He wanted to ask why she’d watched them, but held back, not sure he could handle the answer. “Savannah? Tell me what’s wrong,” he coaxed, carefully rubbing her bare back, but she remained still and quiet. He trailed his fingertips up to her shoulders, then back down to where her lower back dipped in. He let his hands venture farther, just to the edge of her panties, before sweeping his fingers up her spine again. He felt her breathing shallow out and grow faster.

God, how badly he wanted to touch her ass. To grip it in his palms and maybe even rain little smacks across it. She had a perfect ass, after all.

He continued massaging her back, and felt her slowly begin to relax into the mattress. But then she did something she shouldn’t have. She moaned and wiggled that little ass as she got more comfortable. Damn. Unable to resist her any longer, Cole brought both hands to her backside and cupped it in his palms needing to touch, to massage every part of her. Savannah let out another breathy moan and he thought his heart stopped. She lifted her bottom just slightly, as if to meet his hands. The skin was so soft, so smooth, and tempting as fuck. He wanted to pull her panties down and touch her bare ass, but he didn’t dare. Instead he continued rubbing her back, and letting his hands spend more and more time squeezing and cupping her ass as his hands wandered lower. Savannah’s breathing had quickened and she turned her head, no longer burying it in the pillow so she could fully watch him. The agony in her expression had disappeared and was replaced by desire and that burning curiosity he’d seen when she’d watched him with Sali.

“Cole,” she whispered.

Somehow he knew it wasn’t a command to stop, but an encouragement to go farther. He knew he shouldn’t, but fuck, he was so turned on. Just a little farther, he wouldn’t let himself do anything he shouldn’t, but he so badly wanted to taste her sweet skin, and feel her writhe against his mouth. He trailed his hands down the backs of her thighs, tickling the sensitive skin behind her knees, and when he brought both hands up over her ass, he let his fingers slip just inside the elastic so he could feel her bare skin, uninterrupted by the fabric. It was as far as he’d go without some signal from her that she wanted more. He continued kneading and massaging her plump flesh, his fingers working closer and closer to her little pussy. He wanted to know if she was wet, because he was hard as a rock and she hadn’t even touched him yet. She wouldn’t even need to touch him; he could probably come just thinking about her ass.

Savannah’s breathing became more erratic, and she lifted her hips just slightly, as if giving his hands better access to touch her down below, if he wanted to. With both hands now under the fabric of her panties, he bent and kissed the back of one thigh, then the other, planting open-mouthed kisses along her tender flesh. When his tongue lavished the skin at the back of her knee, her hips shot of the bed.

“Ah,” she gasped.

“Shh, I’ll make it better,” he promised. He kissed his way up her legs, and rained tender kisses over her backside, fighting the urge to nuzzle his face in between her cheeks. He didn’t want to scare her, but he did love her ass. With one hand pushing aside the fabric of her panties, his other found her slick heat. Fuck, she was soaking wet. His dick twitched against the confines of his jeans.

Savannah pushed back against his hand. He reveled in the soft feel of her little pussy, her plump lips, and the slick heat emanating from her. He swirled one finger at her opening, gathering the moisture he found there and swept his finger over the little swollen bud.

“Cole!” Savannah’s voice was insistent and sure. He knew he couldn’t leave her like this, he wanted to make her come more than he wanted his next breath. He slid her panties down her legs, still leaving her lying on her stomach so her ass was on display. His hands massaged the silken flesh, gripping her cheeks and spreading them so he could see the delicate pink puckered flesh there and then further down, to the slick dampness between her legs. It was insanely hot. His dick was harder than it’d ever been. His thumbs brushed against her backside, drawing over the tender flesh at her center and Savannah’s breathing hitched. He placed a kiss on her lower back and then urged her to roll over.She lay facing him against the pillow, her breasts rising and falling with each ragged breath she drew.

She was perfect. Her skin was taunt across her stomach and hips, her tits perky with pink nipples that were begging to be licked. He placed a sweet, damp kiss against her cheek, just at the corner of her mouth, and then moved down, nibbling the tender flesh of her neck, planting kisses along her collarbone, over her heart, before kissing each breast. His tongue lavished attention on her swollen nipples, suckling each one deep into his mouth while his tongue flicked back and forth. Savannah moaned loudly and thrashed against the pillow.

He shifted so he was lying beside her, his face level with her belly. With his eyes on hers, he parted her legs, and lowered his mouth to taste her. Savannah’s head dropped back to the pillow and her eyes rolled closed. He was too turned on to go slow and flicked his tongue ruthlessly against her, sucking her into his mouth until she was moaning, and writhing and calling his name. A few seconds later, he felt when she came, her little pussy spasming like it was clutching for something to fill it. But that would not be happening. He’d ice down his dick if he had to. Savannah wasn’t ready, and besides he wasn’t meant to be her first.

He kissed her thighs and belly until the aftershocks of her orgasm subsided, and then shifted on the bed to sit next to her.

“Colby…” she moaned. “I’m dizzy.” She clutched at the bed sheets, attempting to ground herself.

He smiled as pride swelled inside him. That must have been one powerful orgasm. He smoothed her hair back from her face, enjoying the look of bliss he put there.

She looked up at him with cloudy unfocused eyes. “Make the room stop spinning…” she groaned.

Wait a second… His stomach dropped. What the fuck? “Are you drunk?”

She let out a giggle. “Just a little.”

“Christ, Savannah.” He stood, and pulled her panties up her legs. This sooo should not have happened. Cole stepped away from her on shaky legs and adjusted the huge erection tugging against his zipper. Her wide eyes followed his movements. A twinge of disappointment colored her features, but Cole ignored it. He stalked out to the kitchen and found a bottle of vodka and the orange juice sitting on the island. Savannah had broken into his liquor cabinet like a damn rebellious teenager. Is this what her therapist had warned him about? She’d gotten drunk, and apparently horny, and he’d fallen for it, hook, line and sinker.

With the scent of her still clinging to his lips and fingers, Cole fled to the master bathroom. He dragged his jeans down just enough to free his erection and pumped a squirt of hand lotion into his palm. He rubbed it against his cock, pumping and thrusting his hips in time to match his hand’s frenzied movements. Only a few strokes later, he came with a breathy moan, emptying himself into the palm of his other hand.

After washing up, he returned to his bedroom and found Savannah sitting in the center of his bed.

Their eyes locked on each other’s, and he read hers for signs that she regretted what they’d done moments ago, but found none.

“It smells like her in here.” Savannah wrinkled her nose.

Cole began working to change the sheets and pillow cases. If she wasn’t going to bring up what he’d just done to her, neither was he. He gathered a clean set of sheets and tossed them on the mattress. He wouldn’t make Savannah sleep where he’d just bed another woman, but he also wouldn’t turn her away now. She’d been too vulnerable, let her guard down with him completely. And if this is where she wanted to be, he wouldn’t deny her. Couldn’t. Not now. Maybe not ever.

“Cole?” Her voice had a pleading quality, like she needed reassurance about where they now stood.

“Get in bed, Savannah.”

She turned for the door. His hand on her elbow stopped her. “No, in my bed. With me.”

She smiled and crawled in beside him, laying her head on his chest once they were settled in the darkness.

“I don’t want you drinking, Savannah.”

“I, I’m sorry. Are you mad at me?”

“No, I’m not mad at you.” Mad at himself was more like it. He shouldn’t have touched her. But now that he had, he wanted nothing more than to do it again and again. “Are you still drunk?”

“I’m not drunk. I only had a little bit while I waited for you to get home. I just wanted to see what it was like.”

He couldn’t be upset with Savannah. He’d left her alone tonight to go out with another woman. Savannah had gotten bored. She’d done what a lot of nineteen-almost-twenty-year-olds did on the weekends.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked, needing some indication of what was going on inside her head.

“Fine.”

“Just fine?” He smirked, turning to look at her.

She smiled against his skin, then yawned. “I’m sleepy. You stayed out late.”

He didn’t point out that she was most likely drained from the combination of the alcohol and the powerful orgasm he’d given her, rather than the late hour. “Was that okay, what happened in your room?”

“Yes. It’s just…”

“Just what?” he prompted, his heart kicking up speed. He didn’t want to hear her say she regretted it. He sure as hell didn’t.

“You didn’t kiss me. And you didn’t let me touch you.”

“You wanted that?”

She nodded, her face still turned down.

“Are you a virgin?” he whispered.

The muscles in her back tensed, and his hand stilled against her skin.

“Yes.”

Relief flooded his system. “Good. You’re going to stay that way.”

“But Cole…”

“No. Don’t say anything else right now. We’re not talking about that. Especially not when you’ve been drinking.”

She let out a deep sigh. “Can I just say one thing?”

He clenched his fist at his side, knowing it’d be futile to refuse her request. “One.”

She took a deep breath as if preparing to give a speech. “When I’m with Dr. White, or Marissa, they see me as a normal girl, with normal wants and needs — to be loved, to have physical affection—but sometimes I don’t think you see me like that. You still look at me like I’m the scared, crying girl you pulled out of that compound. I just want you to know — I want more.”

He took a second to let her words sink in. It had only been a few weeks. Did she really know what she wanted? Was she even capable of more right now? He didn’t want to think about her dating. In fact, the idea scared the shit out of him. But she was a bright, pretty girl. He couldn’t just keep her hidden away, no matter how much he might want to. Perhaps the alcohol had loosened her tongue some, but it was true, she didn’t sound drunk. Not at all. She sounded confident and sure. “That’s good Savannah. I want you to have those things too. You deserve all of that and more.” But he knew he was not the man for her. He could come up with a list of a thousand reasons why: he was too old for her; she needed more time to heal; he was married to his job; he wasn’t looking for a relationship; and the list went on and on. But tell that to his body. He wanted her, even though he knew it was impossible.

“Savannah?” he whispered in the darkness, unable to stop himself from following up on her comment about kissing him.

“Yes?”

“Have you been kissed before?”

“No.”

He closed his eyes. Just like he thought. “Okay. One goodnight kiss.” He knew it was a bad idea, that it would irrevocably change things between them, but damn he wanted to taste her lips, to be her first. He needed it like he needed his next breath.

He shifted and she lifted her head from his chest, allowing him to move over top of her. He hovered over her, lowering himself slowly until their bodies lay flush — his hips aligned with hers, his chest just brushing her hardened nipples and their mouths millimeters from touching. He held himself up on his elbows, and cradled her head in his hands, brushing strands of hair back from her face. Her breath came in fast little puffs against his lips. He took his time, unwilling to rush this. Angling her jaw to his, he lowered down to meet her waiting mouth.

Her lips were full and soft, and he pressed against her, deepening the kiss. Even if part of him knew he shouldn’t do this, she deserved to be kissed properly for her first kiss. Cole parted her lips, and when her tongue met his, eager and wet as it swirled against his, his dick went instantly hard again. She didn’t kiss like a beginner. He pressed himself into the crook between her legs, and Savannah automatically wrapped her legs around his waist and let out a ragged breath. The heat at her center cradled him and he ground his hips in closer, biting back a moan from the friction. His restraint was dangling by a thread. As fucking amazing as it felt, Cole broke the kiss, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop himself if they kept going. He pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. “There, now you’ve been properly kissed.”

She smiled up at him, her eyes blinking open lazily.

He chuckled at how damn cute she looked, sated and sleepy. “Just get some rest, okay?”

“Okay.” She rolled to her side, and nuzzled into the pillow.

Chapter 17

That Sunday, like every Sunday, Cole prepared for his visit with Abbie. It wasn’t so much that he wanted to go, more like he was obligated. He wouldn’t break their weekly appointment simply because he didn’t feel like going. Their relationship was much too complex.

He dressed casually, in jeans and a polo shirt. But he added a spray of cologne to his neck just because he knew it made her smile.