked her up . . . and down. His shirt covered her, but he knew damn well she wasn’t wearing panties. “A hot version of Mrs. Crocker.”

“How do you know Mrs. C. wasn’t hot? She could have been the blonde you crave.”

His jaw slacked. “I’m all about the sassy short-haired brunette.”

“I wasn’t fishing for a compliment, Matt.”

“You’re going to get one anyway.”

Her gaze grew distant, and he nudged her knee with the back of his foot. “Where did you go?”

She blinked a few times, put the food she was eating aside. “Was this . . . was I . . . ?” A question hung at the end of her incomplete sentence, and Matt knew exactly what she was thinking about.

“It was, and you were.”

She smiled and looked away.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said.

She shook her head. “I don’t want to ruin this moment.”

Matt sat up and moved so that she had to look him in the eye. “First of all, nothing can ruin what just happened. But the only way to preserve it is for us to be open and honest. When I leave I don’t want you asking yourself a bunch of questions that I can answer and getting them wrong.” He paused. “Talk to me, Erin. Is this the first time since . . .” He didn’t mention her ex-husband. He didn’t have to.

“Yes.”

Much as he didn’t want to know the truth behind his next question, he felt the need to assure her that her thoughts and feelings were normal so they could push past them. “Did you think of him . . . at any time?”

She squeezed her eyes shut, and his gut twisted the brownie inside into a knot.

“My mind tried to go there. But I forced it out, Matt. I hate that there was even a ghost of my past clouding what just happened.”

He blew out a sigh and leaned forward. With a hand on her naked thigh he said, “Please don’t hate anything we’ve done. You were with him, he hurt you . . . I can’t imagine putting myself in a position that I once felt pain. Considering everything, I think we did pretty well.”

Her hands were doing the wringing thing. A sign he recognized as stress. “I never thought I’d enjoy sex again.”

“Well, unless I’m a complete clueless asshole, I think you enjoyed yourself tonight.”

She smiled for the longest time, and then he saw moisture in her eyes. “You were so thoughtful,” she said as her voice broke.

Oh, God . . . she was going to cry.

Matt hated seeing a woman cry.

He pulled her into his arms.

There wasn’t a possibility in the world that he could imagine what she was thinking right at that moment. So instead of suggesting he had a clue, he simply held her until she gained control. While she did, her arms tightened and she sucked in short breaths through her nose. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

She cried almost silently. “I wish we didn’t have to have a safe word.”

He stroked her short hair and rubbed the back of her neck as he did. “Did it make you feel safe to have it?”

Erin nodded.

“Then we keep it.”

“We didn’t need it tonight.”

Much as he liked to think every time would be this easy . . . well, it took some serious work to hold himself back at several moments during their lovemaking. He’d seen enough in his short career to know that old trauma could flash inside someone at any time. “We keep it,” he repeated. “You need me to stop, take notice . . . anything to know you’re not okay, watermelon is the word.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Please stop saying that. I’m a zillion percent into what we’re doing here. I’m in with my eyes open and your past in front of us.”

She nodded into his shoulder.

“Now . . . the next question is where am I sleeping tonight?” He didn’t want to go home. Didn’t think Erin being alone was a great idea after . . . well, after.

She pushed off his shoulder and wiped her eyes with his shirt. “I want you to stay, but I don’t know if I can do it.”

“Do what?”

Her lip quivered. “Fall asleep with you in my bed.”

Matt reached over her, took the plate of half-eaten food, and put it on her nightstand. “We won’t know until we try,” he told her.

“Matt . . .”

“If you need me to leave, I will. I’ll sleep on the couch if I have to. But let’s try.”

Her tears had dried up, and she hid a yawn with her hand. “I feel like I ran a marathon.”

“Have you ever run twenty-six miles before?”

“No,” she said, laughing.

He pulled the covers back, patted the bed, and hesitated. “Which side do you sleep on?”

“In this bed . . . everywhere. But the left.”

He hated to ask, but he needed to know. “And with him?”

“The right. He made me sleep on the right.”

He moved to the side of the bed that would make her the most comfortable and fluffed his pillow. “I have to leave early for work.”

She stared at him for the longest time. “Why are you so kind to me?”

Leaning past her, he twisted off the light on the nightstand. Plunged into darkness, he reached up and touched her face. “I like to think I’m kind to everyone. But with you, it’s because you’ve rocked my world since the night we met, and now that I’m half-naked in your bed, I wouldn’t do anything to mess that up. Kindness is the minimum, Erin. You deserve so much more.”