And I was assuming a lot here. Like the fact that I had registered enough on her radar for her to remember who I was. Because the two times I’d talked to her, I got the distinct impression that she thought me beneath her notice.

I called Shay and before I could speak, she said, “Did you figure out a way to get her last name?”

“I’m at Yuto’s and she’s here and it looks like she may be on a date.”

“Oooh.” She sounded way too excited. “How does she look?”

Like she always did? The same way she had when she’d been in my apartment earlier? “Like a shark wearing a human costume? Gorgeous but deadly? And she makes me feel inadequate in every way that a woman can possibly feel inadequate?”

“Well, that’s not true. You’re not a mother yet and that’s going to be a whole new level of inadequacies. I meant, is she dressed up?”

“I don’t know. She’s wearing a dress, but she was wearing the same thing at my house.”

“What kind of woman makes a guy what we’re calling soup and then meets up with another dude?”

Much as I didn’t want to be fair, in this instance I had to be. “You can’t mock the borscht. It was really good.”

My waitress came by then to ask what I wanted to drink and I told her just water. This was not a situation that needed to be alcohol fueled. It was important that I stay low-key and not start shouting things across the room at her.

Which may or may not have happened in some previous situations.

Shay asked, “Why are you in a sushi restaurant?”

So I explained the situation to her, leaving out the parts about the cost and Violet. Shay wouldn’t want me to have to owe anyone in my family and I wasn’t really in the mood to hash it out.

“Can’t you teach the dog not to chew on shoes?”

“Probably. But Tyler’s not really into disciplining Pigeon. He likes to spoil her.” Which I couldn’t blame him for, because she was the cutest and was usually such a good girl.

“That’s excellent,” she informed me.

“Why?”

“Because a man who spoils his dog will definitely spoil the woman he’s in love with.”

“Which is not me and is a very scary Russian woman who may or may not be cheating on him right this very second.” And if I was being honest, none of that was any of my business. I really had no right to be sitting here. “I shouldn’t be doing this. I feel like I’m breaching Tyler’s privacy.”

“More than when you were playing with his clothes?”

“I never should have told you that,” I muttered.

“Probably not,” she agreed. “This is probably some psychological thing. Where you stood by while Brad treated you like garbage so you’re not willing to stand by and see someone you care about get treated the same way.”

“What?” I asked, shocked by her assertion.

“Or I could be totally wrong. What’s she doing now?”

I glanced up, trying not to stare. “They’re just talking and they’re too far away for me to hear them. I should probably just go. Isn’t this technically stalking?”

“I say desperate times call for desperate measures and he is desperately hot and you’re just desperate, so stay put.”

“I’m not desperate—” I tried to protest, but she interrupted me.

“Speaking of desperate, have you told Brad to leave you alone and stop texting you? He gives love a Brad name.”

He had texted me two more times, but I didn’t mention it. “He knows not to. Maybe I should block his number. I told him he’s not the right guy for me.”

“That’s because Tyler is the right guy for you.”

I wished she could see me shaking my head. She needed to let the Tyler thing go. Even if I couldn’t do it myself. “I’m not ready to deal with my mother at the moment. One nuclear war at a time. Now shush. You’re distracting me from my stalking.”

“That’s so I can tell the police I tried to stop you from committing your crime when they accuse me of being an accessory after the fact.”

“Hate to tell you, Shay, but you’re an accessory during the fact.”

“Yeah, okay.”

I went silent, covertly watching Oksana and her date. I wished I could hear them. I could see only the side of Oksana’s face, so it was hard to tell if she was flirting or if she was just talking to him.

I tried to figure out why this bothered me so much. Why I was sitting here watching this woman when it literally had no bearing on my life. I figured it was probably because Brad had cheated on me so often and it infuriated me to think that someone might be doing this to a guy as nice as Tyler. He didn’t deserve it.

And yes, there was probably some small part of me that thought if she was cheating on him, it would free him up. To, you know, pursue other possible romantic entanglements.

But it was mostly indignation that anybody would want to hurt Tyler.

There was a staticky noise on my phone, like Shay was settling onto her couch as she spoke. “If you’re going to maybe commit a felony and invade someone’s privacy, the very least you could do is have the decency to keep up a running narration.”

“Nothing’s happening.”

“We will solve this mystery! All we need now is a Great Dane, a van, and a stoned hippie friend. Oh! Maybe Delia counts as our hippie friend!”

One of the servers dropped off my water, but I was too busy watching Oksana and her friend to take a drink.

Shay said, “Tell me about the other guy. What does he look like?”

“Older, silver-fox type. Handsome but definite gray in his hair.” Tyler was vastly better looking, but I could admit this guy was a hottie. “Maybe he’s her modeling agent.”

“Or her handler,” Shay offered. “Or her dad.”

Then Oksana climbed into the man’s lap. They started kissing and I said, “Oh! Oh! Not her dad unless she’s a Lannister from Game of Thrones.” I knocked my water glass over in my excitement at this turn of events. It clattered onto the ground, loudly. It didn’t break but everyone around me turned to stare.

I ducked my head and tried to clean up the spilled water with my linen napkin. Oksana stopped kissing the man and started to turn in my direction. Ack! She was going to see me!

Without thinking I slid under the table. One minute I was sitting in my booth, the next I was under a table, praying she hadn’t seen me.

My phone was still glued to my ear and I could hear Shay say, “You know I don’t speak nerd television! What does Lannister mean?”

“It means he’s definitely not her dad as they’re kissing and I’m currently under a table to avoid being caught because I knocked over my glass and it fell on the ground and it was loud and now I don’t know what Oksana’s actually capable of and what she might do if she finds me.”

“This evening in This Is Not Going To End Well . . .”

As if her words were prophetic, a pair of feet came walking toward me. Please don’t let it be Oksana, please don’t let it be Oksana . . .

The universe finally seemed to be on my side as it turned out to be my waitress. She stuck her head under the table. “Is there something I can help you with?”