“Good night, Delia,” he whispers, his lips grazing against mine.

“Good night, Zach.”

He disappears out the door, leaving me standing there wanting more.

More kisses.

More touches.

More of him.

Me: I forgot to give you your penis potholders!

* * *

Zach: Why are you not sleeping?

* * *

Zach: Also, I’ll grab them later—on our second date. ;-)

* * *

Me: Well I had to let Zoe know if you were a good kisser or not.

* * *

Zach: And?

* * *

Me: You were decent.

* * *

Me: Omg. I can’t even pretend otherwise.

* * *

Zach: That good, huh?

* * *

Me: Let’s just say Zoe isn’t the only reason I’m not sleeping.

* * *

Zach: Why, Delia, are you telling me I got you all hot and bothered earlier and now you can’t sleep because you’re, dare I say, HORNY?

* * *

Me: ZACHARY HASTINGS! You CANNOT say that to people!

* * *

Me: But…yes.

* * *

Me: Also, my ass hurts.

* * *

Zach: FROM BEING HORNY? What are you putting in it?

* * *

Zach: Oh wait, you mean from the fall. My bad.

* * *

Me: I am not afraid to take back that yes to a second date. *taps foot*

* * *

Zach: You are so full of shit. You want to kiss me again too badly for you to do that.

* * *

Me: GRUMBLE GRUMBLE

* * *

Zach: My god, Delia, go to BED!

* * *

Me: Yeah, yeah. Fine.

* * *

Me: But, Zach?

* * *

Zach: Yeah?

* * *

Me: I really can’t wait to kiss you again.

* * *

Zach: I know. ;-)

* * *

Me: Moment. Ruined. Good night.

* * *

Zach: LOLOLOLOLOL

“I lied to Zach.”

Zoe spins around, coffee pot in hand, the delicious goodness sloshing around inside. “What!” Her screech is so loud that I cover my ears.

“Quiet!”

“You quiet, you liar. What in the hell did you lie about, Delia?”

“Wellllll…”

“You know I hate it when you do that shit. Out with it,” she interrupts.

“Rawr. Fine. So remember last night when you were all ‘come to my room to tell me all the juicy details’ and then I went to your room and you were fast asleep so I tried to wake you but you sleep like the dead?”

“I didn’t know you tried to wake me, but please continue.”

“Well about an hour or so after Zach left, I texted him about something and he was all, ‘Why are you still up?’ I told him I was talking to you.”

“Mhmm, and then.”

“I wasn’t talking to you, Zoe.”

“I know this.”

“I couldn’t sleep. I was too…wound up, if you know what I mean.”

“I think I do.”

“I was wound up. I had to…let off a little steam, if you will.”

“Hmm…” She sets the coffee pot down and folds her arms over her chest. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“I had to…ugh! I had to relax.”

“I’m still not following.” I hear it. Right there, I hear it—the sarcasm, the encouragement. She’s toying with me.

I narrow my eyes at her. “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

She shrugs. “If you’re grown enough to do it, you’re grown enough to say it.”

“Fine.” I drop my head into my hands. “I was touching myself.”

“What was that? Louder, please.”

“I WAS MASTURBATING!”

A forceful knock sounds on the wall, coming from the apartment next door. “GOOD FOR YOU, GIRL!”

Zoe and I exchange glances and fall into fits of laughter.

“Who in the hell was that?”

“I have no idea. I didn’t even know anyone had moved in.”

“Well, great. Thanks to you, they now know I diddle myself.”

“Oh please.” Zoe waves a hand. “We all do it. Hell, I did it right before you came home last night.”

I groan. “Please do not tell me about your masturbation schedule, Zoe. I don’t want to hear it.”

“I bet you fifty bucks Zach diddled himself last night too.”

“I’m not asking him that.”

She raises her brow in a challenge. “Twenty bucks, and I’ll do the dishes for a month.”

Fuck. That’s a good deal.

But I can’t ask him if he was touching his dick last night. That’s too much.

“No. No deal.”

“No balls!”

“What?”

“I said…” She crosses the tiny kitchen and places her hands on the counter, leaning in close to me. “No. Balls.”

I pierce her with a fierce stare of my own. “Fine. You’re on.”

Me: The bet is $20 and Zoe doing the dishes for a month so please excuse me for the question I’m about to ask you.

* * *

Zach: I won’t lie, I’m a little scared.

* * *

Me: Don’t be scared. Answer honestly.

* * *

Zach: Okay…

* * *

Me: Did you jerk off after our date last night?

* * *

Zach: Holy shit. That is THE LAST thing I thought you would ask me. You have balls, woman.

* * *

Me: That’s not you answering the question.

* * *

Zach: Will you hold my answer against me?

* * *

Me: No.

* * *

Zach: Promise?

* * *

Me: Of course.

* * *

Zach: Then…yes, I did.

* * *

Me: HAHAHAHA

* * *

Me: Dick-toucher.

* * *

Zach: Why? Why do I torture myself like this?

* * *

Me: Fine. I won’t hold it against you…for long.

* * *

Zach: You’re full of mercy.

* * *

Me: Are you blushing right now?

* * *

Zach: Nah. I’m a man. *pounds chest* Men are proud to touch their dicks.

* * *

Me: Don’t be THAT guy, Zach. The douchebro.

* * *

Zach: I can’t take it back now.

* * *

Me: You can’t, can you…dick-toucher.

* * *

Zach: I’m going to go work and pretend you don’t exist.

* * *

Zach: By the way, when’s our next date? Tonight?

* * *

Me: I’m a girl—throwing together a last-minute date doesn’t work. Besides, I work. What about tomorrow?

* * *

Zach: I’m a guy. You can’t ask me to date you on a Sunday during football season.

* * *

Me: You like football?

* * *

Zach: I mean I’ll watch it when it’s on, but I much prefer hockey. Might have played in my younger days.

* * *

Me: Are you trying to get me all hot and bothered again?

* * *

Zach: Depends…is it working? ;-)

“This display of whatever it is is making me queasy. I’m out before I have to witness any more of it.”

I pull my eyes from my phone to find Zoe retreating from the kitchen.

“Wait! Come back! He touched himself!”

“Don’t care! Bet’s off!” she hollers, quickening her pace.

“You little…” I hop off my stool and chase after her, only to have her slam her bedroom door in my face as her laughter spills out loudly.

Twelve

Through sheer poor luck and the inability to make our schedules sync, it’s been a week and a half since my first date with Zach. Our texting hasn’t diminished, but I’m bummed we haven’t seen one another again.

Me: Confession…I kind of really want to see you again.

* * *

Zach: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT

* * *

Me: Oh HOTNESS! I haven’t seen you without your glasses yet. *fans self*

* * *

Zach: That’s going in the spank bank, isn’t it?

* * *

Me: Well, there’s a baby goat in the picture, so no. That would be weird.

* * *

Zach: Oh, yeah. Excellent point.

* * *

Zach: What’s on the schedule for this evening?

* * *

Me: Studying. I have books spread out all over my room. I’m tired and bored and hungry and I just want to not be in this stupid apartment studying.

* * *

Me: Sorry, I don’t mean to complain. I’m getting cranky from lack of human interaction.

I set my phone down and dive back into the open economics book in front of me.

I’m sufficiently lost in all the mumbo jumbo, so the deafening knock on the front door about scares the shit out of me.

I check the time on my phone, surprised to see that nearly an hour and a half has gone by. I also realize it’s already five PM and I haven’t eaten anything since seven this morning.

On cue, my stomach grumbles loudly.

“Shit.”

Another knock on the front door has me moving quickly to answer it.

Peering through the peephole, I squeal in delight.

“You are a godsend!” I tell him, swinging the door open and grabbing the food bags he’s holding. “I could kiss you right now but I’m really fucking hungry and I need to eat before I get hangry. We don’t want to see that.”

I hurry over to the couch and tear open the bag, finding fresh French fries and chicken nuggets inside.

“Oh my god. This is amazing,” I moan through a bite.