* * *

*1 Declared a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 2015, the Singapore Botanic Gardens is cherished by locals in the same way Central Park is by New Yorkers or Hyde Park is by Londoners. A verdant oasis in the middle of the island filled with amazing botanical specimens, colonial-era pavilions, and one of the most amazing orchid collections on the planet, it’s no wonder that so many Singaporeans want to have a tiny bit of their ashes scattered here. In secret, of course, since it’s highly illegal. (No one escapes the law in Singapore, not even the dead.)

*2 If you read China Rich Girlfriend, you’d already know what a pontianak is. But just in case you haven’t (and why the hell haven’t you?), allow Dr. Sandi Tan, the world’s foremost pontianakologist, to elucidate you: “A tropical female vampire-slash-dryad combo, often assuming the form of a comely, sarong-draped maiden, who inhabits the darker corners of the Southeast Asian jungle. Her metamorphosis into her true form will reveal: putrefying gray flesh, mucho teeth, many claws, accompanying unpleasant odors. Her traditional prey is the unborn fetus of a pregnant woman, consumed in situ, though during severe hunger pangs, any living person—even flatulent, stringy grandpas—would suffice. She can be summoned by tying a white string between two adjacent banana trees and intoning a chant of your own choosing, but she is more than capable of being an independent operator. Must not be confused with her inelegant country cousins, also female bloodsuckers, the penanggalan (bodiless flying she-demon with long, unwashed hair and a meaty chandelier of entrails) and the pelesit (an all-purpose slave, horrendously and pathetically devoted to her conjuror, with no agency of her own).”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHANGI AIRPORT, SINGAPORE

Oliver had just boarded his flight to London and was in the process of stealing an extra pillow from the seat behind him when Kitty called.

“Morning, Kitty,” he said cheerily, steeling himself for the barrage he knew was about to come. “Did you sleep well?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? That was the worst night of my entire life!”

“I know several billion people who would have happily traded places with you, Kitty. You got to attend one of Yolanda Amanjiwo’s legendary dinners. The world’s most acclaimed chef prepared a twelve-course tasting menu for you. Did you not enjoy that? I thought the langoustines were superb—”

“Ugh! That so-called genius chef from that de la cellar place should be locked in his own cellar and they should throw away the key!”

“Come on, aren’t you being a bit harsh? Just because you don’t appreciate deconstructed surrealist Catalan fusion cuisine doesn’t mean you should sentence him to the gallows. I could have eaten ten more plates of that jamón ibérico flash-frozen fried rice.”

“How could I possibly appreciate the food when I was being tortured? I’ve never been more humiliated in my life!” Kitty seethed.

“I don’t know what you mean, Kitty,” Oliver said lightly as he took the stack of in-flight magazines out of the seat pocket and shoved them into the pocket adjacent to him before the passenger arrived. Anything for the extra legroom.

“Everybody at the dinner curtsied to Colette! That snotty Swedish ambassador guy next to me glared at me when I didn’t move, but I’ll be damned if I curtsy to my own stepdaughter!”

“Well, Thorsten obviously did not know who you were. And Kitty, that whole curtsying thing was a complete farce. I don’t know which edition of Debrett’s Yolanda Amanjiwo is reading, but she was absolutely incorrect. A British earl does not have precedence over the First Lady of the country where he is nothing more than a visitor. They should have been bowing to her. But these Singaporeans are so awed by any ang mor with a two-bit title that they just bow and scrape away like subservient little toadies. I remember a time when the Countess of Mountbatten came to visit Tyersall Park, and Su Yi wouldn’t even come downstairs to receive her!”

“You’re missing the point. Everyone treated Colette like royalty all through the dinner. They were dressed like peasants and the people were still sucking up! That idiot on my right wouldn’t even lift his fork until Colette lifted her fork. And then the minute she was done with her dinner, we all had to stop. That Carolina Herrera–perfumed flan was the first thing I was actually enjoying, but then dinner abruptly ended and the royal couple was off.”

“The last thing I thought I’d ever wanted to eat was a dessert that tasted like Carolina Herrera, but it was superb, wasn’t it? Well, aren’t you at least glad the dinner passed with no incident? Colette didn’t try to insult you or cause a scene.”

“No, what she did was worse—she didn’t even acknowledge my presence! And I’m married to her father! The man who pays all her bills even though she won’t talk to him anymore! Do you know how hurt he feels? That ungrateful, spoiled little beast!”

“Kitty, I wouldn’t take it so personally if I were you. There were thirty of us in that ghastly room, sixty if you count the ridiculous footmen, and Yolanda was dominating every minute of Lucien and Colette’s time. Trust me, I was right opposite from them. You were on the other end of the table hidden behind those ridiculous birdcage centerpieces—I honestly don’t think she even saw you.”

“Colette saw me, I can assure you. She doesn’t miss a thing. Why was she even in Singapore anyway?”

“Lucien is an environmentalist, and they are going to be based in Singapore for the next month, that’s all. They’re on their way to Sumatra to observe the orangutan situation.”

“What orangutan situation?”

“Oh, it’s quite a tragedy. Thousands of orangutans are dying because of deforestation in their natural habitats. Colette’s become quite involved in orangutan orphan rescue.”

“That’s what you talked about? There was no mention of me? Of her father?”

“Kitty, I can assure you that the only people that were mentioned by name happened to be orangutans.”

“So she doesn’t know you and I have a connection?”

“She doesn’t. But what would it matter anyway? Why didn’t you just come over and say hi? Be the bigger person and welcome her to Singapore? That would have been the smart move,” Oliver said as he struggled to tuck his leather valise under the seat next to him.

“Hnh! I am her stepmother! She should introduce herself to me, not the other way around!”

“Wait a minute…are you saying you’ve never met Colette?” Oliver was genuinely shocked.

“Of course not! I told you, she hasn’t seen her father since she found out about our affair. And she wouldn’t come to the wedding. She hasn’t set foot in China in more than two years. She told him that he…that he was marrying a whore.”

Oliver could hear the tears in her voice, and he began to see the situation in a whole new light. No wonder Kitty had been traumatized when Colette made her grand entrance last night. In China, Kitty had been eclipsed by Colette in absentia, and here in Singapore, she had been eclipsed again in an even more dramatic fashion. A flight attendant gestured to Oliver. “Kitty, my flight to London is about to take off now, so I have to put away my phone.”