Zen and the Art of Vampires Chapter 4


"Could this day get any longer?" I asked my empty room as I closed the door and leaned against it, sagging with the aftermath of far too many emotions felt in a very short space of time.

"Is that a rhetorical question, or an indication you're too tired to feature in the starring role of my fantasies?" a male voice asked, causing me to shriek and clutch the door in fright.

Alec emerged from the bathroom. A naked Alec. A very naked Alec. I stared in utter and complete surprise.

He paused for a moment, striking a pose of which I couldn't help but approve. "Did I startle you? It seemed much more discreet to let myself in and wait for you rather than alert everyone in the hotel to the fact that I sought your company."

I stared some more.

"Pia?" An amused expression flitted across his face.

"Hmm?" My eyes wandered over his body. I felt a bit dirty ogling the man so obviously, but then, he came out of my bathroom that way. Surely he intended for me to ogle?

"You're staring."

I swallowed a couple of times before I could speak. "I know. I'm sorry. I can't seem to stop. I'm trying, but you're naked. All of you. I mean, really naked."

"Yes, I am. I... er... realize that we parted in a less than satisfactory manner. I hope you won't hold Kristoff's determination to seek justice against me."

"Justice? Is he looking for vampires, too?"

Alec smiled. It was really a very nice smile, one I greatly enjoyed. "We are working together, but I can assure you that I mean you no harm. Quite the opposite, actually," he said with a little waggle of his eyebrows.

"Well... I did kind of think you didn't intend for me to get away when we were at the bookstore," I said, trying hard to keep my eyes from wandering. It wasn't easy. "I rather thought Kristoff was going to drag me off despite the fact that I'm not the person you're looking for."

"Ah, but how do you know you're not?" He took a few steps toward me, with a glint in his eyes that had my palms suddenly sweating. His hands cupped my breasts. "How do you know that you're not exactly what I'm looking for?"

I opened my mouth to tell him I wasn't that sort of a girl, wasn't interested in him, and he could just take his extremely gorgeous body to hell, but the thought of saying anything so obviously ludicrous left me with the urge to break into hysterical laughter.

"You have a really impressive penis," I heard myself saying, and immediately slapped my hand over my mouth, appalled that I could speak without thinking.

His hips rubbed against me. "I'm glad you think so. I'm fond of it, myself, but I am naturally biased. Would you like to touch it?"

"I'd be lying if I said that wasn't suddenly at the top of my to-do list. Um... would you mind if I asked how you found me? And is Kristoff going to burst in here at any moment in order to drag me off to be a Zorya?"

His thumbs flicked across my breasts, leaving me gasping. "Let us leave discussions of all that for later, shall we? As for your first question, I followed your scent, your sweet, feminine scent."

I stared at him in complete befuddlement.

"I didn't think you'd buy that," he said with a wry smile and a faux sigh. "Actually, I took this while we were searching the shop."

He held out the hotel pamphlet with a map of the area that I'd received when the tour group checked in.

"Oh. So you really want to be here?" I asked, having a hard time believing that idea.

A look of doubt crossed his face. "Did I misread the signs? I thought you were just as interested in me as I am in you."

He couldn't be serious, could he? He didn't actually mean what I thought he meant, did he? I banged the back of my head on the door a couple of times, just to clear the cobwebs that so were clearly muddling my brain.

"Pia? Are you so distraught that you are trying to beat yourself senseless?" he asked, eyeing me in a manner that was definitely not of the romantic ilk.

"No, just trying to unscramble my brains. Alec, I'm... I'm... oh, hell." I gave up trying to reason, and flung myself on him. As I've mentioned, I'm not insubstantial by any stretch of the imagination, and the force of me plowing into him sent us both sprawling backward until we hit the bed, the two of us going down in a tangle of arms and legs, and one extremely naked penis.

He laughed as I stammered out an apology, his arms coming around hard behind me to hold me in place.

"I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you? Am I squashing you? Can you breathe? Oh dear god, I've killed you!"

"You didn't hurt me, and I can breathe just fine. It takes a great deal to harm me, you know," he answered, his voice once again warm and filled with sensual promise.

I pushed myself off his chest so I could look down at him, well aware that I was straddling him in a manner that would have probably constituted the definition of actual sex if I hadn't been fully clothed. "I'm dreaming, aren't I? I hit my head on the door when I came in, and I'm dreaming all this."

"I assure you, I'm very real." He laughed again, and suddenly, I was on my back, his chest warm against my hands as he leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose. "I take it you don't have objections after all, despite my friend's rather determined efforts to coerce you?"

He slid off me. I couldn't help giving a self-conscious grimace. "I told you before that I'm not the Zorya - "

"Hush." He stopped me by putting a finger over my mouth. "You need not protest your innocence with me, my love."

My eyebrows rose at both his words and the endearment.

"I believe you are who you say you are, Pia. That Kristoff still harbors suspicions to the contrary pains me, but you need not have any fear that I will allow him to act against you. You are too honest - as sweet as the honey you taste of - to mislead us as he believes."

I heaved a sigh of relief. "I'm so glad you see the truth, but I have to say that I met the Zorya earlier - "

He stopped me talking again, this time with his lips in a much longer, much hotter kiss. "We decided not to speak of Kristoff or the Zorya. This night is for us."

My brain was squirreling all around with any number of thoughts, not the least of which was an appreciation for his ability to kiss. "That sounds like a good idea, although I have to say that I don't generally fling myself on a man I've just met."

"Ah," he said, rising. "I thought that might be the issue. That's why I brought with me a little libation."

He padded off to the bathroom. I admired the scenery of his backside as he did so, then scrambled off the bed and ran to the mirror next to the door.

"You like champagne?" His voice drifted out of the bathroom, along with the sounds of a cork being popped.

"Love it!" I said, snatching up my brush and quickly brushing my hair. I grimaced at my reflection, then dug quickly through my bag for a stick of cinnamon gum, chewing it at warp speed while I mentally ran over the list of important issues. Thank god I had bought all new undies for the trip, not wanting to have to launder the worn-out and somewhat tattered things I habitually wore. But the thought of my underwear brought up a whole new horror - I couldn't let him see me in it, let alone naked.

"Good. I also have strawberries, but I think we'll leave those until later. Ah, nicely chilled." A clinking sound accompanied a slightly metallic clang as Alec put the bottle back in what I assumed was a wine bucket. I spat out the gum into the wastebasket, praying my cinnamon breath wouldn't be too obvious, then pulled up my shirt to stick my nose in and take a few worried whiffs. I couldn't smell anything offensive, but I'd done a lot of walking, not to mention running away from various folks. Perhaps I was just oblivious to less than savory odors? A quick dab from my perfume bottle took care of any problem therein.

"Should I bring some ice, as well?" Alec asked, still in the bathroom.

"Ice?" It was too bright in here, far too bright. Although I'd flipped on only one light when I entered the room, Alec had turned on all the others, leaving the large room lit in such a way that every bulge, every bit of pudge, would be starkly highlighted. I dashed around the room and turned off all the lights but the one by the bed, and that I'd take care of as soon as he had a few glasses of champagne in him. "What do you mean, ice?"

"Ah. Don't care for it? Some women don't. We'll proceed along more traditional lines, then, shall we?" There was a tinkle of ice cubes hitting the sink as he dumped them out.

"That's breath, pits, underwear, flabby bits... oh dear god, birth control!" I raced across the room to my purse, dumping out everything onto a chair, frantically sorting through the contents until I found the small packet I'd made up that contained birth control pills, and more condoms that I thought possible to use on a three-week trip. The condom packages were connected in one long strip, intended for each individual one to be separated, but there was no time for such niceties. Clutching the strip, I hesitated, worrying about my underwear.

"Would you like me to light some candles? I see there are some in here."

Should I leave my panties on? Although I didn't have a lot of experience being seduced, I did have the occasional relationship, and I remembered distinctly one time when it was downright embarrassing to have my partner attempt to wrestle my undies off. Maybe I should take them off now, to save Alec the trouble. But surely he'd notice, and then what sort of an image would he have of me?

The picture rose in my mind of Kristoff's startled expression when I accosted him in the park. I knew exactly what Alec would think: Only shameless hussies strolled around without their underwear in foreign cities, flinging themselves on unsuspecting men. "I'm fine without candles, thank you."

I dashed back to the bed and stuffed the condoms under the pillow while arranging myself in what I hoped was the same position I'd just occupied.

Alec appeared at the door with a sweating bottle in one hand, two glasses in another, and a smile that promised much. "There you are, my goddess. How fetching you look, although don't you think you're a little overdressed for the occasion? After all, I have adopted an informal mode of dress; don't you think it's right that you do the same?"

"Definitely. But... er... after we've had a little champagne, don't you think?" I said, scooting back so he could sit next to me.

He frowned, looking from the bottle and glasses to me.

"I think perhaps we'll save that for after," he said, setting them down before suddenly pulling me to my feet. "I'm hungry, lovely Pia, and only you can feed me."

I defy any woman to be in my shoes and not melt at those words. And melt I did, all over him, sagging against him, too overwhelmed with my good luck to do much of anything. Alec's hands were everywhere as I pressed an awkward kiss to his collarbone, his mouth busily nibbling my neck, and somehow, my hands found their way down to his penis, which had gone from a dormant to an active state in the last few seconds.

"That's it, my darling, touch me, do not be shy. I am yours to enjoy, just as you are mine."

His hands were on my breasts, my back, coaxing my thighs apart so I could straddle the leg he thrust through mine, and all the while his mouth was as hot as fire on my neck. My fingers explored the equally hot flesh between my hands, leaving me marveling that such a mundane-looking bit of skin and tissue could bring us both so much pleasure.

"Sins of the saints," Alec groaned, his hips moving as I stroked him a bit more boldly. "Yes, just like that, my love. You drive me to distraction, Pia. I'm afraid I must... I must..."

He bit me then, bit me hard as he climaxed. I winced at the pain for a moment, but he must have realized he was going a bit too rough with the love bites, for the pain eased almost immediately. His groan trailed off as he clutched me tight, his fingers digging into my arms, his hips thrusting three more times before he stopped.

"By the saints, woman," he murmured into my hair as he deftly backed me up toward the bed. "If I said I've never had it better, you'd probably laugh, but it is the truth. And now, dear Pia, you must allow me to reciprocate."

I was oddly elated and deflated at the same time. There was, I admitted to myself as Alec carefully pulled my cream-colored linen blouse over my head, a certain amount of pride to be had in being told one gave a good hand job, but there was also a distinct lack of... well, a lack. I puzzled over my dissatisfaction with the way the events were proceeding until I realized with horror that Alec was tugging my now-soiled skirt upward.

"No, I'll do it. It's a bit... er... ooky. Why don't you get in bed and I'll just pop into the bathroom and get this off without making any more of a mess."

Alec's eyes were filled with contrite hurt. "You wound me, darling. But I see your point - I was rather more excited than I thought. I will naturally replace your ruined skirt. Let me take it off you and we will proceed."

Embarrassment flooded me, leaving my face hot. "You know, that's not really necessary. I'll just - "

"It is very necessary, I assure you," he said with a wolfish grin. "I will greatly enjoy undressing you."

I wanted to die right there on the spot, but equally, I wanted to experience all the pleasure that was promised in his eyes. Desire won out over shame. "All right, but you have to turn out the lights first."

"Turn out the lights?" A little frown appeared between his brows.

"You're going to make me say it, aren't you? Fine. I can stand a little more humbling. I don't want you to see me naked, OK?"

He glanced down toward my breasts, shameless hussies that were barely restrained by my bra. "Ah. I begin to understand. You are self-conscious about your body and think that I will find fault with it."

"Well, you have to admit there's a lot of me to find fault with," I said frankly, nodding toward the light. "If you could just turn that off, I'll go dump the skirt and we can proceed from there."

To my utter and complete relief, he did as I asked, his laughter filling the suddenly darkened room as he switched off the light. There was a rustle of sheets followed by, "You have nothing to fear, I assure you, but if it will make you feel better, I will satisfy myself with feasting my other senses on you."

While in the bathroom shucking the remainder of my clothing as quickly as possible, I had another quick check that everything was as it should be, wished I had time to brush my teeth quickly, and prayed that I wouldn't do anything to screw up what was surely going to be the best evening of my life.

Alec chuckled as I blindly groped my way to the bed, pausing to hop on one foot for a moment when I stubbed my toe on the bedstead. "You are a tease, Pia Thomason. But such a delightful tease, I can't find fault with your decision to drive me insane with desire. Ah, there you are."

He was warm and male and pretty much fit the description of every fantasy man I'd ever imagined. I slid into bed beside him, crossing my fingers that he wouldn't insist on feeling all the pudgy parts of me. Men liked breasts - maybe if I could keep him interested in those, he wouldn't notice my stomach and thighs and just exactly how big my butt was.

"What have we here? Nipples? How delightful." Before I could point him to the appropriate spots, he dived at my chest, his hands tweaking and touching and generally getting right to business.

"Do you like this?" he asked, and I about jumped off the bed when he took one nipple in his mouth and scraped his teeth against it.

"Dear god in heaven!" I yelled, clutching his head.

"I will take that as a yes." Laughter was in his voice as he turned his attention to my other breast, one hand starting to move downward. I sucked in my stomach, but needn't have worried - his hand kept drifting lower until he reached points south.

"I'm sorry, I don't wax," I blurted out, suddenly mortified. What if all European women were naked down there, or at least trimmed? "I tried a bikini wax once, when my girlfriend was getting married, and she begged me to try it with her, but I almost passed out from the pain, and swore I'd never do anything like that again."

His hand, which had paused a moment as I babbled, nudged my legs apart. "You make the most interesting bed talk, Pia. I assure you, I am not shocked or horrified. And please relax, my love. Your legs are as tense as a tightrope walker's."

I made an effort to relax and just enjoy the ride, wondering if I should bring up the subject of condoms now, or wait until things got a bit more heated. I assumed it would take Alec a while to regain his stamina, so it probably could wait.

That was my last coherent thought as his fingers dipped down into sensitive areas, his tongue swirling at the same time across one tender nipple. His fingers danced as I writhed on the bed, my hands clutching his shoulders as he spun me higher and higher. It didn't take long to send me flying, and I had a horrible feeling I shouted out something completely inappropriate as my body burst into a nova of pleasure.

His laughter wrapped around me in a cocoon as I regained my senses. "You are so very responsive, my adorable one. That does wonders for my ego."

I was about to tell him that there was no need for his ego to doubt his abilities when he rolled me onto my side and snuggled up behind me, his breath brushing my ear as he spoke. "I am delighted to have found you, Pia. More delighted than you can ever know."

I lay for a bit in confusion, listening as his breathing evened out and eventually fell into a sleepy rhythm. My emotions were in a tangle, disappointment raising its ugly head. Despite the orgasm, I felt as if the whole experience had ended too abruptly, as if it was unfinished.

"Don't be ridiculous," I whispered to myself. "Just because you didn't need the condoms doesn't mean anything. He's a man, and they can't do these things as frequently as women can. Be happy he didn't just roll over and go to sleep as soon as he got his jollies."

The words made sense but felt hollow nonetheless. Perhaps Alec had intimacy issues. Perhaps he was tired, and just didn't have a lot of stamina that evening. Perhaps he was one of those once-a-night guys, and that was that.

"Stop finding fault with the poor man," I murmured, and snuggled back against him, enjoying the feeling of a warm body spooned up behind me.

Besides, I had two more days in Iceland. There would be other opportunities.
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