I searched his eyes. “Have you ever had a paternity test done?” I was fairly sure I knew the answer.

“No,” Cassio said.

That one word encompassed so much emotion. Love for Simona and Daniele, the determination to take care of them, but also the fear. “So you don’t know if Daniele and Simona are yours?”

“No. Simona and Daniele look like their mother… like…”

Like Gaia’s half-brother. “But their hair color is similar to your sister’s’.”

“It is,” he agreed, but doubt rang in his voice and I understood why. Now that I really thought about it, I had to admit that neither Simona nor Daniele shared any resemblance with their father. My heart hurt thinking of the possibility.

I swallowed. “Why?”

“Because I love them and I’m fucking scared the test results might change that. Especially Daniele… I can’t bear the thought that I might resent him for looking like Andrea.” His voice shook.

“You really think you’d love Daniele less if he wasn’t yours?”

“I don’t know,” Cassio admitted in a raw voice. “I don’t fucking know, which is why I won’t risk it. I’d rather not know the truth, rather live a lie than hurt Daniele or Simona in any way.”

I cupped his cheeks. “They are your children, Cassio.”

“You can’t know—”

“They are. Because you love them, because you raise them, and because they love you as their father. That’s what matters.”

“Yeah,” he said after a moment. “How can you be this goddamn wise and kind, Giulia? I should be the one giving you advice. I’m almost twice your age for God’s sake.”

I shrugged. “I had to grow up quickly.”

Cassio stroked my bangs away from my forehead, wistfulness clouding his face. “Because of me. I thought you were another child to take care of after our first encounter, too young to deal with the responsibilities being my wife entailed, but you proved me wrong. You take care of my children, of that dog, even of me.”

“Loulou. That’s her name.”

“Andrea gave her to Gaia a few weeks before I found out.”

“Oh.” That explained why he could hardly look at Loulou. She reminded him of too many hurtful things. “It’s not her fault.”

“She licked up Gaia’s blood!”

I cringed, not wanting to ponder that disturbing image. “She’s a dog. She doesn’t mean any harm.”

Cassio tilted his head to the side with a tired smile. “You can keep her, but don’t expect me to bond with that thing.”

I stifled a comeback. Some things took time. I rubbed my fingertips over Cassio’s stubbled cheek and chin. “Do you know why Daniele avoids you? Did he see anything?”

“He wasn’t present when I killed Andrea or during my fight with Gaia.” He reached for his glass, took a long gulp. “Right after Andrea’s death, he was still okay. But in the weeks that followed, he pulled back, and then after Gaia’s suicide, I couldn’t get through to him. Daniele resents me. I can see it in his eyes. We used to be close, but everything changed… He won’t talk so I don’t know if it’s something Gaia said to him or something he saw.”

I pressed my forehead to his. “We’ll find out together. For us. For our kids.”

Knowing what I did now, goose bumps covered my skin when I found Daniele in his mother’s bedroom the next morning. I could almost see her lying there from the vivid and raw way Cassio had described the scene. A lump rose in my throat, seeing Daniele curled up on his side. I wished I knew what was going on in his head, if he’d seen more than Cassio suspected. I approached Daniele slowly, trying to get the images out of my head. How much worse must Cassio feel whenever he set foot inside this room?

I picked Daniele up and he woke in my arms. It was easy to carry him since he wasn’t a baby anymore. Cassio came out of the nursery with Simona on his arm. He tousled Daniele’s hair gently, but he ducked his head.

I gave Cassio an encouraging smile.

“I’ll be home in time for dinner,” he promised before he left.

Like every day, Elia drove the kids, Loulou, and me to the dog park. Daniele was allowed to take the leash as we strolled through the rest of the park later in the day. He hadn’t even asked for his tablet today. Loulou requested all his attention, and he gave it gladly. It was wonderful seeing them grow closer.

Elia settled on the bench while I held Simona by her tiny hands so she could take hesitant steps along the pathway. Daniele perched on the ground, helping Loulou dig a hole in the cold ground with a stick he’d found. He was dirty, and digging holes in the park was probably prohibited, but I didn’t stop him.

“Loulou.”

I froze and almost let go of Simona, which earned me an angry cry from her, but my eyes were locked on Daniele who’d just spoken. Not to me, and not loudly, but I’d heard the word. I swallowed hard, trying to decide if I should try to coerce more words out of him. He had a small, soft voice, and I wanted to hear it all day.

I decided against pushing him, even if it was difficult. Instead, I peered down at Simona. “Good girl.” She grinned and took a couple more shaky steps.

The moment we were home, and I had a bit of free time, I picked up my phone and called Cassio. I couldn’t wait. He answered after the first ring. “What happened?” The tight worry in his voice made me regret my decision.

“Everything’s fine. I just wanted to tell you that Daniele talked to Loulou today.”

Silence. “You sure?” Every syllable rang with doubt.

“Yes, I heard him say her name. Isn’t that great? We’re making progress.”

“Why would he talk to a dog?”

“Many children develop close bonds to their pets because they can share everything with them without judgment or punishment. They are their best friends.”

“It doesn’t explain why he’s so obsessed with that dog.”

And then it clicked. “For Gaia it reminded her of Andrea, but for Daniele, it only reminds him of his mother, and that’s natural. If he finds comfort in Loulou, that’s good.”

Cassio sighed. “Maybe. I need to return to work now.”

“All right. Will you still be home for dinner?”

“I promised, so yes.”

“Thank you. I enjoy having dinner with you.” I quickly hung up, not wanting to get too mushy.

Cassio asked me to put Daniele to bed that night. He looked exhausted and as if he couldn’t bear his son’s rejection one more time.

After tucking Daniele in, I picked up one of the picture books I’d ordered and began to read it to him, but his focus was on Loulou who’d curled up in front of the bed. I patted the mattress. “Come on, Loulou.”

Her ears perked, and she jumped up onto the comforter between Daniele and me. His tiny fingers found her fur, and he kept stroking her as I read the book to him. “Do you want Loulou to stay with you?”

Daniele nodded.

“But if you walk around the house, you’ll wake her. Can you stay in your own bed?”