I wouldn’t have left her, but I still have hunting to do. I still have to find my fucking brother. He continues to evade us, which makes my gut churn with fire. I need him found. I need to put an end to the mess he created. Sasha will be able to breathe a little easier with him gone.

I didn’t leave Sasha alone at the hospital. Kyle is with her and her friend, Lucy, is there too. I’ve made sure she has a constant stream of brothers, just in case Sin decides to show up. I don’t think he’d have the balls, but who knows where his head is at right now. I’m not willing to risk Sasha and Lily-May’s safety.

I hear the door open and glance up as Fury strides in, clutching Zack by the back of his kutte.

I see the demons rising in his eyes as he readies himself for whatever action I demand and I don’t miss the blade he’s clutching in his right hand, ready to slide into the prospect if I say so. His eyes are a little crazy this morning, and the bags under them make me wonder if he’s been to sleep yet.

As Fury stops in front of me, he doesn’t say a word, just stares at me. The steadily forming bruises and blood dripping from his nose tells me Fury has already let some of his pent-up energy out on Zack and is waiting for confirmation he can inflict more damage.

I break the stalemate. “He’s who let Sin out of the compound?”

Fury nods.

I place my coke bottle on the top of the bar, then ram my balled-up fist into Zack’s gut hard enough to lift him off his feet.

He doubles over, gasping for breath, holding himself around the middle as he tries to draw air into his lungs.

He doesn’t try to defend himself or explain. Like a good little soldier, he doesn’t make up any fucking excuses for what he did, but I want an explanation from him. I want to know why he allowed my brother to gain freedom, putting Sasha and my daughter at risk.

“Why?” I hiss out.

“No one said he couldn’t leave,” Zack swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing and I’m impressed at his backbone as he faces me off. I don’t need shrinking violets in my club. I need strong brothers who I know will always have my back. “He’s a patched brother.”

“Was a patched brother,” I correct, letting go of some of my anger.

I fucked up here, not Zack. He’s done everything he’s been taught to do, and has even taken a beating for it. He couldn’t have questioned Sin. His place is below a patched brother. My fuck up was not telling anyone Sin wasn’t allowed to leave. That shit lands on my door, but my head had been a mess after Sasha dropped the bomb about my brother.

“He doesn’t get through the gate again, you hear me?”

“Yeah, Rav, I hear.”

I turn to Fury. “Make sure everyone knows, including the prospects. Fuck, even the club bunnies. Tell everyone.”

He nods. I grab my coke off the top of the bar and take a swig as Fury gives Zack a shove towards the door. The prospect stumbles before he rights himself and makes a quick dash for the exit. I can see the disappointment in Fury’s eyes as his knife disappears under his kutte.

Crazy bastard.

I slide my half empty bottle on the counter and push away. “I’m heading to the hospital. Anything happens here, call me.”

I’m trying not to let things slide in the club. It will always be my priority, but my focus is locked on my woman and kid. I need my brothers to pick up my slack while I’m sorting shit out.

“We’ll take care of shit,” Fury assures me.

I don’t doubt that, but his idea of taking care of anything usually ends with bloodshed.

As I step into the corridor, I see Nox coming towards the common room.

“Any luck finding Sin yet?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Little fucker is good at hiding.”

He would be. I taught him everything he knows. Frustration gnaws at my gut. I need him found. I need to make this problem disappear. “I want the whole club on this. Sasha and Lily-May aren’t safe while he’s out there.”

“We’ll find him,” he assures me, but tingles still race up my spine and a sour feeling settles in my gut. I hate not knowing where he is.

“Quickly, Nox. Check all our warehouses and any abandoned properties we have. Put the feelers out there. Someone has got to know something.”

The longer he’s out there, the more I feel a noose tighten around my throat.

“How’s Sash?”

“She’s keeping it together.”

He peers at me for a moment, before he says, “If she and the kid need anything…”

“Thanks. I’m going to put it forward officially in church tomorrow, but I want you to step up as VP. With Sin out of the picture I need a right-hand man I can trust.”

His eyes flare with shock before he regains control of his emotions. “Whatever you need, Rav.”

What I need is my brother found and this mess to be over with. Killing Sin won’t be easy, as much as I’m trying to convince myself it will. The thought of harming him conflicts with all my years of keeping him safe.

Doing this will stain my soul so black I’m not sure I’ll be able to come back from it, but it has to be done. I can’t allow a rapist piece of shit to walk free. I can’t allow him to have hurt Sasha and do nothing. I’ll look him in the eyes as I drag the knife through his flesh and I’ll make him suffer because that’s what he did to my girl. He took her dignity, her control and he can’t ever give that back. Killing him is the only choice I have, but that doesn’t mean it won’t taint me.

Sin was the only blood family I ever cared about, at least until I found out about Lily-May. Dad’s gone, Mum’s in the wind. The only family we ever had growing up was the club and each other. That he put me in this position burns like hot embers in my belly, but I can’t look at him without feeling hate and disgust. We could never go back to the way things were. I couldn’t live with him breathing the same air as Sasha and my daughter.

So, he has to die.

“When we were kids, before we went to live with my father, we’d sleep down by the railway tracks sometimes.”

Nox bobs his head. “I’ll head down there and see if he’s been seen.”

“Make sure you recover his kutte.”

“Yeah.”

I head out to my bike, thoughts colliding around my brain and climb on. Then I make my way to the hospital to see my girls.

20

Sasha

Lily-May sleeps most of the morning, but she wakes up crying and I can’t do anything to settle her. The nurse gives her more pain medication, but it doesn’t work either. My heart feels like it’s tearing open as her cries pierce my ears. I’m exhausted, mentally and physically drained. I don’t know how much longer I can keep being strong. I’m falling apart at the seams.

Lucy tries to settle her too, but nothing is working. She fusses, her little fingers curled into fists as she tries to deal with her pain. My tears flow freely as I watch my child suffering and am helpless to stop it. I would take all her pain for her if I could. I would take it a thousand times over.

I swipe my tears away as I run my hand over her hair, trying to soothe her. It takes her a while, but she does eventually drift off. I breathe easier as her own breaths become slower and steadier.