“What?” I asked him slowly.

He was still making that facial expression when he said, “I didn’t think you invited me to go somewhere because you didn’t want to go alone.”

I pressed my lips together before grumbling in an almost-whisper, “But you thought I wanted you to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

That had that smirk of his going away real quick, and I definitely didn’t imagine the harshness in his voice when he replied, “No, I didn’t.”

I burst out freaking laughing, remembering, remembering him asking if we were going to pretend we were getting married.

Married. Me and Rip. Pssh.

Rip, on the other hand, decided to ignore me there in the seat beside him cracking up as he went back to the original topic. But nothing could hide the color on his cheeks or the way his spine went straighter after I’d started laughing. “I figured there was something else you wanted, all right? If it was something important, I figured you would’ve said something.”

And that had me shutting my mouth. Then it had me biting my cheek.

The sigh out of his mouth went straight to my heart. “I didn’t, and I don’t give a fuck what you want, Luna. If I could do it, I would.”

Because of the favor.

“I’m sorry—” I started, feeling guilty all over again, because no matter how much he might deny it, I could still sense he was put off about something with this entire situation. He was here because of his pride and that white elephant wasn’t going to let him admit anything.

“Don’t,” he cut me off. “It’s not a big fucking deal. It ain’t even a little fucking deal.”

Somehow I managed to hold back a sigh. I hoped he still thought that when we were heading back to Houston. I hoped he thought that when we were sitting in the funeral home to begin with.

“Okay.” I still felt bad regardless of what he said.

Maybe to him, this wasn’t a big deal, but to me, it was, and regardless of why he was here, I really was grateful this was the case.

In no time at all, Rip was pulling his truck into a funeral home that looked faintly familiar. From what I could remember, my grandmother hadn’t lived too far from this side of town. Twice, I had ridden my bike—something I had bought by slowly stealing small bills from my dad’s wallet over the course of six months when he’d pass out around the house—to her house when I couldn’t stay at my house a minute longer. While she hadn’t lived on a nice side of town, it had still been way better than where we had lived.

Then again, at a lot of moments, Hell would have been a better place than where I had lived.

I swallowed down that memory and did the sign of the cross inside of myself. The lot was only about halfway filled, mostly with late-model cars. I didn’t see the beat-up Voyager my nightmares had memorized, but then again, I wasn’t expecting to.

Rip pulled the truck into a spot and parked it, his body shifting toward mine, all broad shoulders and huge chest contained within that beautiful dress shirt, before he asked the same question as before. “You good?”

No. “Yeah,” I lied, hearing it sound weak and full of shit even to me, but you had to fake it till you made it, or something like that.

He blinked, and at that point, he definitely knew I was full of it. But he watched me with those eyes for a moment longer before he turned off the ignition. “Ready then?” he asked, calling my bluff.

Now or never, Luna.

“Ready,” I agreed, giving him a cheerful smile that inside felt way more like a grimace.

I opened the door a second before he opened his and we both slammed them shut at about the same time.

I was fine. I was loved. I had everything and more than I had ever wanted. I was choosing to be happy for the rest of my life.

None of this was going home with me. I wouldn’t let it.

I swallowed as I made my feet take me one step closer and then another step closer toward the brick building.

My heart pounded in my chest, and honestly, part of me felt like if I would have really wanted to, I could have passed out. Passing out would have been a perfectly acceptable excuse for not going into the building.

But that wasn’t going to happen.

When Rip’s tall, beefy body caught up to walk beside me, closer and closer to the building, I forced myself to let out a deep breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

I could do this. There was nothing to be scared of. I had survived living in a house with these people for seventeen years.

Nothing was going to happen.

I didn’t have a single word to share with Rip as we approached the doors. He opened one and motioned me forward, his face grave but focused on mine when we made eye contact. I managed to give him a tight smile as I stepped inside.

The foyer was cool and open, and immediately I found a huge photo of my grandmother in a gaudy gold frame with her name on a plaque along with the years she had lived on it. I had seen the blown-up picture before. She’d gone to one of those Glamour Shots what had to have been twenty years ago at least, I guessed… She looked the way I remembered her the best: with her blonde-brown hair that I shared with her styled into short waves, her face full and highlighted by the brightest pink lipstick I’d ever seen. I had gotten my love of lipstick from her. She had never been afraid of some crazy fun color, and she never left home without it.

The thing that struck me the most though was that she wasn’t smiling. She had never been one to smile, but her lips were pressed together into something resembling one. She looked proud and even a little snobby. It was weird to think that this successful hair salon owner, a single mom who had raised two children on her own, would also be related to two sons who would grow up to be mean, violent men. I had overheard her once say she was ashamed of them. I had been too.

How could I have gone the last six years without seeing her?

She had been the only one to show me kindness, even if it hadn’t been warmth and comforting love, but it had been something.

If it hadn’t been for her offering to take them when I’d finally gotten so desperate to leave, I might have ended up staying for longer in a place that was pretty close to Hell. And who knows what would have happened to my sisters if they had been stuck in that house for longer.

My grandmother had put the seed to leave in my head one day when we had gone over to her house to shower because our water had gotten turned off and told me Go, Luna. I’ll take care of the kids. But you need to go.

I had gone when I couldn’t stay longer… after doing the one and only thing that would ensure Lily and Thea and Kyra wouldn’t be stuck in that house any longer.

I wasn’t sure what would have happened if she wouldn’t have called me when she found out my dad was getting out of jail so that I would go get my sisters.

I had sent her a birthday and Christmas card every year since, but she had never sent me anything back or called when I had left her my phone number in one of the cards. It didn’t change anything though.

Grandma Gen, I’m sorry. I did love you, and I’m always going to be grateful for you helping me get out of here and taking care of the girls as long as you could.

Rip brushed against my arm as he stopped beside me. He was looking around the building, and if I wasn’t imagining it, he was back to being tense again. I could see him lingering on the portrait of my grandmother.

EUGENIA MILLER

1945 – 2018

Seeing her last name was… weird. It hit me stronger than when I saw it on the end of my siblings’ names. I hadn’t seen it on my own since I had decided I didn’t want a reminder of it.

A few people seemed to be hanging around a doorway to the left of the portrait, and I watched them. They didn’t look familiar though.

Now or never, right?

I could do this. I was going to. Then when this was done, I was going back to my house to see my sister, and then I’d have a job to go to the following day.

Breathing in through my nose, I told Rip, “We can go sit.”

He glanced down at me, at six four compared to my five seven, and nodded. We walked forward, him beside me the entire time, as we headed toward the opened doorway. The man and the woman standing there both gave us a serious nod as we went by them. The room was filled with row after row of pews with a raised dais-like area at the front, where a casket lay. Opened. Like I had expected from the parking lot, only the first three rows of pews were filled, and I couldn’t help but glance from the back of one head to another.