If You Leave Page 17


“None taken,” she lies. I know it’s a lie by the way her cheeks are still stained pink. In fact, the flush has spread down to her chest.

I’m saved by the bells on the door, though, as Pax returns, tossing Mila’s keys to her.

“All fixed,” he tells her. “Good thing I have an extra key. You’re good to go, pregnant brain.”

She shakes her head, but thanks him. “There is one more thing before you go,” she mentions. “Could you move some boxes for me in the back? Supplies came this morning.”

Pax stares at her in surprise. “Good lord. Have all of my lectures finally paid off? Thank you for not trying to move them yourself, for once.”

Mila smiles gently, but as they walk away she turns and mouths Overprotective as she points to Pax’s back. Madison grins.

“He is overprotective,” she tells me as the other two disappear into a back room. “But it’s sweet. I never thought Pax had it in him when I first met him. He’s like a different person. He had sort of a shitty childhood, but he’s going to be a great dad. Speaking of him, though, I didn’t realize that you were friends.”

“We ran into each other at the gym this morning. And then we had a little run-in with Jared over lunch. Pax had my back again, which I appreciate. He’s a stand-up guy,” I answer. “I should’ve asked him if he served. He seems like that kind of guy.”

Madison practically chokes. “Served? As in the military? Um, no. Pax used to be kind of messed up. The military wasn’t something that would have appealed to him.”

I eye her. “Messed up?”

Madison stares at me, her blue eyes very dark and instantly troubled.

“Yeah. When he was seven, his mom was killed in front of him. It messed him up pretty bad. For years he couldn’t even remember exactly what happened. That’s how bad it was. I thought he was beyond saving, but Mila didn’t give up. She sees the good in people better than I do. And she was right. Pax came through it just fine. Eventually.”

I stare at her in horror. His own mother was killed in front of him? I thought I’d seen some shit.

“Damn,” I answer. “That’s terrible. That scar on his hand… was that part of it?”

Madison nods. “Yeah.” She suddenly looks uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. This is his story to tell. I don’t feel like I should talk about it.”

I nod slowly. “That’s fine. He might share it himself sometime over a beer.”

Madison actually looks guilty as she curls into a red chair. “He might, and if he does, good for him. He got counseling last year when all of his memories came to light. But I’m a big believer that you can’t talk things out too much. The more the better.”

I cringe at that as I take the chair next to her, because I strongly disagree. I don’t see the point in talking about shit. People can’t fix what happened to you.

“Let’s change the subject,” I suggest. “How’s your boyfriend? Did he get his candy-ass pants cleaned?”

She stares at me solemnly, but the corner of her lip is twitching again, making me wonder why. Is she glad I asked about that guy? Is this a game of cat and mouse?

“What makes you think Ethan is my boyfriend?” she counters, a question with a question. Classic deflection.

Now it’s my lip that’s twitching, but not from amusement. I hate games.

“Well, the two of you seemed pretty cozy the other night. I felt bad about jogging right through the middle of your date,” I finally answer.

She stares into my eyes and I see the blatant question there.

Do you want to play?

I stare back with an answer.

Yes.

Madison leans back in her chair, her eyes pointedly on my face, the air charged around us. The attraction between us is potent, yet we’re sitting here talking about her date with another guy.

We’re definitely playing now. Only right now I’m not sure who is the cat and who is the mouse.

“Oh, don’t feel bad,” she says smoothly. “Ethan and I are very old friends. It wasn’t a bother at all. Until you stopped and pushed him around, that is.”

I snort. “Your candy-ass boyfriend started it. And I didn’t lay one finger on him. If I wanted to push him around, you’d both know it.”

Madison doesn’t react to that, her face is a perfect expressionless mask.

“Were you dating Ethan when we met at the club?” I ask curiously. Madison doesn’t seem like the type to cheat, but then what the hell do I know? My training is in military tactics. I honestly don’t know shit about the inner workings of the female mind.

She flushes again, probably thinking back to that night and how she was so very willing to go home with me.

Thinking about it actually stirs my dick to life and I shift in my seat, picturing the way her nipple tasted in my mouth and how her soft lips felt against mine. The simple thought makes me hard and I shift my hand so that it’s covering my telltale crotch.

“Of course not,” Madison answers quickly, her slender hand fluttering up to push her hair behind her ear. “I wouldn’t do that.”

“I didn’t think so,” I tell her. “I just thought I’d ask.”

“Why? Looking out for Ethan’s best interests?” she asks me sharply. I stare down at her, my eyes frozen on hers… unwavering.

“No… my own. You aren’t really into Ethan. You’re into me.”

I drop my hand now, until it rests softly on the edge of her knee, my knuckles barely grazing her thigh.

I am sure that she wants me, although I’m not sure exactly why.

It was there the other night even when she was with Ethan. It’s in her eyes, in the way she finds me wherever I’m at in the room. It’s crackling in the air between us.

She wants me. And I want her.

Fucking her would be like harnessing a raging summer storm. And some weird part of me wants to make up for melting down on her that first night, to prove that I’m not a weak-ass pussy.

There is a pregnant pause before Madison bursts out laughing, not exactly the response I had been expecting.

“You’re pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?” she answers.

“Always.” I dismiss her words. “But you know it’s true. You’re into me and you have been since you met me. We’d be able to get someplace if you’d just admit it.”

“And what place, exactly, are we trying to get to?” She laughs again, but there is something in her eyes that tells me I’m right. Something about the way she turns her body toward me, in the way her hands can’t be still when she’s talking to me. She’s on edge around me.

Yet she still leaves my hand on her thigh. The heat from her radiates into my palm and I itch to move it upward.

But I don’t. I leave it still as I stare into her eyes.

I want her to ask me for it. Eventually she will say my name and ask me to fuck her.

It’s all part of the game.

She grows serious now, turning to face me head on in her seat.

“What I will admit is that ever since that first night, I’ve been curious about something.”

“Oh?” I raise an eyebrow, ignoring my trepidation, ignoring the way my heart starts to pound. This is it. I’m going to see what she knows. What she saw. And from the unsettled look on her face, it wasn’t good.

Madison actually looks nervous, but she lifts her chin and looks me in the eye anyway.

“It’s been driving me crazy trying to figure it out because everything I’ve seen of you since then doesn’t match. You totally lost your shit, Gabriel. What happened?”

Fuck. You totally lost your shit, Gabriel.

I yank my hand away and try to pretend that I’m normal. That it was no big deal. It sucks the air out of me because I hate that she saw it. It makes me feel weak. That’s something I’m not. And it is a big deal.

She’s waiting for an answer, her stare unwavering.

Do you want to play? Yes or no?

I shake my head. I only like to play when I have the upper hand.

So I try to deflect by being vague.

“It’s a long story. Let’s just say that everyone has demons and I haven’t shown mine who’s boss yet.”

Madison stares at me for a moment more and then she speaks. Her tone is soft now, sympathetic almost. It makes me cringe. I don’t want her fucking sympathy.

Jesus.

“Well, that’s not really the explanation I was hoping for, but whatever. Maybe someday you’ll tell me. And if there’s one thing I learned from Pax, it’s that everyone has demons. I have no doubt that you can whip your demon’s ass.”

She smiles another sympathetic smile and I can’t take it anymore. I hate that she thinks I need her pity. So I do what I do best. I deflect by being an ass.

“I’m glad that you’re so understanding,” I tell her. “Maybe you’ll give me a second chance.”

She raises a slender eyebrow. “A second chance? For what?”

I grin. “To show you my bedroom.”

My cocky words don’t have the effect I thought they would. Sexual tension flares between us like a live wire and Madison laughs again, a genuine and sexy laugh.

Leaning up toward me, she lays a hand on my thigh, moving her fingers ever so slightly upward as she murmurs into my ear.

“I’ve already seen your bedroom. How do you think you got home that night?”

Fuck. I can’t breathe as I stare into her blue eyes.

“Did I hurt you?” I ask quickly, before I can think about what I’m saying. All I can think about is the hole I found in my hallway the next morning.

Maddy’s head snaps up, her blue eyes widening.

“No, of course not,” she answers in surprise. “You were just out of it. You seemed to have a little issue with your wall. It offended you somehow and you punched the crap out of it. But you didn’t lay a finger on me. Why?”

I relax, my shoulders settling back to where they should be. Thank God.

“I didn’t mean that like it sounded.” I attempt to cover. “I meant in the taxi, when I dropped down on top of you…”

My fumbling attempts are interrupted by Mila and Pax’s return.

Thank you, God.

Madison smiles up at her sister and almost imperceptibly moves away from me.

The moment between us is over but I have more questions than I know what to do with. Did she put me to bed? What did I say to her? This whole time I’ve tried to pretend it doesn’t matter. I’ve tried to tell myself that it doesn’t matter.

But it does.

What did I do?

I don’t fucking know.

She looks at me, amusement in her eyes. She likes that I’m puzzled. She likes thinking she has the upper hand. She likes playing this game.

Whatever she witnessed that night, she thinks it gives her an edge. She thinks she’s the cat in this conversation.

Fuck that.

I turn to Pax. “Hey, dude. You about ready? I’ve got a date tonight. I should get going.”

I turn to smirk at Madison, but the look on her face deflates me. For just a second, before she closes up again, she looks crushed and I fucking hate that I did that. I only meant to take the upper hand again. I didn’t mean to actually hurt her.

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