Shiver Page 50
I couldn’t decide if she meant it or not. Nonetheless, I said, “You, too.” When the door closed behind her, I looked up at Blake. “I take it the update is related to the project you, her, and Bastien are working on.”
“It is.”
Okay, his evasiveness pissed me off right then. I’d just revealed a fuck of a lot to him, and he was still locked up tighter than Fort Knox.
“There are things—”
“You can’t tell me. Right.” I narrowed my eyes. “But I have to wonder if the truth is that you just don’t want to tell me.”
He didn’t say anything. Just stared down at me. And I knew I was right.
“Our project … let’s just say that the three of us have a common enemy and we’ve banded together to take care of it. That’s as much as I’ll say, Kensey. I told you, I don’t want my shit touching you.”
“But you don’t care if it touches Tara.”
“Tara’s not mine,” he said simply, as if that made her someone else’s problem or something. “She knows about it because it’s linked to her brother’s suicide.”
“Have you ever—” I gave a quick shake of the head. “Forget it.”
“No, I haven’t slept with Tara,” he said, correctly guessing what my question would have been. “She’s no more my type than I am hers. Trust me when I say she’s far more likely to be tempted by you than by me.”
My mouth almost dropped open. “Oh.”
“Oh.”
I bit my lip. “Are you ever going to take me down to B3?”
His face blanked. “No.”
“What happens down there?”
“Not more sex, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
I had in fact wondered if some heavier BDSM activity went on down there. “Is it something illegal?”
“It’s nothing terrible, Kensey. Really. But it’ll make you ask questions I’m not ready to answer. Questions you’re not ready to hear the answers to.”
Like I was too delicate to handle reality? “I’m not fucking fragile.” I wasn’t Clear.
He tucked my hair behind my ear. “No, you’re not fragile. You’re strong. Tough.” The pride with which he’d said that warmed my insides. “But just like I don’t think you’d want me walking into a visitation room to have a sit-down with Bale, I don’t want my baggage to touch you. Is that wrong?”
I wanted to say ‘yes’ and demand he tell me everything, but I couldn’t … because he was absolutely right. I wouldn’t want him anywhere near Michael; I would feel like I was letting my baggage soil him. I’d be a hypocritical bitch if I pushed this, which was no doubt exactly why he’d cleverly worded his case that way. “This common enemy—”
“Will never step foot in your life. They will never speak to you, never touch you, never even see you. You’re completely detached from the situation, and that’s the way it will stay.”
“What you’re saying, then, is that if I want to be with you, I have to accept that there are things you’ll never tell me about yourself?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. One day, I’ll lay it all out for you. But it won’t be anytime soon.”
In other words, he wouldn’t tell me unless he could be sure we were solid. I understood that. You only bared your soul if you absolutely had to, and only if you trusted that person with what you held inside. I would never expect him to trust me so soon, and we had a long way to go before we could claim to be solid.
“I need you to accept that, Kensey. Can you?”
I sighed. “You really will tell me one day?”
“One day,” he agreed. His hands framed my face. “Don’t walk away, Kensey. I’ve lived a jaded life around a lot of jaded people. You’re my good thing.”
Good thing? I threw him a skeptical look.
“I hold a mean grudge and I tend to expect the worst from people. Your life has been no easy ride and you’ve seen human nature at its worst, but you’re not cynical or bitter or self-destructive. You don’t act like the world owes you a favor. You don’t wear your pain like a badge, thinking it gives you a special pass to do what the fuck you like to whoever you like. Having said that, you’re no angel,” he added with a smile. “You’re not all sweetness and light, which is good because I couldn’t relate to someone like that. And my girl needs spunk and attitude to deal with me.” He paused to give me a soft kiss. “Like I said, you’re my good thing. I want you safe. Happy.”
He’d have a hell of a time ensuring that, given everything that was happening. “That’s sweet and all, but I consider myself responsible for my own happiness. And I’m quite capable of taking care of myself. I’m not saying I don’t appreciate you being protective; I’m just reminding you that I’m no damsel in need of a white knight—or even a dark one, for that matter.”
“I’m no knight of any color. But I will protect you, damsel or not. And you won’t fight me on it, because you know there’s no point. Just as you know there’s no point in trying to walk away from me. I’m not a good bet, but I want you to take that bet—as you may have noticed from how hard I pushed you to give into me, I’m a selfish bastard when it comes to you. And we’ve tumbled too far down the rabbit hole to turn back now.”
“Why do you think you’re not a good bet?”
“I told you, I’d never physically hurt you. But you said it yourself that day at the diner, I won’t be good for you. I haven’t been good for you so far, have I?”
“Actually, you have in some ways.” And it had only really occurred to me at that very moment.
He didn’t appear whatsoever convinced. “What ways would those be?”
“I don’t like change—even to the point where I don’t like adding new people into my life—but it’s not a good thing to stay in a rut. You forced your way in, plucked me right out of my comfort zone, and made me try something new. My last boyfriend cheated on me, so my confidence wasn’t at its best, but you boosted it. And, well, this may sound weird but I don’t feel like Michael Bale’s stepdaughter when I’m with you. For many people, that’s primarily what they see. You just see Kensey.”
A fierce intensity gathered behind his eyes, and he sifted his hands into my hair. “I see my Kensey.” His mouth slammed down on mine. The reaction was instant and elemental. Need exploded between us. Red-hot waves of molten lust flooded me. My blood heated and sparked. The air turned thick and electric with the chemistry that had relentlessly smashed through every defense I had.
He savagely feasted on my mouth, nipping, licking, and sinking his tongue inside—an explicit tease of exactly what I hoped he meant to do to my pussy. Kisses shouldn’t be addictive, but his were so searing, hungry, and consuming. I couldn’t get enough.
His hands snaked under my dress, cupped my ass, and lifted me against his solid, powerful body. All that hard muscle and latent strength was like a total aphrodisiac. I wrapped my legs around him as he walked behind his desk and set me down on the edge.
I let out a little squeal at the feel of the cool marble against my ass. His chuckle was distinctly wicked and unrepentant.