“You’re her father.” My lip quivers as tears stream down my cheeks.

He peers down at me and I see the tears shimmering in his own eyes. “I told you that.”

“But it’s official. You couldn’t share those markers if you weren’t. Biological parents have half the markers. You’re her daddy.”

I’m grasping at straws, but I don’t care. It might be coincidence he shares those markers. It might mean something else, but I take a full breath for the first time in minutes, gulping down air like a thirsty survivor of a drought.

“He said possibly, not definitely. I still want that test, Sash. You need to know for sure.”

The weight in my chest has eased, allowing me to breathe freely for the first time in years. It’s the closest I have to proof Rav is her father and I cling to it fiercely.

“Okay.”

He pulls me into his arms, squeezing me, his hand going to the back of my neck, collaring my nape.

“I’ll make this right,” he tells me, and I’m not sure if he’s talking about Lily-May, Sin or both.

He dips his head and presses his mouth to mine. I forget about the doctor, the nurses, that we’re in a public corridor. All my thoughts are locked on the strong man holding me and taking me, a man who was once my everything, a man I wish would become that again.

Forgiveness isn’t something that comes easily to me, but I also can’t be angry at Rav forever. He didn’t know the full story about why I left. He had every right to be pissed. Since he found out what Sin did to me, he’s gone out of his way to be here for me and Lily-May. Because of that I find my resolve to keep away from him weakening. Even if I wanted him out of my life, I know he’d never go—not now. Lily-May is his, and he’ll never walk away from his child.

His mouth moves over mine, taking, devouring me as if I’m his reason for breathing, and I let him. I need this. I need him. My legs feel shaky as he presses his body against mine, my heart fluttering wildly in my chest. This is the Rav I remember. The Rav I fell in love with. My Tyler.

When he pulls back, he’s breathless, but so am I. Dazed, I peer up at him, blinking to clear my dizzied vision.

“Rav…”

“Ty, baby. You call me Ty.”

My heart soars at this. It’s an acceptance, one I’ve been desperately craving. It feels like a win in a game I’m stacked to lose.

“Tyler,” I try his name on my tongue, liking how it feels, watching the effect it has over him.

The doctor clears his throat, and I put a hand on Ty’s arm as he steps towards him menacingly. He stops, just about.

“I’ve put a rush on the other results. Please, be prepared the news might not be what you hope for. There’s a very slim chance of a stranger being a match, one in a million, though it does happen.”

Glacial cold sweeps through my belly at his words.

“If we can’t find a match?” Ty asks.

“Then we have to risk the half-match, taking bone marrow from you or Miss Montgomery. As I mentioned, this is risky, but it’s the only choice we might have.”

I knew that could be an option. It was why I went to find Ty and Sin. I’ve read everything there is to read on this disease and its treatment and I knew there was a slim chance one of them could match her more closely than me, though it was more likely they would also be a half match. A slim chance was better than no chance and I’d do anything to give Lily-May the best opportunity of survival, including pulling all my demons out of the closet for the world to see.

“All we can do is wait for the other tests to come back and see where we go from there,” the doctor tells us.

“Thank you.”

Ty pulls me away from the desk and into a corner of the corridor.

“There’s still hope,” he tells me and I rake my fingers through my hair, quiet desperation making my movements jerky.

“Taking from me or you isn’t ideal. It reduces the chances of the transplant taking.”

“But it’s still an option.” He kisses me. “That’s all she needs—options.”

I lean my head against his chest, gripping the lapels of his kutte. “Thank you, for being here today. I don’t think I could have got through this alone.”

“You’ll never be alone again, Sash.”

His words warm me and I peer up at him. “You’re her father.”

“She was mine anyway, I told you this.”

“She’s not Sin’s.” I let my tears fall, relief making my walls tumble. “She can’t be if you are compatible with her. Parents always have half of the markers of the child.”

I’m rambling, but I don’t care. I feel like the world has been lifted off my back, letting me stand straight for the first time in years.

“You’re both mine, and I’m going to spend however long it takes showing you that.”

19

Ravage

I pay a small fortune to a private lab on the other side of London to do the paternity test. They can have the results back in a week, which is the reason I chose them. I don’t want Sasha waiting longer than she has to. She needs this issue put to bed, and fast. The relief in her when she thought I was Lily-May’s father cut a hole in my chest and tore out my heart. She needs to know for sure. It’s the only way she can heal and start to rebuild her life.

I don’t need the test to know the truth. Lily-May is mine. I feel it in my bones. I want Sasha to be sure, though. She needs this closure. Even if the test says I’m not, which I doubt, I am this child’s father. I’ll raise her as mine. She’ll never know the truth of how she came into this world.

One look at that little girl and I was smitten. She fills a place in my heart I didn’t know needed filling, but it seems like it was reserved for her. Even so, I can’t help but feel I fell at the first hurdle—saving my daughter’s life. I needed that bone marrow test to match me. Being only a partial match is no use to my child. It shreds me that I can’t be the one to ride in and save the day, prove I’m worthy of this little girl who has already claimed me. I just fucking pray one of my brothers will be the one in a million the doctor said we need. They have to be, because Lily-May’s chance of survival diminishes if we can’t find a full match. Sasha leaving me changed me in ways I can never fix, but losing my daughter will bring me to my knees.

It’s early when I walk through the common room. The quiet is the opposite of the normal chaos that exists here. It’s not empty, though. On one of the sofas, I see Levi is asleep, a body lying on top of him. The swath of blonde hair tells me it’s most likely Noelle. She’s wearing just a thong, the globes of her arse cheeks sticking up like two voluminous round mountains, and her bare breasts are pressed against his chest. Neither of them stir as I cross the floor to the bar and move around the back of it. I grab a soft drink from the fridge, opening it and swigging back a mouthful.

I want to get back to the hospital as soon as possible this morning. I tried to convince Sasha to leave last night, to get some rest and eat properly, but she refused, and I don’t want to push her yet. Every day she opens herself more and more to me and the trust between us is growing again.