Since that wasn't what he was talking about and the last goddamn thing on his mind at the moment it took him a few minutes to figure out what the hell she just said.

"You're going for certification?" She nodded. "For what?"

"Dispatch and teaching First Aid and CPR."

He frowned, surprised that she'd listened to him and was actually going with it. Well, that had been easy. Maybe a little too easy, he realized as he narrowed his eyes on her.

"Are you taking a job in dispatch?" he asked, already deciding that would probably be the perfect job for and most importantly it would get her the hell out of a truck where she didn't belong.

The stubborn woman shook her head. "No, I want the certification. I talked to Bill and after I go through on the job training they're going to hire me for dispatch as per diem to cover shifts and keep my skills up."

"Then you plan on teaching First Aid and CPR fulltime?" he asked, wondering how the hell she expected to make enough money to support herself doing that, but if that's what she wanted he'd make damn sure that it happened.

Again she shook her head. "No, I talked to Bill and he said after I passed he'd give me the part time job if I wanted it. I think I'm going to take him up on it."

"Wait," he said, trying to clear his head. "Then what the hell are you planning to do for a living?"

She looked over and frowned. "What I'm doing now."

He stared at her for a moment, wondering if she was kidding. Judging by the way she met his glare head on he figured that she was dead serious. That was a problem for him, because he needed her the hell off the truck as soon as possible.

"Why the hell would you keep working on the truck when dispatchers get paid more?" he demanded, trying to keep his tone even.

"Because I love what I do," she said with a shrug. "But you had a good point the other day so I decided to look into a few things and this way I'll have something to fall back on."

She was kidding. She had to be.

"You don't need something to fall back on, Joe, because I would always take care of you!" he snapped, feeling his patience fray. "What you need to do is find a safer job so that I don't have to worry about you every f**king minute of the day!"

"We've been over this, Eric. That's not your job," she said tightly as she buckled her seatbelt with clipped motions.

"The hell it isn't," he said, snatching the microphone, realizing they needed to put a little distance between them or they were likely going to kill each other, or at the very least he was going to spank some sense into her ass.

"Dispatch, this is Echo seventeen, are we clear to return to base?" he asked, ignoring the glare Joe was sending his way.

"Echo seventeen, you're clear," dispatch answered.

He threw the ambulance into drive and headed back to base. The entire time neither spoke or so much as looked at the other. By the time they reached the fire house his chest was tight and he felt sick.

How the hell did they get back to this point? He didn't want her mad at him. He wanted her safe and happy and he kept pissing her off, but then again she was pissing him right the hell off so it was okay.

"Asshole," she muttered as she climbed out of the ambulance and slammed the door shut before she stormed inside, leaving him sitting there feeling like the biggest ass**le on earth and wonder why the hell it hurt so damn much when she was unhappy?

Chapter 19

"Jerk," she muttered as she pulled her boots off and threw them at the cement wall. It made her feel marginally better, but not by much. Hunting down Eric so that she could put him in a headlock would make her feel a hell of a lot better, she decided even as she pulled off her uniform shirt, leaving her in a tight baby blue tank top.

She climbed into bed only to climb back out seconds later when she decided it was too damn hot and she was too damn aggravated to try and sleep in her pants. Tonight she just wanted to sleep through the rest of her shift, go home and take her anger out on cleaning her attic.

Twenty seconds after the light was shut off and she was curled up in bed and she felt like crying. She hated fighting with Eric, absolutely hated it. There was a reason why she was so quick to forgive him, because staying mad at him hurt like hell.

She still remembered the time they were ten and she'd worked all day cleaning out Mrs. Pembroke's garage. At the end of the day she was dirty, tired, sweaty and five dollars richer. Excited that she finally had enough money for a new bike, well new to her anyway, she ran all the way home.

Of course she hid her money in her shoe before she walked into the apartment she'd shared with her mother and her mother's boyfriend of that week. After double checking that the coast was clear she dug the rest of her money out of an empty Comet can she'd cut the bottom off and had hidden among the cleaning supplies, knowing it was the last place her mother would ever think to look.

Once she had all of her money she raced out of the house and ran all the way to the church's thrift shop where she'd seen a used pink bike with a slight touch of rust early that morning. When she spotted the bike still outside the thrift store she ran inside and bought it without a second's hesitation.

She'd been so excited to have her own bike. She didn't care that the tires were flat and the chain was rusted, the bike was hers. After deciding that Eric and Nathan just had to see her bike she pushed it to their house, placed the bike against the garage and ran inside the house. She didn't stop searching until she found one of them. Without a word she dragged Nathan away from his video game and back outside only to come to an abrupt halt when she didn't see her bike.

The horrible sound of metal being bent drew her attention to the garbage truck in front of the house and Eric walking towards them. Her eyes darted from Eric to the truck, back to Eric before she launched herself at him. Ten minutes later Alice had them each by the ear and demanded to know what happened. When she told her what Eric did his expression became pained.

Even at ten he thought it was his job to take care of her and it just about killed him to know that he'd done something to hurt her. After he explained that he thought it was garbage his father had left against the garage for him to bring to the curb she forgave him. She was still upset about the bike, but she just couldn't stay mad him, knowing how upset he was over the whole thing.

Of course Eric made it up to her. Three months later he banged on her apartment door, interrupting her peanut butter sandwich dinner to drag her downstairs to show her the new bike he'd bought her. He'd saved up his allowance, done extra chores around the house and even worked for the neighbors to save up the money to buy her a bike. It had been the sweetest and most thoughtful thing anyone ever did for her.

It was things like that that made it so damn hard to be mad at him. He screwed up, a lot, but he always made it up to her. She knew he never meant to hurt her even when he was being a pigheaded jerk like now. He wanted her safe and she was.

She was careful at work, followed her training and never took stupid chances, but that incident more than a week ago made him nervous and now after twelve years on the job together he was letting his fear cause problems in their relationship. They worked great together and she knew that all he needed was a little time before he realized that. Until then she'd have to resign herself with him being an ass**le.

When the door opened she tensed, waiting for the fight to continue. She didn't want to fight with him. She hated fighting with him. All she wanted to do was go back to the way things were before he said those things that hurt her and before he kissed her, robbing her of her sanity and made her wonder about things that she had no business even thinking about.

"Joe?" he said softly.

Instead of answering him she closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. It was cowardly, she knew that, but she wasn't sure how much more she could take. She was glad that he didn't insist on coming with her this week like he normally would have done. They both needed some time apart to think about a few things. If things didn't change by the time she got back, meaning they weren't able to go back to the way things were between them before they'd both messed up then she was going to ask for a transfer to another station.

She laid there as she listened as he pulled his boots off. She thought about asking him to leave so that she could get some sleep and avoid another argument, but instead she just laid there soaking up his presence. When she felt the bed dip and he curled his body around her seconds later she felt like crying. She hated fighting with him, hated not being able to go to him with her problems, and hated feeling like a part of her was dying.

"I am so sorry, Joe," he whispered, gently pushing her hair away from her face and neck. "I know I keep f**king up," he said, pressing a kiss to her neck, "and that by all rights you should bitch slap me, but I can't stand the idea of you getting hurt."

His hand found its way to her panty clad hip and gave her a gentle squeeze. "It kills me to think of what could have happened that night, Joe," he explained softly as he pressed another kiss to her neck. "Do you have any idea how lost I would be without you?"

"You're my entire world, Joe," he said, pressing another kiss to her neck, this time lingering. "I don't know what I'd do without," he said against her skin.

Nibbling her lip, she turned onto her back and reached up with her right hand to cup his jaw, loving the way the stubble felt against her hand. "And what the hell do you think I'd do without you?" she demanded.

His large warm hand landed on her stomach, gently caressing her skin. "Everything would be okay. Nathan would watch out for you and take care of you, Joe," he said soothingly as he pressed a warm kiss to her forehead.

"I don't need anyone to look out for me!" she snapped, sick of this constant babying. When exactly did she become a weak needy woman in his eyes? It was really insulting. She was anything but weak and he damn well knew it.

He sighed heavily even as his hand continued to caress her stomach through her thin shirt. "Yes, you do."

"What the hell is it going to take for you to realize that I can take care of myself?" she demanded, trying not to sound hurt, but probably failed miserably. She didn't want to appear weak and needy in his eyes. She wanted.......

Hell, she didn't even know what she wanted, but she knew she didn't want that. She didn't want him hanging around because he thought that she needed a keeper.

"If I thought having a boyfriend in my life would get you to back off I'd run out and get one," she said, not noticing the way his hand suddenly stilled on her stomach, "but we both know that wouldn't help since you become a complete jerk whenever I'm dating someone."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked tightly and she wished she could see his expression. This little news flash really couldn't be a shock. Everyone knew that when she dated someone Eric developed a raging case of PMS.