I beam. “Yeah, I do.”

“Damn you.”

I laugh. “Remind me never to drink again, though. Honestly.”

“So Bryce’s party is out tonight?”

I frown. “He’s having another one?”

She nods. “Yeppers, you keen?”

I shrug. “Sure, but no alcohol.”

She laughs. “Sounds good, because you smell.”

I lean down and smell my shirt. Ugh, I so do. “Right, shower time.”

“Hey Ari?” she says when I stand.

“Yeah?”

“You know I’m always here for you, right?”

I smile and my lips tremble. “God yeah, I know that.”

She gives me a warm smile. “Good.”

“I’m showering, then we’ll go for a walk.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I walk off towards my room. Just as I reach the door I hear a grunt and turn, looking towards Blade’s room. I narrow my eyes and walk towards it, pressing my ear to the door. I can’t hear anything else, so I gently crack it open. What I see has me gasping softly. He’s sitting on the bed, side on to me. He’s got his head dropped, but his hand is wrapped around his cock and he’s stroking softly.

Oh. God.

I should walk away, I really, really should, but I can’t. I don’t want to move my eyes off the beautiful sight before me. His bare back is flexing as his hand moves and his biceps are bulging. His hair is falling over his face and that cock, oh God that cock. Heat pools between my legs and I whimper quietly. I want to go in there; I want to feel him, touch him, help him.

“Fuck it, Aria, if you don’t walk away I’ll drag you in here.”

I flinch. He knows I’m watching him? How?

He turns his head and stares at me. “Did you hear me?”

I swallow and nod, but I don’t move. He stares at me, moving his hand over his cock and god dammit, it’s beautiful. I can’t help it; I take a step inside and close the door behind me, flicking the lock. He shakes his head, but I don’t want to stop and I don’t want to walk away.

“Don’t,” he breathes. “Baby please. I won’t be able to stop.”

My eyes drop to his cock. “I forgot how beautiful you were,” I say.

He groans as if in agony. “Please,” he rasps. “Don’t come over here, because it’ll take everything inside me not to fuck you, and we both know I can’t do that.”

I’m breathing so heavily I actually press my hand to my heart. He keeps stroking and I can’t take my eyes off it. He doesn’t want to stop, I know that—he likes that I’m watching.

“Does it feel good?”

His jaw tightens. “Fuck, yeah.”

“Are you thinking about me?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you remember how good it felt to be inside me?”

He grunts. “Stop it, darlin’. I can’t take it.”

My heart melts. He hasn’t called me that since we’ve been back, and I love it. I take another step forward and he doesn’t stop me. I walk over until I’m in front of him. I kneel down, staring at his cock and his gorgeous hand working it over.

“Don’t,” he warns in a ragged voice. “Fuckin’ don’t.”

He means that; I can hear it in his voice. I know I shouldn’t too, but I can’t stop watching him. I love nothing more than seeing a man pleasuring himself, especially when I know he’s thinking of me. I look up at him and his eyes are pinned to mine, and god, he looks beautiful. His face is flushed and his jaw is so tight I want to kiss it until it relaxes.

Kissing.

I can kiss him, right? I mean, he kissed me just before.

I push to my feet and move forward. He opens his mouth to say something in protest but I crush my mouth over his. He groans into it and then we’re kissing. It’s beautiful and deep, our tongues are dancing and god, he’s making my body ache for him. We don’t touch; nothing but our lips. He makes guttural sounds and when he does, I kiss him deeper. I suck his bottom lip. I nip his tongue.

Then he bites down on my lower lip and his body jerks. I know he just came, because his body stops jerking from the movement of his hand. I pull back and stare down at him. His hand is coated in his release and my heart aches for more. I look back up into his eyes, and damn, if I don’t see desire in those depths. He wants me as much as I want him, yet we both can’t have it.

“I have to walk away now,” I whisper. “Or I won’t.”

He nods and I step back. My eyes travel down his ripped body once more and my heart lurches. Pain radiates through my chest, because I realize in that moment there’s a good chance I love Blade. That’s not good. I have to stop this, and stop it now. I turn and hurry towards the door, but when I reach it he calls, “Tulip?”

I turn. “Yeah?”

“Don’t ever come in here again.”

I nod and swallow back my tears, then I rush into my room.

Heartbreak . . . it sucks.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

NOW

“You look gorgeous, honey,” Mom says as I enter the living area that night.

I force a smile. “Thanks.”

“That dress is amazing on you.”

I hug her and then step outside where Ripley, Brody and Melanie are waiting for me. Melanie looks stunning tonight; her black dress is tight and shimmery, and does amazing things to her legs. Her hair is down and curled; she looks beautiful. She’s talking to Ripley, so she can’t see that Brody is watching her. I smile and he notices and quickly looks away.