Everything was unraveling and I couldn’t see the end anymore. I lathered body wash in my hand and ran it over my body. I was f**king losing it. Losing everything and becoming caught up in something that I wasn’t sure was even real when it happened. My hand made a second pass over my dick, and I gripped it, remembering what her soft, delicate fingers felt like against me.

I closed my eyes and hoped that getting off would help clear my head. It was a small crime to think of her while I came, but my body wouldn’t comply. I had the real thing locked up in the next room and I wanted another taste. At least I would die a happy man.

I turned off the water and pushed open the curtain. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and couldn’t look myself in the eye. I wrapped a towel loosely around my waist and made my way to my room to grab the keys for the spare bedroom. I unlocked her door before I could second guess myself. I needed to get her out of my system.

“I want to play a game.” I stood over Rose as she sat on the edge of the mattress.

“What kind of game?” Her eyes travelled up my stomach, finally resting on my face. I reached down and cupped her cheek in my hand. I loved looking down at her as nervousness and anticipation overtook her.

“You scared, sweetheart?” I ran my thumb over her cheekbone as she sucked her lower lip into her mouth. “Don’t do that.” I stuck my thumb into her mouth to free it and her tongue grazed the tip of my finger. “That’s dangerous, Rose. You’re making my c**k hard.”

“You called me Rose.” A glint of excitement flashed in her eyes.

“Do you trust me?”

“You’re the only person I trust.”

“Stand up.” I waited for her to push to her feet before grabbing the towel on her body and yanking it off her. It fell to the floor around her feet. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” I grabbed my towel, pulling it from my hips and dropping it on top of hers. Her eyes fell to my c**k that was hard and ready for her before moving back up to mine. “I’m going to f**k you, and I won’t be nice about it.”

She sucked in a quiet breath as I reached out and ran my fingers over her clit.

“Go lie on my bed and wait for me.”

Part of me wanted to talk myself out of what I was doing. I knew there was no coming back from the feelings I was allowing, but I didn’t really care. It was a crippling addiction and I didn’t want the cure. I had convinced myself that if we were f**king it wasn’t the same as making love, and there was a difference. I knew better but for the time being it made it all seem all right.

I strode into my bedroom, determined to prove myself wrong. I could indulge and not get hurt. This game we played as Lily and Colt didn’t change who we really were or what had happened between us. The difference would come in my ability to walk away from her when this was all over and not lose myself in her memory like I had before.

She was a vision of submissive perfection, sprawled out over my bed with her legs spread. She unabashedly ran her fingers over her pu**y as her tongue ran slowly over her lower lip.

I kept my eyes glued to her as I walked to my dresser and pulled the handcuffs from the drawer. I dangled them from my finger as I smiled down at her. Her tits heaved as she became nervous, her fingers slowing to a stop.

“Did I tell you to stop?” I crawled up the end of the bed between her legs, hovering over her body until we were eye to eye. The head of my c**k brushed against the back of her hand as she continued to play with herself. I took her free hand and secured the handcuff around one wrist and the other end in a slat of the headboard. “Do you want me to f**k you?” I asked as my fingers slid over her cuffed wrist and trailed lightly down the exposed underside of her arm. She shivered as it tickled her and her damp fingers circled my c**k as she pushed the head against her clit and began to slowly rub it over her.

“I want to f**k you, Rose. I want to do it on my terms. It may hurt but in a very good way.”

“I want you,” she whispered and I smiled, brushing her hair from my face. My body jerked as my sensitive head pressed harder against her pu**y.

“I need you to trust me completely,” I panted as I wrapped my fingers around hers and began to rub harder.

“I do. I promise I do.”

“I know you do, sweetheart, and now you’re going to prove it. If you want me to stop I promise you I will. All you have to do is say the word and I will stop whatever I am doing.” Part of me felt like I was still making her pay for the past. I needed to know she wasn’t going to run from me again.

“I’ll tell you to stop if it is too much.”

“I expect you to beg me to stop. It’s in your nature. You don’t want to be the bad girl that you are.” I pushed the head of my c**k into her tight hole and her breath caught. “I like that about you. I like how innocent you are when inside you’re hoping I f**k you.” I pulled back and pushed against her entrance again. “If it becomes too much say storm and I promise you I will stop. Seems fitting given our past.” Rose and I had always used variations of safe words together, but under very different circumstances. She nodded as her eyes fell to my lips and I knew she was waiting for me to kiss her.

“Say the word, Rose. Tell me your safe word.”

Her eyebrows pulled together as I teased her. I smiled, loving how lost in the moment she was, but I couldn’t continue until I knew she knew how to stop me. I wanted to lose control with her, but I wanted her to be safe. I planted kisses down her chest, rolling my tongue over her nipple and placing a trail of quick kisses down her stomach. I loved the smell of her when she wanted me, and I needed to taste her, to feel her against my tongue. I pushed my lips against her mound as I would her mouth, running my tongue over her entrance. She cried out and held her legs open as they involuntarily pulled closed. I wanted to lick up every drop of her excitement, but I was getting ahead of myself. This was about more than what we had done before. This was about making Rose mine and taking her.

I backed off her body and grabbed her hip.

“Roll over, darlin’. I want to see that perfect ass.”

I helped her flip over, careful not to hurt her wrist that was cuffed to the headboard.

“Up on your knees.” I helped her slide up until her ass was raised high in the air and I had a perfect view of her pu**y from behind. I palmed her ass cheeks in each hand and ran the tip of my tongue over her slit and up her lower back. She moaned quietly, the sound muffled by my pillow. “I want to make you feel good, sweetheart.” I ran my fingers between her lips and slid my fingers over her back hole, slicking it with her juices. She didn’t object or pull away. “I’ll do things that you may not think you will like, but will f**king enjoy, I promise you.” My hand came down fast and hard on her left ass cheek and her body lurched forward, more from shock than pain. “Some things may be too much and you need to know your safe word to have me stop.” I ran the palm of my hand over the pink hand print to soothe her, letting the tips of my fingers brush against her dampness. “Only you know your limits. Now tell me what your safe word is.”

“Storm.”

“Good girl.” I rubbed her clit and she rocked her hips, looking for her release. I looked over her, face down and chained to my bed, and my c**k strained. She was mine. She was giving herself to me for whatever I wanted. As my pointer finger glided over her pu**y, I rubbed the pad of my thumb over her little ass. She only hesitated for a second before she fell back into her rhythm.

I slipped two fingers into her with my right hand and let her ride me for a minute before using my index finger on my left and pushing against her backside. She continued to pant and I pushed it farther, moving it in time with my other fingers.

“You like that, sweetheart?” I replaced my two fingers with my dick and let her slowly rock back onto me as I pushed my finger deeper into her ass, letting her gauge the level of penetration. I knew it was her first time and I didn’t want to do too much at once and overwhelm her.

“Yes,” she moaned as she took my c**k deep inside of her. She leaned back and hesitated so I wrapped my other arm around her and began to rub her clit. Her breathing was heavy and I knew she was getting ready to come. I pulled out of her and pushed my dick against her ass. All I could smell was her excitement. “Take me inside of you, darlin’.” I pushed against her ass as I pinched her clit between my thumb and forefinger. “If you give this to me I promise I will make you come.” She eased back against me slowly as I gripped her hip and helped pull her onto me. My head pushed inside of her ass and I groaned at the new sensation. “Good girl.” I began to rock my hips slowly as I rubbed her.

It didn’t take long for her to relax and begin to enjoy herself. I loved watching her back muscles flex and pull as her body bowed, taking me deeper and deeper into her. My balls clenched and my body tightened as she cried out, consumed by pleasure. I erupted inside of her as her own come dripped onto my fingers. I bent over and placed a soft kiss in the center of her back before pulling out of her.

“Don’t move, sweetheart.”

I got off the bed and went into the bathroom. I grabbed a washrag and ran it under the water in the sink, dumping liquid soap onto it and working it into a lather. I cleaned myself up quickly before grabbing another rag and filling it with soap for Rose.

She sat still on the bed, her ass still raised in the air for me. I ran the warm clothe between her legs, cleaning her and massaging to ease any discomfort. She let me care for her with no reluctance.

Afterwards I helped ease her onto her back. I grabbed the handcuff key from the drawer and released her wrist, leaving it attached to the bed. I placed kisses across the small red line that the cuff had left and crawled into bed beside her, pulling her tight against my chest as I always had when we were younger. She trusted me just as she did then, and it overwhelmed me to know someone was willing to put their life into my hands.

I kissed the top of her head as we tangled our limbs and drifted off to sleep.

I awoke nearly two hours later with a panicked feeling inside my chest. I wasn’t right to let Rose trust me. I couldn’t keep her safe. Coming back into her life had only caused her to be in more danger then she ever had. I needed to eliminate every possible threat to her. I needed to give her the life she deserved. I was failing her. I slid out of her grasp, looking down at her as she slept peacefully. She wasn’t worried because she trusted me.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and grabbed my cell phone. I paced the wood floor in the living room as I waited for Brock to answer.

“I need an update on Craig.” I ran my hand over my messy hair as I glanced into the bedroom at Rose, who hadn’t moved.

“What is your obsession with this guy?”

“Brock, I need to know.”

He sighed and I could hear him fumbling with something for a few seconds before he responded.

“Craig is out. He got out a few days ago. I wanted to tell you…”

“You wanted to tell me? Why in the f**k would you keep that from me?”

“He skipped out, didn’t visit his parole officer. What was I supposed to do? I wanted to find him before you did.”

“You were supposed to keep him inside.” I glanced into the bedroom. I had let her down again. I wasn’t protecting her, and now we had another ass**le to look out for.

“I’ll take care of it.” I replied.

“What does that mean? Bishop, that girl is long gone. She is the past. You need to think about your future.”

I hung up and tossed my phone aside.

“Fuck!” I growled as everything began to crumble around me.

I had her back. I held her in my arms, I had been inside of her and now I was going to be the death of her. Why was this happening? What had I done to deserve to lose her twice?

I watched her sleep for the next forty-five minutes. She smiled and her eyelids fluttered as she dreamed. I felt like I was dying inside. I wanted to hold her, to feel her skin against mine but I knew she would be able to feel the panic inside of me.

I couldn’t take it any longer. I needed to do something to occupy my mind until she woke. I went into the kitchen and began pulling out everything in the cupboards. I was going to make one of my favorite dishes, one that Amber had cooked for me when she lived with me for a few weeks. It had been comforting to have a woman take care of me when I felt like I was completely alone.

I prepared our dinner as my mind got lost in all that was happening. I was willing to risk it all, lose my life if necessary, but I needed to know why. Why now?

Rose wandered out of the bedroom in my T-shirt, rubbing her hand over her eyes. Her hair was a wild mess and she looked absolutely incredible. I set our plates on the coffee table along with two glasses of apple juice.

“Come eat,” I called out to her as I sank down on the couch. Every emotion coursed through my veins as I watched her cross the room with a smile on her face.

“That smells good.”

“It’s beef Stroganoff. A friend taught me how to make it.” She smiled as she sat beside me. She lifted a bite and blew on it before taking it into her mouth. We ate in silence for a few minutes, and I turned on the television just to give us a little background noise and hopefully drown out the doubts that flooded my mind.

“I know how you found me with the news broadcast of my arrest, but I still don’t know the why.”

She sighed and grabbed her glass of juice, taking a long sip. I knew she didn’t want to answer or was about to lie. The body has a noticeable reaction to most situations; if you know what to look for, it is easy to pick up on someone’s true intentions.

“I just…wanted to see you.” She took a bite of her food and made a moaning sound as she savored it.