IN YOUR DREAMS

Vivian didn't show up again until the week of the prom. I was sitting in one of Lend's classes, but I didn't know anyone. The teacher spoke in another language, I had forgotten how to read, and I was wearing my prom dress with combat boots. Just the promise of school in the fall and I was already having nightmares.

As I frantically tried to decipher the words of a test on a subject I'd never heard of, I looked up. The rest of the students had disappeared. Vivian sat at a desk, giving me a strange look; the souls hovered, shining behind her.

“You're weird,” she said.

I looked down at the paper, still nervous that I needed to finish it. “Yeah, I know.”

“So, did you tell him yet?” Her small smile was tinged with a hint of smug.

“I did, actually.”

“Why haven't you called me then?”

“He didn't care.”

Her smile dropped off, replaced by furrowed brows. “He didn't care?”

“Nope. He likes me no matter who or what I am.”

She shook her head. “No, you don't understand. You must have lied to him. You keep getting brighter. You figured out how to do it, didn't you? Did you kill him?”

“No, I didn't kill him! I would never. I didn't 'figure it out' either, and I don't want to. I'm happy where I am.”

“Oh, I see.” Her face went hard and cold. “Lucky Evie. Are they going to take care of you, then? Aren't you just the special one. Friends everywhere.”

I shrugged, uncomfortable. “I don't want anything to do with the faeries or with taking souls or any of that. I can be normal here. I want to be normal.”

Her face contorted in fury. For a moment I thought she'd attack me. But then her expression changed, and she looked down at the desk, tracing her finger along it. Black marks seared the wood, small trails of smoke rising. “Normal, huh? Wouldn't that be nice, little Evie, normal Evie.” She looked up, thoughtful. “I always wanted a nickname. Faeries aren't real big on affection, you know? A friend or someone who liked me well enough to say, hey, Vivi, or maybe just Viv. I always wondered how that would feel.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “You know how long I've waited for you? I was alone for so long, and then they started talking about how the other court made a new one. At first I was jealous, ready to kill you like they said. But then I saw you in Ireland, and I realized, here's someone like me! So I started looking for you. They couldn't find you, but I knew I could, knew I'd be able to get to you. And when I finally found you, you left before we could talk. I'm still alone, and I can't find you again.” Her thin shoulders shook. She looked so broken, so sad it made my heart hurt. “It won't last. You can't be normal. Be with me. I'm so tired of being alone. Please, let me find you.”

I went to her, trying not to look at the souls, telling myself I didn't want them. I stroked her hand. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

She looked up at me and I saw the fire burning behind her eyes. “Then come with me.”

“I--” I started to tell her no but she grabbed my wrist, her hands like a vise.

“I'll find you,” she whispered, smiling.

My eyes flew open and I sat up in bed. Not good. So not good.

It was still dark, but I went silently over to Lend's room. He was dreaming, flickering through different people. I climbed onto the bed, lying down next to him but on top of the covers. “Lend,” I whispered. He didn't move, so I said it again, a little louder. “Lend.”

His eyes popped open, his face shifting from a random older man to his usual form. “Evie?”

“I had another visit.”

“Oh.” He stared at me for a while, frowning. “Oh,” he said again, shaking his head. “Sorry, what time is it?”

“Late. Early. Sorry.”

“No, it's okay. You had another dream with Vivian?”

“Yeah.”

“What did she say?”

“She said I was getting brighter.” I looked at him, worried and nervous.

“Well, my soul's still completely in place. She's manipulating you.”

I nodded, even though my quick, nervous checks every day in the shower made me pretty sure she was right. Even Lend had commented the other night that my hands weren't as cold as usual.

“Anything else?”

“She was mad that I haven't told her where I am. She's really sad. She's so lonely.” I felt horrible remembering the look in her eyes. “She said she'll find me even though I told her I didn't want her to.”

“She hasn't found you yet.”

“No, and she seemed really frustrated. That big killing spree she went on, I think it was about me. Finding me. I bet her faeries knew I was working for IPCA. They must have figured sooner or later it'd draw me out. And then when she saw me after she killed the hag--” I paused, thinking about it. “I don't think she'd made up her mind yet. She might have still been trying to kill me when she broke into the Center. But now she wants us to, I don't know, hang out. Kill paranormals together. Family bonding time.”

“Shouldn't faeries be able to find you really easily?” He looked worried.

I shrugged against the pillow. “I don't know. Maybe it's because I've been carrying around bread like your dad said? Or something your mom's doing? I have no idea why they haven't been able to find me. But I'm really worried--what if she comes here? What if she hurts you? Or Arianna, or Nona, or any of the other paranormals? I'm putting everyone in danger. It would be my fault, and I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself.”

Lend shook his head. “You aren't responsible for anything that she does. And I really think that if she hasn't found you yet, she isn't going to.”

We kept saying that, and the more times I heard it, the better it sounded, but that didn't settle the nagging worry bubbling in my stomach. Could I really just hang out, hiding in a small Virginian town forever?

I wouldn't mind.

But I still couldn't forget how sad she was. “I never thought I'd be grateful for my childhood, but poor Vivian. I know she's crazy and a killer, but she's never had anyone. Ever. I wish there was some way I could help her, you know?”

“I know. But you've got to remember she was raised by faeries. Everything she tells you is probably a lie.”

I smiled wanly, but I knew he was wrong. You couldn't fake that kind of pain and loneliness. He didn't understand--he'd always had someone. I wondered what I would be like if I had been raised by faeries. It made me shudder.

“So, umm, were you planning on spending the rest of the night in here?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I narrowed my eyes, trying not to smile. “In your dreams.”

He laughed. “Well then, let me go to sleep so I can get back to them.”

Shaking my head, I leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips, then, already missing him, went back to my room. I wouldn't have minded spending the night in there, but I wanted to take it slow and figured sleeping in the same bed wasn't a really smart idea. After all, I'd seen it time and time again on Easton Heights--when the couples hooked up too soon it never ended well. Plus, I didn't think his dad would like it very much and I wasn't about to push my luck.

It took a long time for me to fall asleep again.

The next morning Lend went to school. I stayed home, like I did most days, to work on my schoolwork and study for the SATs. It was so bizarre I wanted to laugh. While Vivian and her faeries plotted my destruction, I sat at the counter memorizing vocabulary words. Normal was stranger than paranormal sometimes.

“How's it going?” David asked, fixing himself a sandwich for lunch.

“I have a question if you've got a minute.”

“It's been a long time since I studied for that thing, but I'll try to help.”

“Oh, no, not about the test. I was just wondering, kind of worrying actually. About faeries. How do they find you? I mean, like if some of the IPCA faeries were looking for me, would they know where I was?”

“I don't think so. I know if faeries have some sort of connection, something of yours, usually an important possession or part of your body”--he saw my eyes widen and smiled--“like hair, or a finger or toe, they can always find you. And if you call them, of course. But if you mean just know where you are, no. They do have ways of finding people. If, for example, they know your full name, then it would be simple.”

I frowned. I didn't know my real full name. I was pretty sure IPCA didn't, either, and Vivian's faeries wouldn't. Then I remembered what Reth had said about telling me my name someday. A cold chill settled between my shoulder blades. That must have been why he always seemed to know exactly where I was in the Center. “Any other ways?”

“If faeries really wanted to find you, they probably could. Which means they already would have.” He smiled. “I've already worried about all this for you and I don't think it's an issue. You're safe from IPCA here.”

I nodded, wishing it was IPCA I was afraid of. No, I was worried about much worse things. I grabbed another slice of bread and shoved it in my pocket. I wanted to stay here, wanted this happy life to go on forever.

Something told me slices of bread weren't going to be enough.