HER SERENE HIGHNESS MOM RAJAWONGSE PIYARASMI AAKARA

Granddaughter-in-law

What an odd family I’ve married into. Adam’s aunties are like characters straight out of a Merchant Ivory film. They go rattling around this huge palace, dressed like underpaid civil servants, but then they start speaking and they all sound like Maggie Smith. Auntie Felicity clucks about like a mother hen, criticizing everyone, while Auntie Victoria seems to be an expert on everything even though she hasn’t worked a day in her life. She even tried to challenge me on the origin of the hantavirus! Then there are the Hong Kong cousins—Alistair Cheng, who is very sweet but…how do I put it politely…not the sharpest tool in the box, and his sister, Cecilia, and Fiona Tung-Cheng, both perfectly polite but soooooooo stuck up. Why do all Hong Kong girls think the sun shines out of their asses? They just chatter away to each other in Cantonese and go off on foodie adventures every day with their kids. I suspect they only came to Singapore to eat. Every time they are around I feel like they are assessing me from head to toe. I don’t think Cecilia approves of Balmain. And then there’s Eddie. What a crazy fuck. Grandma has just died, and all her daughters stand there staring at her body without a single tear in their eyes. The only people who seem to be crying are the maids, the Sikh guard, and Eddie. OMFG I have never seen a grown man sob like that. Crawling into bed and cradling his dead grandmother. Dressed in a velvet smoking jacket! And then Nick—the only halfway normal person in the whole house—enters the room and Eddie lunges at him. The aunties start to scream but really, it’s a pretty pathetic fight, because Eddie hits like a girl and Nick simply rolls him off and pins him to the ground. “Calm the fuck down!” Nick says, but Eddie’s screaming, kicking, thrusting, and finally Nick has no choice but to sock him right in the nose, and blood just goes EVERYWHERE. Especially all over my brand-new Rick Owens toad-skin boots. And now I’m told we have to spend at least another week with these people. Kill me now.

CAPTAIN VIKRAM GHALE

Head of Security, Tyersall Park

Ah Ling called me in a panic. “Aiyah, come quick! They are fighting! Eddie is trying to kill Nicky!” I rushed upstairs with two Gurkhas but by the time I got to the room, it was all over. Eddie was sitting at the foot of the bed, blood all over his face. He kept saying, “You broke my nose! You are going to fucking pay for my nose job!” Nicky just stood there, looking stunned. Alix smiled at me as if nothing had happened and said, in the calmest voice ever, “Ah, Vikram, you’re here. I’m not sure what the procedure is. Who do we call? Do we call the police now?” I was confused at first and said, “You want to report this fight?” She said, “Oh no, not that. My mother has passed away. What are we supposed to do now?” In all the confusion, I hadn’t even noticed that Mrs. Young was dead. I couldn’t help myself—I burst into tears right there in front of everyone.

FELICITY LEONG

Eldest Daughter

No matter how old you are, no matter how ready you think you are, nothing quite prepares you for the loss of a parent. My father passed away years ago, and I still haven’t quite recovered. People have been saying to me all week long, “At least your mother lived to this ripe old age, and you got to spend all these years with her.” And I just want to spit in their faces. I want to scream at them, Shut up, all of you! My mother died. Please don’t tell me how lucky or fortunate I am that she lived this long. She has been here on this earth my entire life and now suddenly in the blink of an eye she’s gone. Gone, gone, gone. And I am an orphan now. And even though she was a difficult woman, even though she drove me crazy half the time and I was never ever quite good enough for her exacting standards, my heart is broken. I will miss her every day and every hour for the rest of my life. My only regret was that I wasn’t there with her at the moment of her passing. Cat was the only one in the room with her, and I kept asking her what happened. But Cat seems too distraught to speak. She won’t tell me a thing.

—

A small, discreet, one-column death notice was published in the obituary section of The Straits Times:

SHANG SU YI, Mrs. James Young

(1919–2015)

Beloved wife and mother

Son—Philip Young

Daughters—Felicity Young, Catherine Young, Victoria Young, Alexandra Young

Sons-in-law—Tan Sri Henry Leong, M.C. Taksin Aakara, Dr. Malcolm Cheng

Daughter-in-Law—Eleanor Sung

Grandchildren and Their Spouses—Henry Leong Jr. (m. Cathleen Kah), Dr. Peter Leong (m. Dr. Gladys Tan), Alexander Leong, Astrid Leong, M.R. James Aakara (m. M.R. Lynn Chakrabongse), M.R. Matthew Aakara (m. Fabiana Ruspoli), M.R. Adam Aakara (m. M.R. Piyarasmi Apitchatpongse), Nicholas Young (m. Rachel Chu), Edison Cheng (m. Fiona Tung), Cecilia Cheng (m. Tony Moncur), Alistair Cheng

Great-grandchildren—Henry Leong III, James Leong, Penelope Leong, Anwar Leong, Yasmine Leong, Constantine Cheng, Kalliste Cheng, Augustine Cheng, Jake Moncur, Cassian Teo

Brother—Alfred Shang (m. Mabel T’sien)

Visitations begin tonight at Tyersall Park by invitation only.

Funeral at St. Andrew’s Cathedral, Saturday at 2:00 p.m. by invitation only.

No flowers please. Donations may be made to the St. John’s Ambulance Association.

* * *

* Hokkien for “No more.”

CHAPTER TWO

TYERSALL ROAD, SINGAPORE

Goh Peik Lin turned to Rachel from the driver’s seat of her Aston Martin Rapide. “How do you feel?”

“Well, I didn’t manage to sleep a wink on the plane, so it’s 7:30 a.m. New York time for me right now and I’m about to crash the funeral of a woman who didn’t approve of me marrying her grandson and meet all of her possibly hostile relatives that I haven’t seen in five years. I feel great.”

“You’re not crashing the funeral, Rachel. You’re part of the family and you’re here to support your husband. You’re doing the proper thing,” Peik Lin tried to assure her. Peik Lin was her closest friend from their Stanford days and had always been such a pillar of support.

Sitting beside Rachel in the backseat of the sports sedan, Carlton squeezed her hand in a show of support. Rachel leaned her head against her brother’s shoulder and said, “Thanks for flying down from Shanghai. You really didn’t have to do this, you know.”

Carlton made a face. “Don’t be daft. If you were going to be anywhere in this hemisphere, did you think I could stay away?”

Rachel smiled. “Well, I’m glad I get to spend a few moments with you both before I get sucked into the matrix. Thanks so much for picking me up, Peik Lin.”

“Don’t even mention it. Poor Nick, I know he wanted to come get you but he’s totally trapped at the night visit,” Peik Lin said.

“So what is this night-visit thing, exactly?” Rachel asked.