Right away, I realized what I’d done and pulled out fast, as if it mattered at this point. “Oh, fuck.”

She paused. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry. I got too carried away.”

“Noah, it’s okay. We’re fine. I’m on the pill.”

It was a relief, but I was still mad at myself. “Next time, I’ll be more careful.”

While Meg used the bathroom, I straightened up the bedding as well as I could in the dark, and got back into bed. My sheets smelled like her too now. I fucking loved it.

A minute later, she came back to bed, but instead of snuggling up with me, she lay on her back on her side of the bed. I thought maybe I’d hurt her somehow, and I was about to ask if she was okay when she spoke up.

“I have to tell you something.”

“What?”

“I didn’t forget about the condom.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. I thought of it, and I could have said something, but I didn’t want to.”

Turning onto my side, I propped my head in my hand. “Why not?”

“Because I wanted to be that close to you.” She looked over at me. “But now I feel like I did something wrong.”

My chest grew tight, and I reached for her. “Come here.”

She rolled toward me and we lay face to face, chest to chest. I slung my arm around her lower back, and pulled her body tight to mine.

“Listen to me,” I said firmly. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I love that you wanted to be that close to me. I feel exactly the same way. I only apologized because I worry about you. I want you to feel safe.”

“I always feel safe with you.”

“Good.” Hearing her say those words felt like a gift. I kissed her forehead, and a moment later she was asleep in my arms.

For a half a second, my mind started to drift in the direction of Sunday, when she’d leave to go back to DC and I wouldn’t be the one holding her at night. Or anytime at all. Sunday was only five days away.

But I quickly flipped that switch off, and told myself to go to sleep. Meg didn’t seem worried about it. This is all for fun, she’d said. It was exactly the kind of arrangement I’d been craving. Phenomenal sex with a not-crazy woman I actually happened to adore that didn’t live in this town and had no expectation of me other than orgasms.

What more could I ask for?

Sixteen

Meg

On the ride to Cloverleigh the next morning, I looked at my text messages. “Oh, no.”

Noah glanced over at me from behind the wheel. “What?”

“I’m busted. My mother called me a bunch of times last night, and then I got this text from Chloe: ‘Hey, sorry about this but just wanted you to know that I had to tell Mom where you were. She was worried about you because you seemed out of it at dinner LOL so she checked on you when she got home and your room was empty. Then she freaked out and called me when you didn’t answer your phone. I told her the truth because she wanted to call the police, which cracked me the fuck up.’”

Noah laughed at that too.

I groaned, looking down at last night’s dinner outfit. I tried to pull down on my skirt and make it cover more of my legs. “It’s not funny, Noah! They’re going to take one look at me and know exactly what I was doing last night.”

“Not unless they have really dirty minds,” he joked.

I hit his leg. “Stop it. This is going to be seriously awkward. I already did the walk of shame into the kitchen yesterday morning. It was not fun.”

“Oh, Jesus.” Noah shook his head. “You’re a grown woman. Grown women have sex.” He glanced at me and winced. “But if you have any makeup, you might want to put some on that cheek.”

“Oh, God.” I pulled down the visor and checked my face in the mirror. In the sunlight, the mark was even more obvious, but it wasn’t horrible. “I don’t have any makeup, but I do have sunglasses. I’ll just wear those.”

Noah pulled up at the house. “You gonna be okay?”

I took a breath. “Yeah.”

“Hey. Look at me.” He took my chin in his hand and turned my head toward him. “If you don’t want to go in there, you don’t have to. I’ll take you back to my house and you can stay there as long as you want.”

My belly flip-flopped at the sight of him in uniform, like it always did. What would it be like to kiss him goodbye every morning? Be there when he got home? Talk about our days over dinner and share the same bed every night?

I couldn’t let myself think about it.

It was impossible, and it wasn’t what we were doing. “I’m okay. I promise. Today is supposed to be sister day. Salon and spa and all that stuff, so I better stay here.”

“Sounds like fun. Say hi to Nina for me.”

“I will.” I leaned over and kissed him. “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get away tonight.”

“I suppose I’ll survive. I owe Renzo some time anyway, don’t I, buddy?”

I glanced at Renzo in the back seat, who looked excited at the prospect. “Have fun. And thanks for the ride home.”

“Anytime, Sawyer.”

I got out of the car and shut the door, and as he drove away, I fought off a wave of loneliness that swept over me. I’d miss him today. That was a feeling I hadn’t counted on.

Sighing, I dug around in my purse until I found my sunglasses. Shoving them onto my face, I tried to arrange my messy hair to best cover my right cheek while I worked up the nerve to walk in.

Maybe they’ll still be asleep, I thought hopefully as I unlocked the back door, slipped inside, and pulled it silently shut. Maybe I can tiptoe right upstairs and not have to endure a conversation about this at all.

Nope.

Not only were my parents at the breakfast table when I attempted to sneak in, but my sister Sylvia and both her kids were there too. All five of them blinked at me. My father’s brow furrowed. My niece’s mouth hung open. My sister looked slightly appalled for a second, and then hid a smile behind her coffee cup.

“Well, good morning, sunshine,” my mother said, taking in my bedraggled, be-sun-spectacled appearance. “Did you have a nice time?”

“Uh. Yes.”

“I wish you’d have told me you were going out. Or at least left a note or something,” my mother said with a bit of a huff.

“Oh come on, Mom.” Sylvia stuck up for me. “She’s thirty-three. She can come and go as she pleases.”

Thank you, I mouthed at her.

“I know how old she is, Sylvia, but she’s still my daughter, and when she stays under my roof, I worry about her.” My mother sent a withering glance toward Sylvia’s end of the table and looked back at me, but I was already through the doorway leading to the front hall. “Hey, where are you going? Don’t you want breakfast?”

“I’ll get something later!” I called, racing up the stairs.

“We’re leaving for the salon at ten, so be ready.”

“Okay!”

Once I was safely in my room, I whipped off the glasses and flopped facedown onto my bed. Again, I fell asleep immediately and didn’t wake up until I heard a soft knocking at my door. “Meg?”