"Come here." Kyle smiles at me, two fingers beckoning me closer. I return to his desk and lean against it as he stands. He straightens my hair with his fingers and adjusts the collar of my shirt. Then he kisses me and I think I love him.

I'm an idiot. It's too soon. I'm infatuated. And I'm married to him and pregnant with his baby. Of course I have feelings. He probably has feelings too. Regular normal feelings, such as the feeling of like. I stare straight ahead at his tie. He's perfectly unwrinkled. Just breathe, Daisy.

"Is there a daycare in this building?" I ask as Kyle's intercom buzzes with James wanting to know if he needs to reschedule the Clemens group. Kyle taps a button, telling him he'll be ready in two minutes.

"Of course," he answers me once he's done. "Why?" He asks this with a small frown, like he's got no idea where I'm going with this. He walks me to the door of his office, hand on my elbow. It should probably be annoying, but I'm sorta into the way he's always touching me.

"I'm just making plans for the future, because I'm a planner now. I wanted to make sure someone other than James will be available to watch the baby when I visit you in the office. Not that James doesn't seem capable, it just seems like it would be so obvious, don't you think?" I smile, very pleased with my foresight into the future. I think I'm going to call nooners in Kyle's office Plan O. Also, wow. I really feel like I'm getting my shit together.

"We'll have a nanny, so I think it's likely you'd just leave the baby home with her when you can't make it through the day without a quickie."

"Wait. We're getting a nanny?" Does he not trust me to raise the baby without assistance? I loop my purse over my shoulder and adjust the strap, not looking at him.

"I would prefer a dedicated live-in nanny as opposed to dropping the baby at a daycare with a slew of workers I can't vet, so yes."

"A live-in?" What the hell? And why is the nanny a girl? Maybe I want a manny.

"Hmm, well, our unit isn't really big enough. I'll get the nanny a separate apartment somewhere in our building. Or we can get a bigger place in the suburbs. Whatever you prefer."

"Oh."

He's got one hand on the doorknob when I say 'oh.' He stops and turns back. "What does ‘oh’ mean, Daisy?"

"You don't trust me to watch the baby by myself?" God. I haven't even told him about how no one would ever hire me to babysit unless Violet was coming too.

"Are you worried about caring for an infant?" He frowns, as if he's confused by this entire exchange.

"No. I mean yes. But a normal amount of worried. I don't need an assistant to help me take care of my own baby. I'm going to finish reading that book before the baby gets here so I'll know what I'm doing." Also my sister will probably visit for at least a week and she for sure knows what she's doing. She always does.

"Oh," he says and I side-eye him for the choice of word. "Daisy." He exhales and glances at the door. "I wasn't implying that you're incapable. I was implying that we're going to need childcare while we're working. Both of us. That's all. We can talk more about it later, if you like."

Oh. Well, that's fair, generous even. Plus it was nice of him to refer to my career when I just had an orgasm in the middle of a workday. But still, I have a small bite of lingering doubt. Do I know him well enough to know if he's sincere? Or does he think of me as some errant wife he had to marry to keep his baby safe from my questionable child-rearing skills?

19

Kyle

"I think I'm falling in love with my wife." I surprise myself by saying the words aloud. They hang in the relative silence, accompanied by the sound of steps hitting pavement and the everyday noises of a large city waking up.

Luke and I are on one of our semi-regular early-morning jogs along the Schuylkill River. He lives in the building next to mine with his wife and children. We usually manage to squeeze in a workout together a couple mornings a week, either with an outdoor run or in the gym in his building or mine.

"Sounds complicated," Luke finally mutters, his tone laced with sarcasm. I don't miss the side-eye I get either.

"Shut up. It is complicated."

"Wives always are."

"It's too easy between us. It can't be this easy, can it?"

"Kyle, you were crazy about her the moment you met her. You told me so yourself."

"I know. I was. I am."

"How often does that happen? For anyone? That you meet someone you click with, be it a date or a colleague or a cat you find in a dumpster? It doesn't happen that often, because it's rare. It's like you started the relationship off on a home run. Enjoy it."

"It was hardly a home run. I knocked her up and left without getting her number."

"That you did." I glance over to see Luke smiling like my life is a source of amusement for him.

"Oh, fuck off. I seem to recall you knocking up a co-ed not that long ago."

"I thought we were talking about you?" We both move to the right to make way for a bicyclist we're about to cross paths with.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Listen, enjoy the easy. Because you've got years of difficult ahead of you. Kids change everything. You're in the midst of a sex-crazed honeymoon period fueled by pregnancy hormones. Things should be easy."

"Things can't change that much," I observe. Now it's my turn to side-eye Luke. "You and Sophie keep having them every twelve to eighteen months, for fuck’s sake. Are you trying for a boy or something?"

"Nah. If we wanted a boy I'd provide a sample to my lab, have them run a flow cytometry to separate out all the Y chromosomes and then have Sophie stop by my office for an intracervical insemination. Easy."

"You can hear yourself, right?"

"Would you rather I'd said I could jerk off into a cup and then turkey-baster my wife if we wanted a boy?"

"Fair point."

"A boy would be cool, if it happens. Or we can have half a dozen girls. I don't care."

"Jesus Christ. You want six? You guys just had a third one like two months ago."

"I'm greedy." He shrugs. "I'll take as many as I can get before Sophie tells me to fuck off and get a vasectomy."

We jog in silence. A solid half-mile or so while we're each lost in our own thoughts, enjoying the run.

"Let me ask you something. Professionally," I add, then wish I could take it back. Fuck, he's gonna rib me so hard.

"Sure."

"The pregnancy sex drive. Is that a real thing? Because Daisy—" I cut myself off. "Fuck, never mind."

"Oh, it's real," Luke replies like this is a normal conversation. Maybe it is for him, but I can't imagine anyone actually brings this up during a doctor’s appointment and leaves with their wife still speaking to them. "Increased blood flow. Increased production of progesterone and estrogen. Totally normal. Just try to keep up."

No kidding. I'm pretty sure Daisy woke me up last night for sex. She claimed she was worried that Tubbs was choking up a hairball but Tubbs was on the chaise longue sound asleep, so I'm pretty sure she made that up. I wonder if she'd even like me as much as she does if she wasn't so sexually needy because of the baby? And yeah, I immediately make a mental note never to say that out loud lest she try to unman me. Deservedly.