“You did the right thing, coming here,” said her mom.

“Did I? Flick and Addie still don’t have a home. They don’t have a family. All they have is a failed, unemployed designer who doesn’t know the first thing about children—except how to avoid them.”

“You’re overwhelmed,” Dad said. “You’ll feel better after another glass of wine and a good night’s sleep.”

Leaning back, she felt the familiar ripple of ocean air on her face. She was still getting used to being home, the scents and sensations and flavors that were part of her blood and bone. Oh, she used to yearn to be away, certain her life was meant to be lived amid the bustle and excitement of the world’s capitals. She looked around at her family’s faces, so gentle in the kindly light of the fire. “I want you to know, I do appreciate this so much. It means the world to me to have a place to go while I sort out this situation.”

“It’s good to have you home,” said her mother. “We’ll do everything we can to help. You know that.”

“Fern and I are not going to be staying in the guesthouse forever,” Virginia said. “You can live there once I get my own place.”

“The three of us don’t need the guesthouse,” Caroline said. “What I need is a plan.”

“Well then, what’s the next logical step?” asked her dad. His favorite question.

“For the first time in my life, I honestly don’t know. That’s why being responsible for these kids is so scary. How will I provide for them? What if something happens to one of them when I’m not paying attention?”

“Every parent’s nightmare,” Virginia said. “Welcome to the club.”

“I didn’t join the club. I got drafted.”

“You’re safe and sound here,” said her father. “You can take all the time you need to figure things out.” He reached over and gave her shoulder a squeeze. “You just got home, C-Shell. Give yourself a break.”

She stared into the fire as if the answers might magically appear amid the sparks and the flames. “I’ve had three thousand miles to come up with an answer,” she said. “I still don’t know.”

“Let’s take this one small step at a time.” Dad was always the voice of reason.

There was no rhyme or reason to this situation. She had no idea which step to take. But he was right. She was exhausted and needed to regroup.

“What are your options with the kids at this point?” asked Virginia.

“At the emergency hearing in New York, they said I had the option to surrender them to the state. The caseworker assured me it’s not a horrible choice. They’d go immediately into temporary emergency foster care, although with no guarantee they’d stay together. She told me that they might grow up in the foster care system or they could be adopted. I couldn’t imagine simply walking away from them, so I kept them with me.”

“I don’t blame you for stepping up,” her mother said. “That was an incredible thing to do.”

“I don’t feel so incredible. I just couldn’t stand the idea that they’d end up with strangers, and maybe even lose each other. Now that I’m in Washington State, I’ll need to apply to be their permanent legal guardian.”

“Is that what you want to do?”

“I . . . God, Mom. That’s like making them my kids,” she said.

“And?”

“It was never my plan. I never even wanted kids. I can’t seem to find a serious boyfriend, let alone someone who makes me want to have his babies.” She used to believe the one thing that would change her mind would be falling in love, falling so hard that she’d yearn to make a life with someone, make a family.

“You were with some great guys,” Virginia said. “They looked great on your social media, anyway.”

“Isn’t that what social media is for?” Caroline had met some good guys. Just not the guy. There was Kerwyn—Welsh-born, ironic, and darkly handsome. When they first got together, she couldn’t stop daydreaming about him and even found herself thinking she’d found something lasting. In time, though, she realized he rarely made her a priority. She’d been a mere convenience to him, an afterthought. And it wasn’t enough for her. She wanted to be someone’s whole world, an admittedly idealistic notion that had driven him away. After that, the pendulum swung the other way. Her next prospect, Brent, had been too into her. At first she’d enjoyed the attention, but after a while, she felt smothered and called an end to it. Most recently, she’d gone out with Miles, who was funny, charming, and good in bed—but they were moving through life at different speeds. She was in the fast lane, and he was in the no-go lane, drifting from job to job with very little purpose.

After three near misses, she couldn’t help but think the problem might be with her. Did she not know how to be in love? How to stay that way, nurturing a relationship along in all its sustaining, exhilarating passion and delight?

Maybe she expected too much, dreaming of something that was ultimately unreachable. Long ago, there had been one moment when love was defined for her, and perhaps to the detriment of all future relationships, she could not forget that moment.

Ultimately she surrendered to reality. Her primary relationship was not with a man, but with her career. That was a relationship she could control. One that wouldn't be destroyed by someone else’s priorities—or so she thought. Then Mick Taylor came along and ruined that for her, too.

“The New York fashion world isn’t known to be a great dating pool,” she told her family. “It hardly matters now. I’m single and in charge of two kids. Single and unemployed. Not exactly man-bait, you know?”

Virginia slid her a glance. “Actually, some guys are drawn to women with kids.”

“Hey.” She leaned across the arm of her chair. It was a relief to shift the topic away from the giant mess she was in. “You’re seeing someone, aren’t you?”

“If by seeing you mean dating, and if by someone you mean a few yummy men, then yes. I’m seeing several someones. And believe me, having a kid does not deter the right kind of guy.”

“Well. That’s good to know. Anyone special?”

Virginia shook her head. “For the time being, dipping my toe into the dating pool is a low-stakes game, because I’m completely unprepared for anything more. Meeting new guys is just a distraction. Something to do when Fern has to go to her dad and Amanda’s.”

“Jesus, you mean Dave’s already with that woman? He couldn’t wait until the ink dried on your divorce papers?” Caroline was outraged on her sister’s behalf. “God, he sucks so bad. Why didn’t I know about this?”

“Didn’t seem very sisterly to pile my troubles on top of yours. And frankly, I hate the story I’ve been living. Turns out my ‘perfect’ husband pulled the oldest trick in the book. He took up with an associate at the law firm, plotted a slick exit, and brought my life to a screeching halt. She’s awful, too—one of those phony Christians who claimed she was ‘saving herself for marriage.’”

“I guess you should have asked whose marriage,” Caroline said. “She ought to be ashamed, but apparently she’s shameless, targeting a married man with a kid. Vee, I wish I’d been a better sister. You didn’t do anything to deserve this, and I’m really sorry it’s happening. What can I do?”