Anger surges through my veins that they were incapable of letting go of our shit for just five seconds, but it’s followed by a feeling of helplessness. They’re Lily-May’s last hope. She needs this.

They might not even be a match, filters across my brain and I hate that it does. I don’t need to be thinking negative thoughts right now. Only positive. My baby is going to survive this. She’s going to get that transplant and be right as rain again.

It’s the only hope I have to cling to as I pace the hospital corridor, glancing up at the clock.

I nibble on my bottom lip.

Eleven-thirty.

They’re an hour late.

A sinking feeling is hitting the pit of my stomach, one that tells me this isn’t going the way I want.

“I don’t think they’re coming, honey,” Lucy tells me, her voice soft, as if that can lessen the blow.

It doesn’t.

“We just need to give them a little longer.” I sound desperate. I know time won’t make a lick of difference, but I have to hold on to that. I have to believe neither men hate me so much they’d let a baby die.

I look at the clock again, watching the time tick down.

They’re not coming.

I expected it from Sin. That bastard wouldn’t lift a finger to help me before, but I thought he might feel a hint of remorse that might guilt him into coming. Rav… Knowing him as I do, I’m guessing he lost his shit over what I told him and has spent the last few hours buried in a bottle of Scotch.

I snag my jacket from the chair and shrug into it.

“Where are you going?” Lucy asks, coming to her feet with me.

“Back to the clubhouse.”

“Sash, you can’t. Ravage pointed a gun at your head last time you were there. What do you think he’ll do to you now he’s had time to think about all of this?”

Probably put a bullet in me, but if I can get him to the hospital before he does that…

“They’re Lily-May’s last hope.”

“The national register—”

“Won’t save her. The chances of finding a match are slim to none. A full match is her best shot. Rav or Sin could be that.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing.” Her voice tells me she doesn’t think I’m doing the right thing, but I love her for not trying to talk me out of this crazy plan. She knows I’ll do anything for my daughter, even walk back through the fires of hell.

I fix my jacket in place and grab my bag.

“If they do turn up, call me.”

She comes to her feet and pulls me into a hug. “Please be careful, honey. Lily-May needs her mother alive and kicking, not buried in some MC’s backyard.”

“They won’t hurt me,” I assure her, hoping that’s true. They never used to harm women, but a lot has changed over the past few years, including Rav. I don't know what these men stand for any longer, but I hope it’s the same as it was in the past.

Rav’s different now, harder, although he always was—just not with me. I can’t blame him for reacting the way he has. I dropped a grenade and walked away, but I had to. Being in his and Sin’s presence is too difficult. It brings back too many memories of a time I’d rather forget. I don’t think I’ve been happy one day since I left. Other than Lil. She’s the sunshine in my cloudy sky, and I’ll never feel anything but joy at having her—no matter how she came into this world.

Because she’s mine. Mine. And I’ll fight for her to my dying breath, which may come sooner rather than later, if Rav is feeling less than benevolent.

It’s a bit of a walk to the clubhouse, but it’s warm today, so I go on foot. Besides, I need the time to think. Nerves jangle through me, but my mind is focused on getting the help I need for my daughter—even if it backfires on me. I’ll take whatever punishment is offered, so long as they agree to help her.

As I approach the gates of the clubhouse, I lift my chin higher and exude an air of calm I absolutely do not feel. Inside, I’m a trembling wreck. I need to get this for Lily-May and nothing will stand in my way. Not Rav, not Sin—nothing.

I stand in front of the gates and after a moment the same prospect from yesterday appears from the hut at the side.

He eyes me warily, but he doesn’t say a word to me. Instead, he gets straight on the phone.

I wait, my patience wearing thin as I prowl the fence line like a wildcat.

I expect to see Rav appear from the clubhouse, but it’s Nox.

Great.

Getting past the gatekeeper isn’t going to be easy.

He doesn’t bother with hello as he nears me. “Get fucking gone, now.”

I steel my jaw, and slip my fingers through the chain-link fence that separates us. “I told him I’d be back if no one showed to the appointment. Big surprise, no one showed, so here I am.”

He snorts at me. “You’ve got a fucking death wish.”

“I just want help for my daughter, Nox. I get that and I’ll disappear again. Poof, like I never existed.”

The way he’s looking at me, I guess he’s wishing that I’d do that anyway. He’s probably thinking about how he can make that happen.

“Rav isn’t going to help you, and Sin’s in no condition to do shit right now.”

His words take a moment to sink in and when they do, I can’t help but smirk. I’m guessing him and Rav got into it last night. I can’t say I feel any remorse that Sin obviously took a beating.

Nox’s face pulls into a snarl. “You think this shit is funny? Pitting brother against brother?”

“I think Sin got exactly what he deserves.”

He deserves so much worse.

He tilts his head to one side, considering me like I’m a puzzle. “What’s going on there, Sash? Did something happen between you and Sin?”

I roll my eyes. “Do I need to teach you about the birds and the bees, Nox?”

This makes him chuckle, but there's no humour in it. “I’m not talking about you both getting your rocks off. I’m talking about the fact you seem a little pissed at the guy.”

I could answer. I could spill everything right now, but he’d never believe me. No one will. Sin told me that at the time. It’s the only truth he spilled that night and it’s the only truth I’ve been sure of over the past three years—that I wouldn’t be believed. I’m not big on trying to prove myself.

Instead, I hedge with, “You’d have to ask him.”

“I’m asking you.”

I eye him, my mouth twisting up at the corners.

“I’m not here to rehash the past, Nox. I’m here for my kid. Where’s Rav and Sin?”

“Not coming.”

I try a different tact, realising I’m never going to get through the wall he’s built between us.

“She’s a baby. She needs help.” I’m not above begging, if it gets me what I want. I’ll appeal to whatever side of Nox I have to. He’s not swayed though.

“You fucked around on Rav. You think he’s going to give a shit about helping you?”

I sigh at his outburst. “I’d prefer to hear that from his mouth.”

“Then hear it from my mouth,” Rav’s voice breaks through the tension. I glance to the side and see him crossing the tarmac towards us. “I don’t give a shit about helping you.”