“Where the fuck is he?” Nox demands, his eyes burning fire.

“Take your fucking hands off me before I kill you,” I snarl at him.

He releases me with a shove and steps back, his hands going to the back of his head.

“You find him, Rav, and you find him fast.”

My temper flares at his words, and I push down the monster threatening to surface long enough to snap out a, “Remember who the fuck you’re talking to!”

If this bothers him, he doesn’t show it and that scares me. Nox is loyal. I’d trust him with my life and the life of every man in this clubhouse. Him putting his hands on me, losing control like this, isn’t him.

What the fuck is going on?

Nox runs a hand over his face and I can see him unravelling in front of my eyes. He’s barely keeping his shit together. He points a finger in my direction and growls under his breath, “I’m going to kill him.”

“Threatening another brother without reason could lose you your colours.” I let the warning hang between us. Sin might be on my shit list right now, but the bylaws are still the bylaws. You don’t put hands on another brother with intent to maim or kill without a fucking good reason—like fucking your old lady.

He stands there, hands on hips, staring at the ceiling as if his entire life has just imploded in front of his eyes. Then he dips his head and meets my gaze before grinding out, “That sick bastard raped Sasha.”

The words hang heavily in the silence. I hear them, but I don’t compute them for a moment. When I do, nausea swirls in my gut and pain starts to build behind my eyes. I thought seeing red was just a phrase, but my vision is clouded with crimson.

“That’s why she fucking left! Not because she fucking cheated. He raped her.”

The rage, the fury, the demons I can’t ever exorcise, rise in me at his words.

“What?” I growl out the word, tasting ash on my tongue, the bitterness of a betrayal so vile I can’t even comprehend my brother would do this.

“He fucking raped her,” he repeats.

“You’re lying.” I can’t believe him. Believing him would mean my brother’s death—a brother I raised, a brother I loved. If it’s true, there’s no way in fuck I’m letting him stay breathing. If it’s true, I’ll put a bullet in his head myself.

Thoughts of Sasha before she left dance across my mind—the carefree woman I loved. I see none of that in this new version of her. She’s hard, jaded, pissed at the world.

And now I know why.

If it’s true…

I don’t want to believe it, but I can see the truth in Nox’s stance. He believes it.

“You don’t think I wish it wasn’t true? He’s a brother,” he says, his voice ravaged, “but I heard it from Sasha’s mouth. It’s not a lie.”

My arms fold over my broad chest as I take this in, still not willing to believe it, not willing to deal with the fallout of what that would mean, desperately needing it to be wrong.

“She’s a deceitful bitch. Why the fuck are you believing a word that comes out of her lying whore mouth over a brother?”

Nox’s fist lashes out, landing on my jaw. I see stars for a second as I go back on a foot, my jaw burning from the pressure of the hit.

“You’re a fucking bastard.”

Anger swirls in my gut.

“She fucked my brother. What else am I supposed to call her?”

Nox glares at me like I’m shit under his shoe. “Do you really not remember anything? Has your pride fucking blinded you that much? Sasha would never have betrayed you. We all know it. You know it. She was loyal as fuck to you. You were everything to her. Anyone with a pair of eyes could tell how much she loved you.”

Sasha was loyal. Until she wasn’t. But a tendril of doubt is starting to make its way through me. The way she acted towards Sin, the way she’s acted since she came back. She never once has admitted fucking him either. She always hedged around it.

“If it’s true, why the fuck didn’t she say?”

“Because this was her fear! That you wouldn’t believe her. I watched that woman break down and shatter telling me what happened. She ain’t lying, Rav. He fucking hurt her.” His arms gesture to the empty room. “And if he didn’t do shit, where is he? Why run? He took his beating. It was done. My thoughts are he couldn’t chance you and Sasha talking. He couldn’t risk anyone figuring out what he did. He ran because he’s a fucking lying, betraying piece of shit rapist.”

I don’t trust myself to speak yet. Did Sin do it? Did he rape the woman I loved? Is that why she left?

The pieces of the puzzle start to fall into place and I really don’t like where the hell they’re falling.

My temper fractures and I let my frustration free. I tug over the drawers and then I go to work on beating the shit out of everything I can touch.

When I’m done, I’m breathing heavily, my breath ripping out of me, blood running over my knuckles again. I point at Nox.

“You’re sure about this?”

“Yeah.”

I turn my head away, running my fingers through my hair as I step over the mess to fall into the chair at the side of the bed. This life is dark. It comes with unspeakable crimes and it’s filled with blood. I can handle anything this world throws at me, but not this. Fuck, never this.

He raped my girl. He fucking hurt her and broke her beautiful spirit. All I can see is her scared, destroyed. Was she screaming for me? Calling my name?

He violated her in the worst way.

A lone tear rolls down my face as I look towards Nox.

“What have I done?”

Nox’s voice softens as he says, “Rav… you couldn’t have known.”

I shake my head, climbing over the mess towards the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To see Sasha.”

A storm is starting to brew inside me, building off my fury. An eerie calm comes over me.

“Then I’m going hunting.”

We both know who I’m talking about.

Run, Sin, because I’m coming for you.

12

Sasha

I hold my daughter in my arms for the first time in days. She’s rubbing at her eyes, her exhaustion marring every line in her face. I can’t bear seeing her broken down like this, and it takes everything I have to keep my emotions in check. I have to be strong for her, even though I’m running on empty myself.

Lucy went home an hour ago to shower before she has to head to work. Her company deals with acquisitions of other companies, and although she’s pretty low on the food chain there she loves it. I have no clue how she’s still functioning, but somehow she is. I feel wrecked. I couldn’t do a full day’s work on top of this. She’s super human.

I place Lily-May back in the cot bed and straighten her pyjamas before running a hand over her head. She feels warm, clammy. Waiting for Rav’s test to come back is a special kind of torture. I hope like hell he can help my daughter. The thought he might not be a match sits like a weight in the pit of my stomach, a weight I try to ignore.

The door pushes open behind me and I twist to look. My stomach both flips and clenches as I see Ravage standing in the doorway. Instantly, my guard goes up. The look in his eyes shreds me. There’s pain there, raw pain that hits me in the gut and makes me forget I’m pissed at him.