“Weird to hear about it, I’m sure,” I finish for her.

“Yeah, a little.”

I think of Luke’s phone constantly going off, of watching him leave with the brunette. I imagine what it must be like for Mia to see that over and over. And now I feel worse.

“Look, I know you don’t know all the details but I’m actually okay now,” she continues. I’ve heard stories of what a mess Mia was, both physically and mentally, in the years following her accident. But that Mia bears no resemblance to the one I met when she returned from France late last summer. The one who was so in love with her husband I have a hard time believing she’d ever been with anyone else at all. Mia sighs through the line. “We just—me and Luke, I mean—we went about things so differently afterward, you know?”

“Yeah,” I say. Mia went on to marry the love of her life, and Luke is bringing home random girls every other weekend.

Luke might be all smiles and seem like he’s moved on, but a part of me wonders whether he truly has.

“I want him to be happy,” she says. “He’s a great guy and deserves to find someone a bit more . . . settled. And honestly, London, if he ended up with someone like you and was happy . . .”

I feel my eyes widen and I stand from the couch. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I say. “Luke and I . . . we’re not a thing. We hung out a few times but that’s as far as it went. As far as it’s going to go.”

She laughs. “I’m just saying, I don’t want you to stop seeing him because of me. You haven’t broken some kind of Girl Code. Ansel is my husband, and my whole world. I do appreciate you calling, though.”

I nod, even though I know she can’t see me. I’m not sure I really feel any better. “Well, like I said, I wanted to be up front with you. Luke seems to keep popping up at Fred’s and I wanted to avoid any awkward.”

“I have noticed him hanging around a bit more,” she says, teasing now. “Wonder why that is . . .”

“I see what you’re doing,” I say, smiling uncomfortably and sensing my exit from this awkward phone call. “And on that note I’ll let you go. I should get to work.”

* * *

THANKFULLY, I DON’T see Luke for a few days, and by the next weekend—just like I hoped—I’ve managed to land a second job at a club downtown. It’s a bigger place, with celebrity DJs and the occasional pop star. It’s a lot sexier and younger than Fred’s, which means I’m expected to wear something on the skimpier side; there are more students and more young guys, and probably the need for another dimple jar.

It’s also a lot bigger, so there are four of us behind the bar at all times, and at least half that many barbacks running around. The girls get hit on—the guys, too—but it’s easy enough to put up with because the hours are exactly what I need, the tips are great, and if I can manage both jobs for a couple of months, I’ll have the money I need for a car and better software before I know it.

Drunk people who are about to get laid are great tippers.

If Lola thought I was gone all the time before, it has nothing on the first week I’m juggling both jobs. I work almost every day while I learn the ropes, and by the time my only night off comes, I’m nearly comatose on the couch, surfing through channels for what has to be the third time. A forgotten Lean Cuisine congeals on the coffee table next to my laptop; if I had a cat on either side of me this Single Gal picture would be pretty much complete.

My phone rings at my side, and I wince when I see my mom’s face flash on the screen. I consider ignoring it—I have never finished a call with my parents and felt anything other than disappointed in myself—but know that that’s only prolonging the inevitable. If she doesn’t talk to me tonight, she’ll call tomorrow, and the day after that. It’s probably better to get it over with while I’m in close proximity to the kitchen and that brand-new tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream.

“Hi, Mom,” I say.

“London, honey. How are you?”

“I’m good. How are things at home?”

“I’m fine. Busy helping Aunt Cath plan the wedding. Your father’s out of town, so it’s nice to have something to do.”

“Right. Out of town,” I say, feeling my face heat. If my dad’s out of town, then he’s probably with his secretary—a woman he’s been cheating on my mom with for years—and it’s a subject I’ve learned isn’t worth touching.

“You’re not working tonight?” she asks.

“Nope, it’s my night off.”

“I called to see if you were absolutely positive you can’t come out for Andrea’s wedding. But if you’re busy I can call back tomorrow.”

“I’m just hanging out at home. And no, Mom, I just got a second job. There’s no way I can make it.”

She hums, disapprovingly, and I expect her to push but instead she asks, “Why are you at home on a Friday night? You’re still not seeing anyone?”

I take a deep breath and count to ten in my head. “Nope, not seeing anyone.”

“I worry about you out there all by yourself. London, you know you’ll never meet anyone sitting at home every night. I wanted you to come out so I could introduce you to Paige Halloway’s son. He’s a few years older than you but—”

“Mom.”

She sighs again. A long, drawn-out why-do-you-always-make-this-so-difficult sigh. “I’m sure you’ve heard that Justin is getting married.”

The words fall like a sheet of ice across my skin. “He is?”

“He is, honey, and I just don’t understand why it isn’t you.” When she says this, I feel something in me crack wide-open and spill every drop of hope for this conversation, and a hundred others like it. I want to give her a chance, always. And always, I realize too late why I shouldn’t.

I put my fist in my mouth so I don’t end up yelling. I keep it there because I know what is coming next, her quietly disappointed: “Why you broke up with that boy, I’ll never understand.”

No, you won’t, I think as soon as the words are out of her mouth. I’ll never tell you because it’s so much easier to let you think he’s the good guy than to let you know how long he cheated on me, and risk hearing you tell me it was my fault.

“I know, Mom,” I say as gently as I can. “It’s just all really complicated. But look. I’ve got to go.”

I hang up, and make a beeline for the ice cream.

* * *

AS FAR AS nights off go—with the obvious exception of the phone call with Mom and the news of Justin’s impending wedding—there’s not much I would change. I needed to sack out and do nothing. It’s why Lola didn’t argue when I declined the invitation to join her and Oliver for dinner.

But now, with the apartment empty, I’m bored. Bored and strangely restless. And if I’m honest, I’ve been like this all week whenever I have a second to breathe. I thought talking to Mia would ease my mind, but if anything, it’s made things feel more complicated. At the end she seemed almost encouraging about me and Luke, but she was assuming something different about our relationship, I think. And I just don’t know if I can handle him—or handle myself, with him.

With a look at the clock, I groan and sink farther into the couch, realizing it’s only seven. I consider going to bed for a little quality time with Old Blue, but even that doesn’t seem as appealing as it used to. I want to simultaneously strangle and congratulate Luke, because it’s a sad day when my favorite vibrator is no longer man enough to do the job.