The door opens and I twist to see Tyler standing in the doorway, his kutte on his back as always, the dark blue shirt he’s wearing straining beneath the thick cut of his muscles. I smile, but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes, which are still watering.

“What’s wrong?” he demands immediately.

Lucy speaks before I can. “Lily-May’s having a bad morning.”

I watch Ty’s jaw tighten at this news, watch the darkness cloud his eyes as he strides towards the cot bed. His hand reaches out, as if he wants to touch her. He’s hesitant, and I hate that he is. He should feel comfortable touching his own child.

“It’s okay,” I tell him, my voice dropping low.

He runs a hand over her hair and my heart breaks for him. He should have been with his daughter from her first breath. I denied him that.

For a moment, he just keeps stroking her hair, his eyes locked on her like she’s the most precious thing on earth and I watch in silence, letting him have this moment with Lily-May who seems to settle more under his hand.

Lucy glances at me to make sure I’m okay with him being here. I nod and she eyes him before she slips from the room, giving us the privacy we need.

Tyler’s eyes roam over our daughter, his brow knitting together. I can see him trying to work out how to make this right. There is no making this right, though. Helplessness washes through me like poisonous acid, corroding my veins.

“What does she need?”

“The transplant.” I rake my fingers through my hair, trying to calm my breathing. I feel short of breath, on edge and terrified. I don’t want to lose my daughter. Not after such a short time with her. I want to see her marry, grow older, have children of her own, if that’s possible after the transplant. I want to be in her life until I take my last breath.

“If I have to call in all the chapters of the Sons to do the test, I’ll do it. We’ll get her this match,” Ty assures me.

I draw air in shakily and peer up at him. He’s so confident he can fix this, can make it better. I want to believe him, I really do, but I don’t know if I can. This isn’t something he can throw anger at and make right by bossing people around. This is in the hands of a higher power, one neither of us can control.

He takes my hands in his.

“We have to fight for her.”

“I know.”

He dips his head and takes my mouth, claiming me, marking me as he nips my bottom lip. It’s a kiss that makes my knees tremble and my body feel weak. He always did have the ability to shake my foundations. I cling to him, like he’s the only thing keeping me upright and when his hand collars the back of my throat, I can’t help but press against his hard, lean body and want more of him.

When he breaks the kiss, I’m reluctant to let him, but he pulls back, his eyes scanning my face. His expression is a mask of anxiety that kicks me in my gut.

“We’ll get through this,” he tells me.

I want to believe him desperately, but months of fighting my concerns, of pushing down my fears are catching up with me. Coupled with telling my secret, I’m struggling to keep my walls up.

I’m losing my daughter with each day that passes. The disease continues to ravage her, to chip away at her strength, her resolve to keep fighting.

I can’t bear it.

I cling to Tyler’s kutte, smelling the leather and his aftershave, my head resting against his chest and sob as his arms wrap around me. I take strength from his grip on me, even as my heart feels like it’s shattering into a million pieces. My daughter has to survive this. There’s no alternative. I won’t let there be.

“Don’t cry, baby,” he tells me, but I can’t stop my tears. They fall thick and fast down my cheeks. I let him hold me, soothe my pain. I’m falling apart.

“I’m trying to be strong,” I say, my fragile walls tumbling down around my head.

“You don’t have to be strong anymore. I’ll be strong for the three of us.”

A knock on the door breaks through the moment, and I swipe quickly at my face as it opens to reveal Dr Harking. The smile on his face instantly has my spine snapping straight.

“What? What is it?” I ask.

“I rushed the results through from your friends.” He grins. “We found a match.”

My heart jolts beneath my ribs and the ground beneath my feet shifts. “You did?” I breathe out the words, hardly daring to believe him.

“Yes, I was astounded myself, but it’s a good match with your daughter. If we transplant, it should take well.”

“Who?” Ty demands.

“Uh,” he glances down and flicks through the notes he’s holding, “a Mr Joseph Henry.”

It takes me a second to recall from his prospecting days, but I remember Joey is Fury’s real name. It has to be him.

“One in a million,” Tyler mutters under his breath.

I snap my gaze towards Ty. “We have a match.” My voice is pitched higher than usual.

“I know.”

“Lily-May will get better.”

“Yeah, darlin’, she will.”

Relief floods me at the realisation my daughter has a chance now. She might just survive this. I send a thank you to the universe. Tingles dance in my stomach as excitement starts to bloom. I never thought we’d get a match, let alone in someone close to home. Fury’s family. He didn’t grow up in the club like I did, but he became family the moment he got his full colours.

“He’s going to need injections, needles,” I tell Ty, worry bleeding into my voice. I know how scared he is of needles.

“I know.”

“Is he going to be able to do it?”

He kisses my forehead. “He wouldn’t have volunteered to do the test if he wasn’t going to follow through. All the guys knew there would be a chance they’d get called up.”

“This is great news,” Dr Harking says. “If we can get Mr Henry back in as soon as possible we can get the ball rolling and get Lily-May on the road to recovery. It’s still not without risks, but the likelihood she’ll take the marrow without rejecting it is greatly increased with a true match.”

“Thank you so much, Doctor.”

He inclines his head. “I want to see Lily-May get well, too. I’ll leave you both alone.”

I turn to Tyler, unable to stop my smile. “We have a match. Lily-May is going to survive.”

Those words ease some of the tension in my chest, because now I know my daughter has a real shot at survival, and that’s the best feeling in the world.

21

Ravage

The smile on Sasha’s face nearly breaks me. Since we found out Fury is a match for Lily-May, she hasn’t stopped grinning. I watch her with our daughter, my heart feeling lighter than it has in years. I’m stained black, my soul so dark now I can never come back from it. You don’t live a life like I’ve lived and not have that shit embedded in you, but Lily-May makes me feel like I could clean some of the dirt away. She’s the only thing in my life that I’ve done right.

I stand at Sasha’s back, rubbing circles low on her spine as she plays with our little girl’s feet, making her giggle. It’s good to hear that sound coming from her. Every time I’ve seen my child, she’s been so sombre, so quiet. It’s almost as if she knows she’s been saved.