Chapter 1: Amanda

 

I stood at the sink, staring down at my hand that held the pregnancy test. I slowly smiled and felt my stomach do a few flip-flops.

Pregnant. I’m pregnant. I quickly wiped away the tear I felt rolling down my cheek as I closed my eyes and pictured Brad’s face when I told him. I knew I wasn’t very far along because I had just missed my period.

“Well?” Heather said on the other side of the door. “What does it say, Manda?”

I took a deep breath, turned and opened the door. When I opened it, there they were, Heather, Ellie and Ari, all standing with goofy-ass grins on their faces. I tried not to show it, but as soon as Ellie flashed me that smile of hers, I lost it and started crying.

“Oh no…oh God, please tell me those are happy tears!” Heather said as she pulled me into her arms.

I was so happy I couldn’t even talk. I pulled back and nodded my head and the three of them started screaming.

I started laughing as I watched them all jump up and down. “Congratulations sweets!” Ari said as she gave me a hug and whispered in my ear. “Brad’s gonna be over the moon.”

I smiled at her as she pulled away and winked at me. I had shared with Ari how much Brad had wanted another baby. He wanted so badly to be a part of our next pregnancy. I knew it was because of the guilt he lived with by missing so much of my pregnancy with Maegan. We had been trying for the last five months, and it was starting to take a toll on Brad.

“I guess that trip a few weeks back helped,” I said as I winked at her.

Ari and Jeff had arranged a cruise for Brad and I, and it took everything I had to leave Maegan with her.

“Hell yeah it did! I told you all you had to do was just relax,” Ari said.

As we all made our way onto Heather’s back porch deck, Ellie and Heather were going a mile a minute, talking about the two new additions to our little group. Ellie was due in May, and if my math in my head was right, I would be due mid to late August.

“Are you going to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?” Heather asked as she sat down and put her feet up. She looked so damn beautiful, and I … I’d never seen her so happy.

I shrugged my shoulders. I felt funny even talking about it, with Brad not knowing yet and with me only being about three weeks pregnant.

Ellie looked at me and tilted her head. “You want to tell Brad, don’t you? Before you talk too much about it, huh?”

Jesus, how does this girl do that? “Christ, Ells, you getting the gift of knowing all?” I said with a giggle.

Everyone let out a small laugh and Ellie rolled her eyes. “I just know if it was me, I wouldn’t want to really talk about it until I told Gunner.”

Ari nodded her head. “Shit, when I went with her to the doctor and she found out she was pregnant I wasn’t allowed to say a word about it until she told Gunner.”

Ellie shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her tea. I laughed as I placed my hand on my stomach.

Heather looked and me and said, “How is Brad doing, Manda? Have you heard from his parents?”

I shook my head and just the mention of his parents made my blood boil. “Nope, not a word. His mom tried to threaten us with legal action because they wanted to see Maegan, but Brad went to their house one night for dinner and that was the end of it. He came home and told me we wouldn’t have to worry about them doing it again. He seemed so sad, and when I asked him what had happened, he told me not to worry or ever think about his parents threatening us again.”

I looked down and away and felt the tears building in my eyes. I felt Ari put her hand on my leg. I looked at each of them and saw the love in their eyes.

I swallowed and cleared my throat. “I know it’s better this way, but I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault that Brad walked away from his own parents. His future was set, ya know? I mean he would have taken over his father’s business, had more money than we would have known what to do with it and…and Maegan would know both sets of her grandparents.”

“Manda, you can’t keep doing this,” Ellie said.

“I know. Believe me I know them being out of our lives has been the best thing for all three of us, but it still makes me sad. It’s his parents. I mean his dad was always okay, just his mother.”

Ari shook her head and said, “If they really cared, they would have never have done the things that they did, Amanda. I mean I know most of it was the evil bitch who shall not be named, but still, Brad’s father stood by and allowed her evil to take place.”

I let out a giggle and nodded in agreement.

“I know this. Really I do. I’m just glad I have such a close relationship with my own parents and that at least Maegan will have two grandparents that love her more than life itself.”

I sat back in my chair and thought about last night and how Brad had made such slow sweet love to me.

“Holy hell, Manda, what in the hell are you thinking about? Your face is red as your shirt!” Heather said.

I threw my hands up to my cheeks and busted out laughing. “Oh God…I was thinking about being with Brad last night.”

All three of them leaned forward with wide-ass grins on their face.

“Oh yeah? Tell us. I’ve always thought that boy was probably a good screw.”

Ellie, Heather and I all shouted, “Ari!”

“What? Don’t tell me the first time you saw that tall, dark-haired handsome man you didn’t think he would be good in bed!” Ari said as she looked at Ellie, and then Heather, and then looked at me and raised one eyebrow.

I shook my head and said, “Yes. Yes I did think that, but my God. What if I asked you if Jeff was good in bed? No wait!” I put my hands up and started shaking them. “Forget I even said that.”

Ellie and Heather started laughing.

Ari leaned back and smiled as she took a sip of tea and then said, “Hey, ask me anything you want. I have no problem bragging about how good of a fu—”

“Stop!” Ellie shouted. “Please just stop, Ari. I don’t need, nor do I want, to know what my brother is like in the sex department with you.”

I smiled as I shook my head. “No really though, Brad is doing so good. I’m so proud of how he is handling things now. I’ve asked him if he ever has the desire to take anything and he told me no. Just one look at Maegan and me and he knows what he would lose. I’m so happy y’all. I mean, it’s never been better.” I let my head drop back as I could almost feel his lips on my skin. “I mean…fuck…how does it keep getting better? Wouldn’t you think after a few years of marriage and a baby things would seem…normal?”

Heather let out a giggle. “Nope. I feel the same way. Like every time gets better. No matter if it’s a quickie or a long romantic evening.”

Ari and Ellie both nodded their heads. “I agree. I swear every morning when I wake up and look at Gunner, I fall in love with him more.”

“Same here. What about when they touch you? Like Jeff will grab my hand and I still get those butterflies in my stomach.”

“Yes!” We all yelled out with a giggle.

“What’s your favorite thing they do to you while they’re making love to you?” I asked as I looked at each of my best friends.

“Oh…damn, that’s hard ’cause Jeff does…”

“Let’s hear from Heather first, shall we? I need to work my stomach up to whatever in the hell it is you’re going to say about my brother,” Ellie said as she made a funny face.

“Fine. Heather, you first,” said Ari as she rolled her eyes at Ellie.

“Oh wow…I like when he holds my hands above my head and looks deep into my eyes as he tells me how much he loves me.”

“That’s it?” Ari asked, sounding disappointed.

Heather’s mouth dropped open and she “What do you mean, ‘that’s it’? What were you expecting?”

Ari gave Heather a wicked smile and said, “I don’t know. Some bondage thrown in there I guess.”

Heather reached down and picked up a toy and threw it at Ari. “Fuck you, Ari!”

Ari started laughing as Ellie and I tried to hold in our laughter.

“Okay, okay…my turn,” Ellie said with a huge smile. “I absolutely love it when Gunner kisses on my neck and then slowly moves his way up to my ear and barely whispers to me that he’s about to come. Oh God…it sends me over the edge every time.”

“Hell yeah…the quiet-don’t-wake-the-kids lovemaking. So romantic and hot,” Ari said as she wiggled her eyebrows up and down. Ellie smiled and nodded her head.

Ari looked at me and said, “Your turn.”

I smiled and tried to pick one of the things that I loved. “Wow…this is harder than I thought. There are so many things that I love.”

“I know, right?” Heather said.

“Um…okay I know. Mine is kind of after we’ve made love. Brad does it every single time, no matter if we just had a romantic lovemaking session or a hot-and-heavy f**k session.”

“Fuck session?” Ari said with a laugh.

I rolled my eyes, “You know what I mean. Anyway, afterwards he always puts his hands on my face, kisses my nose and then looks into my eyes and says…”

They all leaned closer in with smiles spread across their faces.

“What does he say?” Heather asked, her voice almost a whisper.

I smiled and said, “He says, ‘You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, Manda. I love making love to you more than anything. I love you so much, baby,’ then he leans his forehead to mine and says, ‘Thank you for loving me.’”

Heather, Ellie, and Ari all put their hands up to their chest and fell back in their chairs.

“Every time? He says the same thing every time?” Ellie asked.

I nodded my head and smiled. “Yep.”

“Wow. That is so sweet,” Ari said.

Heather pointed to Ari and said, “Your turn!”

Ari glanced over toward Ellie and said, “You ready?”

Ellie rolled her eyes and said, “Ugh…I guess so.”

Ari took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She let a small smile play across her face and I couldn’t help but giggle at the face Ellie was making.

“Holy hell…are you going to tell us or sit there and dream about it, for fuck’s sake?” Ellie said as she folded her arms and looked at Ari.

Ari opened one eye and looked at Ellie. “Sorry, I was just imagining your brother making sweet passionate love to me.”

“Gag me,” Ellie said as she turned her head away from Ari.

Ari started laughing. “Okay, okay…so while Jeff and I are doing the nasty…”

“Stop!” Ellie said in a whiney voice.

Ellie reached over and slapped Ari on the arm.

After Ari stopped laughing, she looked down and said, “No really…I think one of my favorite things Jeff does while we are making love is how he talks to me. I mean, he really talks to me. Ya know? He either tells me how beautiful I am, or how much he loves me. He tells me how happy I make him. All the while he covers me in soft sweet kisses. God…just thinking about it gives me chills.”