I seize his hand and hold it against my chest over my heart. “Not while we’re driving.”

Daggers shoot from his eyes as he scowls at my hand over his. “Why not? I’m not the driver.”

My lips part, about to confront him about his drinking, but I hear Anna’s warning echo in my head and I chicken out. “I just don’t think we should start drinking yet when we know we’re going to be doing that for most of the weekend.”

He withdraws his hand and rotates in the seat. “Excellent point. Although, it would help pass the time.”

I gaze at the window as the land progressively changes from green to white, lost in my thoughts. Will I ever be stable enough to help people instead of cause them problems?

Micha

It’s late when we arrive at Star Grove. The sky is black and the stars are covered by clouds. A thick layer of snow blankets the streets, the houses, and the yards, and red and green Christmas lights flash around the trimming of my house.

Lila is asleep in the front seat with her head relaxed against the window. Ella fell asleep in my lap and with her face so close to my cock that my mind has been filled with dirty scenarios almost the entire drive. But I boxed up my sexual tension, not wanting to relive another episode where Ethan overhears us doing naughty things.

When Ethan parks the truck in my driveway, Lila wakes up and stretches her arms above her head like a cat. “Where are we?” She blinks her eyes at my two-story house and then at Ella’s house next door. There are no tire tracks in the snow in the driveway of her house, which means no one is home.

My mom’s car is parked out in front of the open garage where the back end of the Chevelle sticks out. Ethan jumps out, leaving his door wide open, and tramples through the snow to the back of the truck. Lila follows, letting the cold air in, and meets Ethan at the tailgate. They begin to get the frozen suitcases out of the back.

Ella is nuzzled in my lap, fast asleep, and I just can’t help myself. Nibbling on my lip ring to stifle my laughter, I gently pinch Ella on the rib, right below her boob. She jumps up from her deep sleep, green eyes wild and glowing in the dim cab light.

“What the hell?” She smacks my arm, blinking the wreariness out of her eyes. “That was the meanest way to wake me up ever.”

I rub my arm where she hit me. “It was actually one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.”

“A jerk move.” She leans forward toward my neck, but at the last second heads south and bites at my chest through my shirt

I wince, but smile. “You know that turns me on more than anything.”

She brings her bottom lip in between her teeth. “You’ve been turned on for most of the drive. I could feel it pressed against my cheek.”

Ready to end the battle, I finish with a winning line. “That’s because you’re mouth was only inches away from my cock.”

Her cheeks heat up as her lip pops free, all red and swollen and so tempting. I get out of the car into the freezing cold and offer my hand to her. She takes it, about to jump out in the snow in her flip-flops.

“Wait a second.” I retract my hand and turn my back to her. “Hop on or else you’re going to freeze your toes off.”

She mounts my back willingly and I carry her to the porch. Icicles dangle from the trimming and the ice on the steps has been sprinkled with salt. My breath laces out in front of me as I reach above the porch light and retrieve the house key hidden below a clay pigeon. I lower Ella to the ground, hand her the key, and dismount off the steps into the driveway, my boots crunching in the snow.

“Unlock it and go inside,” I instruct, backing toward the car. “I’ll get our stuff.”

She watches me, her skin like porcelain beneath the porch light. “Who said I was staying here?”

“Who said you weren’t?” I smirk. “Now quit being a pain in the ass and get your butt inside where it’s warm.”

Before she turns away, a trace of a smile reveals itself on her lips. She unlocks the door and goes inside while I get our bags. Ethan decides he’s going to crash on the couch, which he’s done a lot since we were kids. Lila takes the bed in the spare room. That leaves Ella in my bed, something I’m thrilled about, although she probably won’t share the feeling.

After I show Lila where the room is and toss Ethan a blanket, I carry the bags to the bedroom. The light is on and Ella is lying in my bed on her stomach, flipping through the pages of…

“Where the fuck did you get that?” I lunge for the notebook, but she rolls to the side, laughing and hugging it to her chest.

“Oh my God… is this like your little black book?” She flinches as I leap on top of her and steal the notebook away from her hands.

“It’s not a little black book,” I practically growl. “It’s just a…”

“Journal that keeps track of all the girls you’ve slept with.” She slaps her hand over her mouth as she laughs so hard her face turns red. When she recomposes herself, she kneels up in front of me. “You know, I thought I knew everything about you, but I was wrong.”

I toss the notebook into the trashcan. “Where did you find that?”

She shrugs, lies back on her stomach, and slides her hands underneath the pillow. “It was under here.”

I kick the bags under my computer desk and turn on a lamp before shutting the ceiling light off. Then I shuck off my shirt and lie down in bed with her.

She’s shivering because the room is ice cold, but that’s how my mom likes to keep it to reduce the power bill. “There were a lot of names in there… more than I thought.”

I release a slow breath and rub my hand across my face. “Ella, I don’t know what you want me to say… I never wanted anyone to find that. It was just for my own personal thing, so I could…” I tense. “Keep track.”

She watches me expressionlessly and the level of awkwardness is maddening. “My name wasn’t in there.”

I rotate on my side and look into her eyes. “That’s because I knew I wasn’t going to have to keep track anymore. There’s been no one since you and there never will be again.”

Her breathing accelerates and she starts to get up. Thinking she’s going to leave, I reach to stop her, but all she does is discard her shoes onto the floor and shimmy out of her shorts. I instantly get excited at the sight of her ass sticking out of her panties.

She leaves my jacket on and climbs beneath the covers. “It’s cold,” she states with unreadable eyes.

I unbutton my jeans, slip out of them, and get under the covers with her, wincing when my feet brush hers. “Your feet are fucking cold.” I place a hand on her hip. “God, you’re cold everywhere.”

She wiggles her feet between my ankles and snuggles closer. “I guess you’ll have to keep me warm.”

I set my chin on top of her head. “You confuse me sometimes, pretty girl. You really do. One minute you’re mad at me and the next minute you seem to want me.”

She buries her face into my chest and her hot breath warms my chilled skin. “I confuse myself sometimes.” She pauses. “I think there’s something really wrong with my head, because reading that list just makes me want to have sex with you.”

Every muscle in my body freezes. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me right.” Her finger tickles circles around my nipple. “Like I said, I think there’s something very wrong with my head… It just made me want to take claim of you or something.”

“Then do it.” I hold my breath, waiting for her reaction.

She slants back and looks me in the eyes. “Not tonight. I’m tired, but you do have a birthday coming up in a few days.”

“Well, just to get things clear now, I want you wrapped up in a bow and nothing else. Well, maybe high heels. Those fucking gorgeous legs of yours look ridiculously sexy in heels.”

Smiling, she rests her cheek back on my chest and tangles her leg with mine, opening herself up to the top of my thigh and I can feel the warmth flowing off her. “Maybe that can be arranged.”

I embrace her and inch my legs closer, rubbing gently against her. “You seem to be in a good mood.”

Her breath catches from my touch and she rocks her hips slightly. “I’m just trying not to worry. Doctor’s orders.”

My hands slip around to her backside and I rest my palm on her thigh. “So does that mean that the old Ella May just might return?”

“No…” Her eyes close as my finger traces a line back and forth along her soft skin. “I don’t think she can exist anymore, but I’m pretty sure I can give you the real, current me… if you want.”

“Of course I want.” I grip her ass, shut my eyes, and breathe her in. “I want it all.”

Chapter 16

Ella

I wake up to the smell of bacon and eggs. It’s been a while since I had a good breakfast and my mouth instantly salivates. Stumbling out of bed, I pull a pair of jeans on, noticing that Micha took the garbage out, probably to get rid of the notebook.

“It should bother me,” I say to myself, slipping a long-sleeved thermal shirt over my head. “But it doesn’t. God, is my head really that messed up?”

I wander out into the kitchen. Micha’s mom is cooking over the stove as pans sizzle. Her blonde hair is in a bun and she’s wearing a pink sweatpants suit. A guy, at least ten years younger than her, is at the table reading the sports section of the newspaper and drinking juice. His brown hair is thick except for a small bald spot on the top and he has dark circles under his hazel eyes.

“Good morning, sweetie,” Miss Scott greets me with a cheery smile. “Would you like some breakfast?”

I glance at the stranger at the table, who makes me nervous as he evaluates me. “Umm… where is Micha and everyone else?”

She stabs the bacon with a fork and turns it over. “They went outside. Micha’s really excited that his dad paid to get his car fixed, I think… It was really nice of him.”