“Take the prospect too.” I glance up at Kyle who is stocking the bar. The kid works hard, and he’s shown himself as dependable.

He nods, taking my orders without question.

I bang my knuckles on the bar, telling Daimon I’m done, and push up from the stool. I don’t want company tonight, so I walk through the common room, ignoring Noelle as I pass her, ignoring the boys balls deep in club bunnies and the smell of weed and stale smoke in the air. This is home and usually it feels that way, but tonight, I’m a stranger in my own house.

Dog tired, I head up to the room I keep at the clubhouse. It’s home and has been since Sasha left. I had the boys decorate it, so the walls are slate grey and the furniture is new. Other than the bed, there’s a chest of drawers, wardrobe, a sofa and two bedside tables. Part of me wishes I’d kept the house I shared with Sash before she left. I may live and breathe my club, but sometimes, I need a break from dealing with all the shit and the shitheads that come with it. I should have kept it, but it was too hard seeing memories of her everywhere.

As I pass Sin’s room, my eyes stray in that direction and my anger starts to grow. It takes everything in me to keep walking past, to not go in there and unleash hell again. I hate him for what he’s done. Of all the people in my life, he’s one of the few I trusted. He’s also the only blood family I have left, so his betrayal cuts deep.

Once I’ve shut the door behind me, I slam my fist into the dry wall, cracking the plaster. I don’t care about the decor, but I relish the trickle of blood that wends over my knuckles. the streaks of red are stark against the pale walls.

I shrug out of my kutte, draping it over the chair and then sag back onto the bed, still clothed.

As I lie there, my thoughts drift to a different time, to a time when it was me and Sasha versus the world.

Her being back is throwing me for a loop, one that is going to strangle us both.

7

Sasha

I wake in the chair at the side of the bed with a stiff neck and a hollow feeling in my gut. My eyes rise to take in the cot bed and the mass of blonde hair I can see. Lily-May is hanging on, fighting still, but I can see the toll this is taking on her little body. She needs this procedure and soon.

I push to my feet and move over to the bed, ignoring the beeping of the machines and the low light that is barely illuminating the room. I run my hand over her hair and she stirs a little.

“Mummy?”

“Baby, I’m here.”

Lucy went to the canteen to get some breakfast for us both. She’s been a godsend. I hate being alone in this room. It makes the reality of our situation more real.

Lily-May shifts and closes her eyes again. I’m grateful she can sleep through the worst, because knowing my daughter is suffering and is in pain that I can’t fix is the worst kind of torture.

I kiss her head and leave the room once she drifts off again. I need coffee, although I’d prefer it with something a little stronger than milk. The vending machine in the corridor outside her room doesn’t dispense the best cup of caffeine, but it’s better than nothing.

I rub the back of my neck as I move towards the machine, my yawn tearing out of me. I could sleep for a month, but I don’t have that option. I snatch an hour here and there, but I’m starting to feel the effects of running on near to empty.

As I push the button for a white coffee with sugar, I hear a voice behind me.

“Sasha.”

Even after all this time, even after all the hurt, he has the power to make the apex between my legs throb with anticipation.

Slowly, I turn from the machine and come face to face with Rav. My heart twitches as I take him in. He looks the same as he did when I saw him at the compound, but he doesn’t look like my Tyler, not anymore. He’s bigger, brawnier and wears a permanent scowl etched onto his handsome face. His worn and battered kutte fits him like it’s moulded to his frame, the ‘President’ patch on the front a stark reminder of the man he is.

Regret surges through me, followed by remorse. I shouldn’t have let things get this far.

“Ty…” I breathe his name, trying to recapture my equilibrium. No one else can knock me off target like him. He still has the ability to bring me to my knees. He can still stir my desire and make me want him, even when he’s snarling at me.

Today, his long dark hair is loose around his shoulders, which accentuates that beard he’s wearing. He looks wild. It’s a good look on him.

“Ravage,” he growls. “I earned that name and you’ll use it, like everyone else does.”

And just like that ice fills my veins and my desire washes away, because his words cut me to the bone. Once, I was the only person allowed to call him Tyler. Once, I knew everything there was to know about him. Now, he’s treating me no better than a club bunny or an outsider, and fuck, does that hurt.

I steel myself, lifting my chin slightly, ignoring the pain his words bring.

“Ravage,” I bite back, my stomach in knots at the malice in his tone. “They do the test down the hallway. I’ll show you—”

I start to walk away, but he snags my bicep. An electric charge surges through me at his touch. My mind recalls our time spent together, the nights we spent making love and the days we spent talking about our future together—a future that is now destroyed.

“You said you’d explain.” His voice is hard, unyielding.

Ice churns in my gut.

“And I will. Once you’ve done the test.”

He shakes his head. “Explain first, then I’ll do the test.”

I swallow the bile that crawls up my throat. This is not a memory lane I want to take a walk back up. Rav says he wants the truth, but could he really handle knowing what his brother did to me?

He thinks this hurts now?

He has no idea the pain the truth will bring.

“There’s not much to explain.”

His gaze hardens. “He says you came on to him, that it was dark and he didn’t know who you were.”

I scoff at this. Sin’s explanation sounds so crazy. “And you believe that?”

“No. I don’t know what the fuck to believe. You left without a word, then you show back up years later telling me I might be a father, but so might my brother. What the fuck am I supposed to think?”

There’s a hint of hurt beneath the angry words he fires at me. I should be sympathetic to that, but I’m not. I’m pissed off that he never once has taken my corner, that he hasn’t fought for me. He keeps talking about our past, but he’s seeing a different picture to the one I am. Yeah, I ran, but now I know it was the right decision.

Sin was right.

Rav wouldn’t have believed me and I would not have been strong enough to fight them both back then.

I roll to my toes and get in his face, injustice and hurt making me furious. “You’re supposed to know me better than anyone else,” I hiss at him. “You know I would never cheat on you.”

He gazes back at me, unflinchingly, his mouth pulling into a tight line. “The evidence suggests otherwise, darlin’.”

I don’t miss the sarcasm in his voice. It grates on my nerves. I didn’t do shit wrong and I’m tired of paying for it. I’m tired of being the one called whore and slut, and whatever other words they use to bring me low—even if Sin made me feel like one.