Eddie looked around the corner to see if any of the maids were skulking nearby. There were so many goddamn maids everywhere, no one had any privacy to steal a thing in this house. That’s when he heard the slow, deep moan. Ooaahhh!!! Ooooaaaahhh! It was coming from a door halfway down the hallway that had been left slightly ajar. Eddie quickly realized it was the suite where his cousin Adam and Piya Aakara were staying. He knew that Thais could be kinky, but would they really leave the door ajar like this while they were having their morning nooky? Anyone coming down this corridor could hear them. Then again, if that sexy Piya was his wife, he’d ride her into next week and not give a damn if the whole house could hear.

Eddie crept closer to the door, and a woman’s voice could be heard giggling. Suddenly, another guttural voice could be heard moaning over the first one. Gwaahhh! Gwaahhh! Wait a minute, there were two guys in the room. And then the second male voice moaned, Oh yeah, right there! Go deeper! Gwaaaaahhh! Eddie’s eyes widened as he recognized that voice. It was his brother, Alistair. What the fucky fuck was happening? Was Alistair having a ménage à trois with his Thai cousins right under his grandmother’s roof, while she lay dying? The sacrilege! Whenever he came to visit his grandmother, he always had the common decency of checking his latest mistress in to the Shangri-La Hotel nearby. He would never think of sleeping with anyone that wasn’t his wife in his dear Ah Ma’s house.

Eddie barged into the room in a self-righteous fit. “WHAT IN GOD’S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DO—” he began, and then he stopped in surprise. Piya was seated on the chaise lounge sipping her morning cappuccino, coolly elegant in a sleeveless kelly green silk faille top with matching faille pencil pants from Rosie Assoulin. Eddie swung around and discovered the most curious sight. Sitting at the foot of the silver-enameled four-poster bed was Alistair, stripped to the waist, and leaning over him was Uncle Taksin, digging his elbows deep into Alistair’s shoulders. Adam lay facedown naked on the bed while his mother straddled his thighs, massaging his lower back with coconut oil.

“Ooaahhh!” Adam groaned, as Piya continued to giggle.

“I told you boys to do some stretches before your badminton match, but you didn’t listen, did you?” Catherine chided, as she rubbed Adam’s lower back vigorously.

“Duuude, Uncle Taksin is giving me the best Thai massage on the planet! You really should try it,” Alistair said.

Eddie stared at the scene in disbelief. He couldn’t believe that the Thai prince was giving his brother a massage. “Um, shouldn’t your maids be doing this?”

“No…Mummy’s the best.” Adam sighed through his pillow.

Piya laughed. “All the Aakara boys have been spoiled by their parents giving them massages since they were little. Adam doesn’t even like it when I try to massage him—only Mummy will do.”

Catherine looked up at Eddie, her chin smeared with a drop of coconut oil as she kneaded her fingers deep into Adam’s butt muscles. “Do you want a massage? I’m almost done here.”

“Er…no, I’m fine, thanks. I’m not sore—I…I…only played the first set, remember?” Eddie stuttered, uncomfortable at seeing his auntie touch her own son down there.

“You don’t know what you’re missing.” Alistair sighed contentedly.

“I’m just on my way to see Ah Ma,” Eddie said, backing out of the room as fast as he could. Those Aakaras were such strange people. Imagine, giving their children massages when they had a posse of prostrating servants at their beck and call! He could hardly believe that Auntie Cat and his mother were sisters—they were such polar opposites. His mother was always so poised and ladylike, while Cat was this no-nonsense woman with tomboyish ways. Her arms, her face—practically the whole front of her body was smeared with coconut oil as she gave her son a massage. His mother didn’t even like putting moisturizer on her own hands. How the hell did Cat ever manage to snag a prince? Of all the sisters, his mother had clearly made the worst match, not including old maid Auntie Victoria, of course.

He entered his grandmother’s private study and saw his father huddled in conversation with Professor Oon. Malcolm Cheng was one of Asia’s most respected heart surgeons, and had only recently retired as the chief of the Cardiology Centre at Hong Kong Sanatorium. Professor Oon was one of his protégés, and he was obviously keeping close tabs on Su Yi’s condition.

“How’s the patient doing today?” Eddie said cheerily.

“Don’t interrupt when I’m talking!” His father scowled at him, turning back to Professor Oon. “And I’m really not happy with the fluid buildup in her lungs.”

“I know, Malcolm,” Professor Oon murmured worriedly.

Eddie went into the bedroom, where he found his mother rearranging the vases of flowers that had been sent to Su Yi. Every day, several dozen new arrangements were delivered to the house, along with cases upon cases of Brand’s Essence of Chicken.

“Mummy hates hydrangeas. Who sent them?” Alix said, opening the creamy thick envelope to look at the card. “Oh God, it’s from the Shears. Well, I suppose we have to keep the flowers here until Mummy wakes up to see them. She was so close to Benjamin. He was the doctor who delivered me, you know?”

“Oh look, I think she’s awake now!” Eddie said excitedly, as he ran over and crouched beside her. “Dear Ah Ma, how are you feeling today?”

Su Yi’s throat was too dry to talk, but she managed to mutter, “Water…”

“Yes, yes of course. Mother, Ah Ma needs some water now!”

Alix looked around and grabbed the nearest pitcher. “Tsk, why is this empty?” she said irritatedly, as she ran into the bathroom to refill it. She came back out and started to pour some of the water into the plastic cup with the sippy straw attached.

“Is that tap water? Are you trying to kill Ah Ma?” Eddie snapped at his mother.

“What do you mean? Singapore tap water is perfectly safe!” Alix argued.

“Ah Ma should only drink sterilized water in her condition. Where’s that damn Swiss water that the Aakaras have been guzzling nonstop? Why isn’t any of it in here? And where are her goddamn lady’s maids when you need them?”

“I sent them to prepare her breakfast.”

“Well, call down and get them to bring up some of the Swiss water too,” Eddie ordered.

Su Yi sighed, shaking her head in annoyance. Why were all her children so incapable of fulfilling this simple request?

Alix could see the look of frustration on her mother’s face and quickly decided to override her son. “Step aside Eddie, let me give her this water now.”

“No, no, let me,” Eddie insisted, grabbing the cup from her hands and leaning down at his grandmother while mustering his best Florence Nightingale expression.

When Su Yi was hydrated and feeling more revived, she gazed around her bedroom, as if searching for something. “Where’s Astrid?” she asked.

“Er…Astrid isn’t here at the moment,” Alix said, not wanting to mention anything about the unfolding scandal surrounding her niece. She made eye contact with Eddie, silently warning him not to say anything.