More than once he had some woman he was dating flip out over it. Hell, his date to the prom dumped his ass on the dance floor when he refused to dance with her instead of Joe. He didn't care. This was his best friend, his Joe. They were close and he didn't give a damn if anyone had a problem with it. Joe kept him happy, kept him grounded, and had been there for him for everything in his life without question. Her shoulder was the one he cried on when his father died. She was the person who cheered him on at his football games. She was the one that he went to when anything big or small happened in his life and she would most likely be there when he took his last breath.

"That better not be what I think it is," Joe mumbled in the dark.

It was. "It's not. Jeez, woman, someone's paranoid. It's my pocket light," he said, wincing. Ah, he was only human after all. It wasn't the first time she got him hard nor would it be the last time. The physical discomfort was a small price to pay to have her in his arms.

"Well, then your flashlight is growing. Jeez, Eric, put a leash on that thing before it stabs me!" she teased.

"But it likes you," he pouted.

She giggled. "I seem to remember a certain tenth grade math class where it liked standing up in front of the entire class."

He sucked in a breath. "Hey, that traumatized me!"

"Uh huh," she said around another yawn. "I bet it did."

"It did," he readily agreed as he leaned in and inhaled her vanilla scent. He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. She sighed contently.

"Night, Joe,"

"Good night, John boy," she said.

"Smart ass."

Chapter 4

Joe whimpered pathetically as her really annoying and loud alarm clock went off, letting her know it was two in the afternoon. She blindly reached out and started slapping her hand down, knowing it was only a matter of time before she hit that damn alarm clock. A minute later pure beautiful silence surrounded her once again.

Deciding another hour of sleep was just the ticket she rolled over and closed her eyes. What felt like moments later her cell phone went off. Muttering a few choice curses she rolled over and answered the phone without opening her eyes.

"Hello?"

"Hi, sweetie. Did I wake you?" Alice Parish, her surrogate mother, asked. Since the grand old age of eight when Eric took a mud covered Joe home Alice had been her mother. Her own mother, Pamela, adored the situation and happily relinquished all control and decisions to Alice.

Of course this was not an agreement Alice made with Pamela. Pamela just decided that she no longer had to do anything for Joe, because she found another sucker in her life to push her responsibilities onto. It didn't really surprise anyone when Pamela suddenly packed up and left town when Joe was sixteen. It hadn't mattered by then, because she'd already been living with Alice and the boys for two years by that point.

"Hey, mom, yeah I guess I dozed back off again," she said, trying to stifle a yawn. She'd only slept for a half hour this morning with Eric before they had a call and after that the calls kept coming. Then they ended up staying an extra three hours over their shift this morning.

"I'm sorry I woke you, sweetie," Alice said. It made Joe smile knowing that if she'd been Eric, Alice would tell him to get his lazy buns up. Sometimes it was nice being the favorite. Everyone in town knew Alice Parish utterly adored her boys, but Joe was the little girl she always wanted. That and Alice was always trying to make up for Pamela abandoning her. The boys didn't mind and she'd gotten used to it by now.

Joe glanced at her much hated alarm clock and groaned. It was half past four. She'd over slept. "What can I do for you, mom?"

"Oh, I was wondering if you could pick up some ice cream to go along with the cake I made for dessert."

She sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed, wishing she could go back to sleep. "That's fine, mom."

"Dinner's at six," she reminded her.

"I'll get there before that and help out," Joe said, trying not yawn. Oh, she was really looking forward to three days on the boat where she would be rocked to sleep.

"Thanks, sweetie. I'll see you later," Alice said before hanging up.

Joe dragged her feet to the bathroom. After a quick shower she blow-dried her hair, applied a small amount of make-up before yanking on her form fitting low riding jeans and blouse that ended above her belly button. Going to work looking plain was one thing. She was there to work, but any other time she left the house she dressed up a bit. Well, at least make it more obvious that she was a woman. Anything more than that was just way too much work.

Feeling refreshed and somewhat more alert she got into her car and headed towards Clement's Market. She grabbed the French vanilla ice cream she knew Alice wanted. She grabbed a half gallon of chocolate fudge swirl for Nathan, Alice's oldest son and the brother of Joe's heart, and then a half gallon of M & M ice cream for herself and Eric. Nathan's girlfriend and whoever Alice was trying to set up with Eric would have plenty of flavors to choose from.

Ten minutes later she was pulling up to the small white Victorian house that she still referred to as home. There were three extra cars in the driveway, two she recognized. She hated being the last one to arrive anywhere. She grabbed the bags and headed inside without knocking. If she tried to knock Alice would get insulted. Joe was family and god help her if she didn't act it.

She walked into the house, surprised when she didn't spot anyone in the living room. The smell of pot roast immediately hit her as she headed towards the kitchen. "Mom?" she called out.

"We're in the kitchen, sweetie!" Alice yelled back.

"Yeah, sweetie, we're in the kitchen!" Nathan added mockingly.

Smart ass.

She walked into the kitchen to find Nathan, tall with blond hair instead of Eric's dark brown hair, and blue eyes sitting at the table, holding hands with a very pretty plump woman. That was one thing she always loved about Nathan, he cared more about the woman on the inside rather than what she looked like. No doubt Joe would like her.

She found Eric sitting on the counter, looking uncomfortable under the gaze of a woman with long wavy red hair and a bit too much make up and too thin to be healthy. She looked to be mid twenties and really into fashion, judging by her overdone dress and amount of costume jewelry she wore. Joe doubted her bone thin arm was strong enough to move under the weight of the insane amount of bracelets she wore.

Joe didn't think she'd ever understand why Alice took it as her personal mission in life to find a girlfriend for her youngest son. He was incredibly good looking if you liked the bad boy look mixed with a touch of adorable, which she did, but that was neither here nor there. He never lacked options. They couldn't go anywhere without some woman shoving her number at him. So, why Alice thought he needed help she'd never know.

"About time you got your lazy ass here," Eric said with a wink.

"Eric Parish!" Alice said, sounding more shocked than she really should at this point.

"Yeah, Eric," she said, sticking her tongue out like a two year old.

As she passed him on the way to the fridge he swatted her on the ass. Hard.

"Eric!" Alice snapped.

"What?" he asked, looking and sounding innocent.

Joe just barely resisted the urge to rub her ass. Damn that stung, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing it did. Their relationship was complicated and admittedly very weird.

She put the ice cream away and palmed an ice cube.

"Sweetie, this is Nathan's girlfriend, Caitlyn and this is my friend Camie," she said, not mentioning Camie was meant to be Eric's date. No doubt the man would outright bolt if she did. He didn't want to date anyone right now or at least hadn't found anyone he liked.

"It's very nice to meet both of you," Joe said as she casually walked behind Eric. Quickly and discretely, she shoved the ice cube down the back of his pants.

She heard him suck in a breath and had to smile. Immediate retribution was always nice.

"Camie, Caitlyn, this is our Joe," Alice said, gesturing towards Joe before she gave her a quick hug and a kiss.

Joe walked past Eric just barely missing another swat on the ass as he stood up to rid himself of the ice. She walked over and gave Nathan a big hug and a kiss and shook Caitlyn's hand.

"So, you're their sister?" Camie asked, eying Joe up and down.

Nathan chuckled. "She's mom's favorite brat, my pain in the ass sister, and Eric's bitch."

Caitlyn covered her mouth to hide a giggle. No doubt she already knew the whole story behind their family. Camie looked really confused and mom's face went completely red.

"Nathan Parish!"

"What?" Nathan asked, still laughing. Joe playfully swatted him.

Eric shrugged unconcerned. "It's true," he said simply. He pursed his lips up thoughtfully. "Actually, if anything I'm her bitch."

Joe sighed and nodded. "That's true. You are my bitch."

"Josephine!" Alice said, obviously fighting back a smile. "You're going to make them think I raised you like this!"

Nathan blinked. "You did."

"I did not!"

"Oh, come on, mom. No need to pretend. Everyone knows you raised the three of us to be foul mouthed little bastards," Eric said, egging his mother on.

Caitlyn laughed while Camie looked utterly confused. If Joe had to guess the woman didn't have a clue they were all joking. It only took two minutes after meeting Alice to know she was a down to earth wholesome woman. She raised the three of them with more love than anyone could ever hope for.

"So...." Camie began. "I'm really confused."

Nathan and Eric sighed at the same time. Joe decided to set the table and leave it up to the guys to explain their odd little family.

"Okay, I'll explain our little family dynamic since I get a kick out of it," Nathan said cheerfully.

"Oh, brother," Alice muttered with a fond smile.

********

Eric settled into a chair safely away from the woman his mother was trying to throw at him. He seriously had to question her mental status on this one. Not one single woman he dated, not even Beth, the woman he'd been engaged to, was anything like this. This woman was too focused on her clothes and appearance to know anyone else existed. She'd already sent Caitlyn a dismissive look and a look to his mother he didn't particular like. To top it off she wouldn't stop staring at him like she owned him. It was really annoying and a bit frightening. He was half afraid that if he turned his back on her that she'd brand his ass.

He sat back in his chair and let his eyes roam over Joe. He definitely hadn't missed the nasty look Camie sent Joe when she walked into the kitchen. His upbringing was the only thing that prevented him from tossing her out on her ass at the moment.

Women could be such bitches sometimes. Not all of them, but women like this one definitely were. It just pissed him off when women gave Joe a dismissive look because she wasn't dressed in the latest fashion and didn't pray at the altar of cosmetics. Joe was beautiful, hell, she was sexy in her own right. She was distinctly female and perfectly curved in his book. She might not wear the latest fashions, but she always managed to make his blood boil, probably always would.